What Causes Poor Body Image For Teens?

There are a number of ways to help your child develop a healthy body image. With a healthy body image, a child is less likely to turn to surgery to feel beautiful or good enough.

Tips for parents include:

1. Try to stay away from critical parenting. Parents, do not focus on your kid’s looks. Take interest in what they do, and their gifts instead. When they need reassurance about the way they look, tell them they are beautiful to you in all ways (if they aren’t, look deeper).

2. If your child complains that kids make fun of them, help your children think of comebacks. If the child is under the age of seven, talk to the parents or your child’s teacher. If your relatives make fun of your child due to some flaw, confront the relative in private and tell them how it is hurting your child. I have a patient who is obese and her memory of when her weight problem started was in the 5th grade. When in a physical education class, two boys told her she was the fattest girl in the school. The girl was ten pounds overweight, but she did get fatter after hearing that. Children are sensitive to criticism.

3. Be aware of changes in puberty with your child. This is a time they compare themselves to others, including media. Some kids develop earlier than others, which can be embarrassing if you have no one to talk to. Make yourself available to talk and share your feelings and flaws during this time. Your child will appreciate it.

4. Hurtful teasing from parents, cousins, aunts, or teachers all influence how teens feel about themselves (forever).

Tips for a child’s body image

(For tweens and teens)

You are not born with a body image; you learn it from significant people in your life. Some people think they need to change how they look or act to feel good about themselves. But actually all you need to do is change the way you see your body and how you think about yourself.

1. The first thing to do is recognize that your body is your own, no matter what shape, size, or color it comes in. If you’re very worried about your weight or size, check with your doctor to verify that things are OK. But it’s no one’s business but your own what your body is like, the only thing you know for sure is that it will change as you go through puberty.

2. Think about which aspects of your appearance you can realistically change and which you can’t. Everyone (even the most perfect-seeming celeb) has things about themselves that they can’t change and need to accept –like their height or their parents. Changing how you act is much more powerful than changing how you look.

3. If there are things about yourself that you want to change and can (such as how fit you are or your skin care), do this by making goals for yourself. For example, if you want to get fit, make a plan to exercise every day and eat nutritious foods. Then keep track of your progress until you reach your goal. If you don’t like the pimples on your skin, ask your parents if you can go to the doctor to get appropriate medicine for your skin to be clear. Meeting a challenge you set for yourself is a great way to boost self-esteem!

4. Don’t ever talk bad about yourself and don’t let others talk bad about themselves when they are with you. Try building your self-esteem by giving yourself three compliments every day. It can be anything from the way you listened to your friend’s problems, your ability to tutor a friend in math, or your keen sense
of humor. By focusing on the good things you do and the positive aspects of your life, you can change how you feel about you. Parents are good about telling you not to drink or smoke. Try telling them not to criticize themselves in front of you. Explain to them that when you hear them berating their looks (or someone else’s), you have a tendency to think that looks matter a lot to them and, therefore you will most likely focus on your looks too. Remind them that this begins to happen at the age of three for most children.

Everyone I know has flaws. It is not our visible flaws that cause us misery, but our perception of our flaws that depress or make us feel badly about ourselves. Change what you can with diet, exercise, and healthy living. If mom or dad suggests a breast augmentation or a rhinoplasty for your 16th birthday, remind them that putting their money into a college fund for you will give them a better return for their money (also suggest counseling for your parent’s issues with looks). You should never undergo cosmetic plastic surgery (unless it is a corrective type for an illness, accident, or birth defect) until you are ready to accept the consequences if it doesn’t turn out to look the way you had imagined. That’s tough to do if you are under the age of eighteen.

Mary Jo Rapini, LPC is on the Fox channel every Thursday morning from 9 to 10 a.m. on the “Mind, Body, and Soul with Mary Jo” segment. For more information visit: www.maryjorapini.com.