WLS Has Made Our Marriage Better Than Ever!

February 11, 2016

As a married couple, both my husband, Mike, and I had struggled with our weight for as long as I can remember. We tried just about everything you can think of from Slim-Fast to Atkins. We could get some pounds off, but when the “diet” was over, the pounds would return, and they always brought friends with them! Over the years, we gained and lost, lost and gained many, many pounds, but it was always a struggle. The struggle and never ending cycle of yo-yo dieting.

A few years ago, we decided that our weight loss struggles were affecting the quality of our lives, as well as our health. Since we lived in Southern California at the time, and had Kaiser Insurance, Mike asked to be referred to their Options program. This is the first step for any Kaiser member who is considering weight loss surgery. He was accepted into the program, and our journey began.

Will WLS Really Work for Us?

At first, I was against it. The main reason is that everyone we had ever known to that point had undergone the RNY procedure, and all but one had gained back their weight. We had heard about the VSG and Mike decided that was the option that would be best for him. We had no idea how this first step would change both of our lives.

At his seminar with Pacific Bariatrics, based in San Diego, we heard many success stories. Mike had his VSG surgery on 12/9/11, and over the course of about six months, he lost 100 pounds. He gained back ten on purpose because people thought he had cancer. Even though he looks good, and feels great, he is still overweight according to BMI charts.

After the seminar I attended with Mike, I decided I wanted to have the VSG weight loss surgery as well. However, my BMI was not high enough to qualify. So, when Mike had his consultation with Dr. Taller, I asked about self-pay options. He told me that Kaiser was not always following CDC protocol for bariatric surgery. Since I had some co-morbidities, he told me to ask again and appeal if I was not referred by my PCP. He also suggested a sleep test since even mild sleep apnea could qualify me. Well, it worked. My referral went through.  I had my surgery on 9/13/12 with Dr. Fedorka who works for Kaiser since Kaiser Fontana was longer using Pacific Bariatrics.  I lost 85 pounds in about eight months. My blood pressure is back to normal without meds, and I have much more energy now.

Secrets of Our Success

Since we are a two post-op VSG house, it is actually easier to deal with the lifestyle change that come with weight loss surgery. Pre-preparation and thinking ahead with our meals has been one of the secrets to staying on track.  Since we follow the same eating plan, I can cook the same thing for both of us. I cook full size recipes, and will even double some. Since Mike and I are teachers and we need to take our lunch. I pre-portion the correct amounts and freeze individual portions. This gives us a variety of lunch items, and can even help with dinner options when life gets busy. This is important because it is easy to hit a drive thru if you are not prepared. I also rely on low-carb and WLS food blogs for recipe ideas.

One of the big secrets to our overall success is that with rare exception, we still weigh and measure our food.

We use small plates for our meals to help our brain register that it is an adequate meal. Many on OH have stated that surgeons fix your stomach, not your brain. By using small dishes, we can trick our eyes and brain to see a full plate. If by chance either of us are still hungry after our pre-measured meal, we will usually eat more veggies.

Now that we are at a much healthier weight, we are both quite active. Mike took up running. Before surgery, he couldn’t even run five minutes on the treadmill. Now, he runs primarily half marathons, but has completed three full marathons. He also does 5K and 10K events occasionally. Mike is currently training for the Colfax half marathon coming up in the spring. He loves that he can usually complete a half marathon in just under two hours.

My physical activity of choice is figure skating. I am part of the ISI, which is a recreational league. It is primarily for exercise, but I also compete. The oldest competitor is 90, and I want to be like her when I grow up. The highlight of my competitive skating so far has been competing at the State Games of America last summer. I took first place in both of my events. This is not a competition you just sign up for; you have to have a top three finish in your state event.

Our Dreams Came True

Mike participated in the State Games of America because a 5K road race was a new event which meant pre-qualifying wasn’t required. We headed to Nebraska and enjoyed a sport event together. Marching into the stadium together as athletes was absolutely amazing. This would not have been possible without our life-changing surgery, and following the plan. This was a dream come true for both of us.

Our WLS Journeys Haven't Been Rainbows and Unicorns

While life is great, this journey has not been all “rainbows and unicorns,” there have been struggles. It is easy to fall back into old habits.

This became apparent when we sold our home in California to move to Colorado. Because we needed to find a home, with the real estate market hot, stress was the word of the day for many days. We needed to stay with our son while we searched for a place to live. He lived in a studio apartment with a tiny kitchen. Cooking was hard, so we fell into eating out for most of our meals. We both gained a few pounds outside of our comfort zone, and getting it back off is not as easy as losing it right after surgery. Now that we have a home, and my kitchen is almost set up, it is getting easier to get back to our normal.

WLS Brought Us Closer

We have both read about couples who drift apart after surgery, but we have grown closer. We have been married a long time, 31 years, so we don’t fit the mold of the typical WLS couple. We understand that pursuing our own interests is important, but we also do things together. We both like to ski (both downhill and cross country), snowshoe, and ballroom dance. Balance is important in any relationship, but with such major like changes as WLS requires, it is even more important.

We both like to offer encouragement to others who are working on leading a healthier lifestyle. We find that it doesn’t matter if it is someone who wants, or has had WLS, runners, skaters, or even our students, sometimes just offering a positive word can help someone keep reaching for their goals. It also helps us reach for ours.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR I am Linda B on the OH and have been participating since early 2012. A member post came up in search results while I was searching for unflavored protein powder. My husband was a new post-op with a VSG, so getting ideas for adding protein was important to me. I was also working on getting a VSG myself, so my plan was to start living the lifestyle with my husband ahead of time. This turned out to be a good thing. Since my VSG three years ago, I have lost 85 pounds and am healthier than I have been my whole adult life. Figure skating is my exercise of choice, and I compete about 4-5 times a year.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR My name on OH is Mike B, I have been participating on OH since early 2012. I found the site through my wife, Linda B. She was searching for unflavored protein powder when the site came up in the search. I signed up and have found it to be very helpful. I am four years out from VSG surgery and have no regrets. I lost 100 pounds, but gained back 10 on purpose. My exercise of choice is running, I love it, but since a foot injury a year ago, I have been limited to short distances. I am a special education teacher and one of my biggest struggles is to not cave into temptations ever present in the teacher’s lounge.

---