WLS Journey: Speed Bumps, Detours & Celebrations to Transformation
June 24, 2019Weight loss surgery patients share many common experiences, and yet we often feel like we’re going through them alone. All of us will experience stalls, wardrobe malfunctions, holidays, food choices (good and bad), awkward conversations with people who don’t know we’ve gone under the knife… the ups and downs of post-op life are limitless. And we’re all living these common experiences. So why do we still feel like we’re doing it alone on our WLS journey?
This article is designed to be a touchstone when you feel discouraged or lost. This is a place where we will discuss those shared moments we all (or will) face through our journeys – whether we are a week pre-op, two days post-op, or three years post-op, at goal and maintaining our weight. My hope is that you'll be able to use some of the strategies to get over the speed bumps, avoid the detours, and heighten the celebrations.
Your WLS Journey
Every one of us had a moment where we looked at ourselves in the mirror and knew the time had come to make a change in our lives. Although that moment looks different for everyone, I want to suggest that those moments aren’t necessarily as bad as we’ve made them out to be. They feel and look like depression and desperation, but in fact, they can be a catalytic moment of transformation. Since the vast majority of obese individuals suffer from depression, the emotional toll that moment took on us is likely similar.
After having difficulty and back pain while cleaning myself after using the bathroom, and finding myself over 400 pounds for the first time in my life, I was at that moment. I knew when I went to see my doctor that she would simply tell me that the damage was done and that it was time to go home and die. I was ready to give up, and not on the journey, but on myself.
Strategies for Speed Bumps, Detours & Celebrations
Strategy One: Don't Give Up
But we don’t give up, do we? I didn’t. I went into my doctor for that appointment anyhow. Even fearing the worst – and it was the moment that turned my life around. So, here’s strategy number one: don’t give up. Failure isn’t defined by how often we fall down, but by how often we choose not to get back up. Every one of us is still fighting. That’s a celebratory moment, in fact, if you really think about it, it defies the odds.
We’ve all been told for years that we couldn’t change and we never would, and yet we keep trying. That’s miraculous. Making the decision to have surgery is a big step, but what about what happens afterward? Where are the speed bumps and roadblocks now?
Stalls are common and can happen after surgery. The most famous one is the three-week stall. It doesn’t always come at three weeks, or even always come at all. For a large majority of us, however, we know this stall well. We’ve been eating to plan, keeping caloric intake lower than many of us have ever successfully tried and all of a sudden the scale stops moving, or worse, goes up. How in the world is this possible? You may be thinking "I’m barely eating and I’m gaining weight?"
Fortunately, the same strategy works for stalls or any hiccup in your WLS journey. Don’t give up.
Recognize that people who have been through this before you had the same stall. Your body is adjusting from major surgery. It will take time to accommodate. This is all in addition to the fact that the post-operative swelling and water weight are par for the course for your body as it recovers. It’s a massive fluid shift that your body is supposed to go through because it’s healing. Before you know it, that stall will be gone, along with another 20 or 30 pounds.
Strategy Two: If You Fail To Plan, You're Planning To Fail
Holidays and celebrations. Have you ever noticed how if you take a moment and look, you can find something to celebrate about every three or four hours? And why does every celebration come with cakes, sweets, carbs, slider foods, and things you want to resist, but have a hard time with?
It’s a truly Herculean task to survive from October 31 to February 14 without a huge slide backward. So how do we do it? Strategy number two pops into play here with a favorite cliché of mine: if you fail to plan, you’re planning to fail.
There are tons of bariatric surgery friendly snacks and treats that you can stock up on to get through a holiday season. Go to your GNC, Amazon, or just ask your friends on Facebook, Instagram, or right here on ObesityHelp! I promise there are good sweets we can share that will satisfy those cravings, but keep you on track to hit your goals.
If sweets aren’t your thing, we’ve got some amazing savory recipes too. One of my favorite indulgences is pasta – and a search for “bariatric friendly ricotta bake” will yield you some amazing Italian flavors in a small quantity. Also – there are amazing edamame and veggie based “pastas” available in most local retailers in many markets (you don’t even have to go to specialty stores).
Strategy Three: Enjoy Your Life
This is a great strategy. Enjoy your life. Weight loss surgery isn’t a lifetime sentence of deprivation. Quite the opposite – it’s a breaker of chains that limits you and your highest quality of life.
Weight loss surgery gives us the tool we need to live life to the fullest we can – in all aspects. Including our relationship with food. Nothing says you can’t just measure out one ounce of that cake and eat it slowly and enjoy every morsel. If you haven’t yet, you might just find it’s too sweet for your tastes now.
Since my surgery, I’ve had cake, ice cream, pasta, bread, rice, and more, but all in smaller more moderate quantities – and rarely every day and never all at once! My sleeve lets me eat “normal” foods in smaller quantities. As long as I’m still getting my protein and water in, my body doesn’t rebel much. Sure, I might gain a pound or two, but they come back off because I remember the basics of my plan and stick to them most of the time (which I’ve heard it said is what matters – what you do most of the time – not what you do some of the time).
Find the things that are new and celebrate them. If you’re not already familiar with the phrase “NSV” – it’s time to get familiar. These “Non-Scale Victories” are the core of what really drives you forward. The difference in your body when you lose two and three-quarter pounds in a week isn’t noticeable, but the first time you fly on a plane without a seat-belt extender is.
Last week, my girlfriend Alex (another VSG patient) and I went shopping at a popular retail outlet I think of as being for “young skinny people.” I grabbed a t-shirt of theirs, a Large (when I used to wear 4xl shirts which were tight). Not only did it fit, but my chest popped and felt strong and I looked good in it. Nobody in that store stared at me as the fat guy there who was shopping beyond his body’s shape. It felt amazing. I didn’t buy the shirt but I took a selfie and posted it to Instagram.
The Last Strategy: Celebrate Yourself And Others
Which brings me to my last strategy: celebrate yourself…and others! Look – we’ve worked super hard to get here – and will work hard to stay here the rest of our lives.
We’re not people who shy away from challenges, but none of us can do this alone. We need to take the moments to champion ourselves and each other. So join a community if you don’t have one yet and get involved. Cheer on your friends and also total strangers, and remember how good it feels when you get cheered on.
I’m proud of you for how far you’ve already come and I can’t wait to see how far we can all go from here! So enjoy the journey, my friends – it’s time to live our best lives yet!
 | ABOUT THE AUTHOR Jonathan Dichter is an author, lawyer, teacher, actor, motivational speaker, comedian, half-marathoner, unashamed geek and most of all, father, who currently lives in the Pacific Northwest. In 2015, he made the decision to change his life completely through gastric sleeve surgery. Since his surgery in May of 2016, Jonathan has lost a tremendous amount of weight. Jonathan enjoys speaking and storytelling. Along with his significant other and his daughter, he shares his home with five cats and a standard poodle. |
