Changing Friends?

I was wondering if anyone else is going thru changes in friends? I have a friend I email regularly. His emails have always been fine. He doesn't know I had surgery. I told him I lost weight by working with a nutritionist. I am glad I did now. He was fine until he saw me in person and noticed my 110 lb weigh lost. He had put on some weight himself. Now I get these rude uncalled for messages when I ask questions or respond to his questions. I know he is jealous. I can lose his friendship if that is the way he is going to be. I have another friend who was my eating out buddy. She is not obese. We don't eat out as often as before and don't enjoy any dessert any longer. She is fine but is clinging on to me. I changed companies and now she wants to work where I do. She even sent the manager an email asking for a job. I don't know if it's me, but I am ready to leave her behind also. What is wrong with me? I have a few other friends who are true friends and I don't want to lose them. Why now at 6 months and 110 lbs post op do I feel the need to lose some friends. I want friends who can relate and respect me. How can I tell if I have changed--or they have? Have I become a snob? I am still overweight (215 lbs) will I change friends again when I get closer to my goal? I don't want my personality to change. I want the old person just minus the weight. Please help--I am really concerned.

I'm no psychologist (but I've had plenty of therapy;)....here's my two cents. I think you're right about your email friend-he is jealous. Maybe he will adjust over time, but if your friendship was based (in his mind) on him being superior to you because you were heavier than he was, there may not be any fixing it. If he keeps up the poor behavior, you may need to dump him. My guess about your other friend is that she feels she is losing you, and may need you in a sort of co-dependent way. (Trying to get a job where you work is such a desperate move...) If you don't think there's some deeper need here, maybe the two of you can find other activities you can do together besides eating. There must be something else you have in common?? You're obviously working hard to improve your life, and that can be threatening to others...especially when they don't have the courage, motivation, or whatever to make changes for themselves. I doesn't sound to me like you are changing in personality-you've got other friends, and you want to keep them. It seems like it's more a case of finding out who your true friends are.. I used to place a lot of value on how many friends I had, as if since I was morbidly obese, I should take what I can get. Long before I worked up the courage to have surgery, though, I decided quality was much more important! NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU! Barbara P.S. Let us know how it's going.