Why I Can’t Stop Eating
October 3, 2022Why I Can't Stop Eating: Have you ever said any of the following statements in the process of trying to lose weight:
I want to cut back (or quit) consuming so much sugar (or simple carbs, junk food, or fast food), but I haven’t been able to do so. Even when I’ve quit for a while, I always come back to eating these things.
Sometimes I just crave sugar/simple carbs/junk food/fast food and can’t quit obsessing about it until I give in.
It’s so weird… when I quit eating sugar completely, the cravings go away, and I don’t think about sweets so often.
I used to love walking/riding my bike/riding my horse/playing ___ sport/exercising. But since I’ve put on so much weight, I just can’t do it.
I’d love to go to my kids’ plays/games/recitals, but it’s so hard for me to get anywhere these days because of my weight.
When I think about it, I’m shocked at how much time I spend eating, thinking about food, reading recipes, watching the food network, and talking about food and weight.
My spouse is fed up with hearing that I’m going to do something to lose weight and not following through. I know he’s worried about my health and is afraid that if I don’t lose weight, he’ll lose me. This is causing a real strain on our relationship.
I often say I’m going to have reasonable portions of food, and somehow end up eating a lot more than I intended to.
I struggle with how horrible I feel for the first several days after I quit eating sugar. I feel weak and shaky. I have a headache and I am so irritable!
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but there are times I’m glad my partner goes to bed before me. I just want some time alone with the foods I love.
The doctor told me I absolutely need to lose weight, or my diabetes/heart problems/blood pressure/cholesterol/other medical problem(s) are going to lead to an early death. I’ve tried to cut back on my food intake, but I always seem to go back to my negative habits.
Why can’t I stop eating?!
The answer to this question may be, “You can’t stop eating because you’re struggling with the disease of addiction.”
The statements listed above are some of the criteria professionals use to diagnose substance use disorders (the word “addiction” is not currently used in the manual most health care professionals use today). However, addiction is exactly what these statements are describing. Some useful definitions of addiction include:
“Addiction is the continued repetition of a behavior despite adverse consequences.”
“Addiction is “a repetitive habit pattern that increases the risk of disease and/or associated personal and social problems, often experienced subjectively as ‘loss of control.’”
“Addiction is an illness of the mind and body that is chronic, progressive, and fatal if left untreated.”
Tennie McCarty, author of Shades of Hope, a book about food addiction, says, “If you can’t take it or leave it, you’re probably addicted to it.” Many people struggling to lose weight and keep it off can relate to that! Knowingly or unknowingly, many people are simultaneously dealing with two chronic, potentially fatal diseases: the disease of obesity and the disease of addiction.
Like the disease of obesity, the disease of addiction affects every area of a person’s life. And, both the disease of obesity and the disease of addiction leave a person feeling out of control and powerless.
Successful Management
The good news about both obesity and addiction is that they can both be successfully managed… with effort, persistence, and discipline. To lose weight and maintain weight loss, a person has to be willing to put forth effort to make healthy food choices, to refrain from unhealthy foods, and to say “no” … to fast food, treats in the break room, and snacks at the ball field. Persistence means putting forth effort every day, a day at a time, and not giving in to “the old habits.” Being willing to say “no” to yourself when you think you have “earned” a treat or “deserve” a sugary confection requires self-discipline. Consistent effort, persistence and discipline prove to be quite challenging for most people. A healthy support system is critical to help people learn to live in recovery from chronic diseases. A willingness to learn about the diseases of addiction and obesity will make the recovery process easier. For both diseases, there is usually unresolved emotional pain that needs to be explored.
Oprah Winfrey has been open about her addiction to food. “My drug of choice is food,” she said. “I use food for the same reasons an addict uses drugs: to comfort, to soothe, to ease stress.” Many people trying to lose weight give up on trying to eat healthy when they feel stress. They attempt to push unpleasant emotions aside, seek relief from upsetting events, and find temporary relief from stress through the consumption of “comfort foods.”
“Addictions are always an attempt to escape from stress. The more stressed people are, the more addictively they are going to behave,” says Gabor Mate, a physician and international addiction expert. Best-selling author Karen Salmansohn says, “Food can distract you from your pain. But food cannot take away your pain. In fact, overeating the wrong foods can create more pain.”
Internal Pain
Most of us live pretty stress-filled lives. A majority of us also carry some internal pain, maybe related to childhood events or perhaps associated with present-day circumstances. We all seek distractions from stress and pain. Some people get caught in the mind-body disease of addiction, not knowing how to deal with stress and emotional pain in healthy ways. Vera Tarman, author of Food Junkies, informs us, “The brain chemistry that drives the addict to seek pleasure beyond the point of satiety is similar, whether the user favors Jack Daniels or Jack-in-the-Box.” In other words, addiction is the same for people who overeat or who drink too much. In fact, addiction is like an umbrella. The fabric of the umbrella represents the disease of addiction, and each spoke of the umbrella represents a possible addictive substance or behavior. One spoke may represent alcohol, another food, another shopping, another gambling, another video gaming, another pornography, and so on. The handle of the umbrella represents emotional pain the person carries – and holds on to. Recovery from addiction requires abstinence from the substance or behavior and the healing of internal pain.
If you can’t stop eating, talk to a professional who understands addiction. Have an evaluation to see if you may be battling two chronic diseases: the disease of obesity and the disease of addiction. Both diseases can be managed. You will need information, support, education, and a strong desire to be physically and emotionally healthy. Recovery from obesity and addiction requires a willingness to look deep within and to talk about emotional pain. Therapy is recommended, as are support groups.
Get the help and support you need so you can experience the freedom of feeling as though you “can’t stop eating.” Treat obesity and addiction at the same time and learn to start living a full and healthy lifestyle. It’s hard work, but so worth it!
Connie Stapleton, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist
 | ABOUT THE AUTHOR Connie Stapleton, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with nearly two decades of experience in the field of bariatric medicine. Dr. Stapleton is the author of three books, is a national and international speaker, and appears as the bariatric psychologist on three national television programs. Read more articles by Connie Stapleton! |
