Surgery Is Forever-Ever?

March 18, 2013

Bariatric Foodie writer Nikki Massie defines the period between being a new and long-term post-op as "bariatric adolescence" and says it comes complete with rebellion. How do you stay the course during this tricky post-op developmental stage? Read what she has to say and join the conversation!

Bariatric adolescence. I don’t think that’s a real term but it’s what I call that strange period of time when you are no longer shiny and new in this process but are also not yet a long-term post-op.

Several significant things are happening in this time. For many, your weight loss has slowed significantly. The stresses of life can begin to creep back in. This is the time when little holes start appearing in the stories you’ve told yourself up to this point.

I know when I hit that stage, I got a bad case of the “why for’s.” When you are losing weight almost effortlessly (or at least consistently) it’s easy to stay motivated to exercise and eat right and take your vitamins and drink your water.

But what about when the scale stops? And won’t budge no matter what you do! What story do you tell yourself about those things that were so easy to do before?

It’s a strange thing, isn’t it? Because just a few weeks ago working out was great and energizing and fun! But now maybe it’s cumbersome and a time drain and what’s the point if the scale isn’t going to move anyway?

And just a few weeks ago starchy carbs and junk food had no power over you. But now maybe you’re scared and unsure of yourself and you just need something in your life that will make you feel good. Cookies used to make you feel good and, besides, if the scale isn’t going to move — or, worse, if you are doomed to regain — what’s the harm in one little cookie?

See how the story begins to change? I know some of you are shaking your head going, “No, never. Not me!” And maybe not you. But don’t judge! Many post-ops are compliant because they’ve told themselves the “fear of failure” story. You must do everything perfectly and then this has to work. But if you don’t do everything perfectly, you will fail.  For those people, it is very confusing when you do everything right and you still get nowhere.

In my opinion (and this is just an opinion), eventually your story about your weight loss surgery and life has to change. The scale will eventually stop moving downward (and it’s supposed to!). We get so engrossed in the story of being on a mission to lose weight that many of us don’t stop to think about the next story we’ll live — what comes after you lose the weight?

For me, this was a big problem. The scale stopped moving and I wasn’t ready to leave my weight loss story behind. So I panicked. And regained to recreate the need to re-lose (and get that validation from doing so). It is my theory that this refusal to shift stories is behind a lot of the self-sabotage post-ops do.

But somewhere along the line my perspective — my story — changed. I think it was when I was at my post-op high weight of 207-ish and I looked at a photo of myself at my low weight, 172. I thought I was still so big!  But truth was I was actually pretty lean. I wore a size 6 (yeah, I don’t get that either) and I was muscular and fit. I began to think, “what if I’d just been happy where I was?” And then it became apparent to me what the story is after the weight loss.

These days I comply with my weight-loss surgery plan not to lose weight or work toward something. I do so to maintain what I’ve already worked for. Make no mistake, I still see room for improvement, but I know that I have to at least do the bare minimum if I want to stay where I am — healthy, strong and a lot smaller than I was before surgery.

I don’t want to make it sound as if this is the story of all bariatric adolescents. It’s not. But for those of you who are struggling with your story, take heart. It’s happened before, it will happen again, to many post-ops. You are not alone. We’re all sort of like guppies in a pond, splashing around trying to figure where to go from here.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Nikki Massie is the author of Bariatric Foodie, a website and online community that encourages weight loss surgery patients to “play with their food.” She is the author of three books: The Bariatric Foodie Guide to Perfect Protein Shakes, The Bariatric Foodie Holiday Survival Guide and The Bariatric Foodie Breakfast Book. Nikki lives Maryland with her boyfriend, 2 daughters, adorable Basset Hound & slightly high-maintenance black cat. Read more articles by Nikki!

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