5 Ways to Stay Healthy Through Grief and Loss

July 29, 2014

A month ago my dog passed away. Chaz had been in my life for over eight years after we got him from a rescue when he was five. Although he was an older dog and I knew eventually it would happen, the sudden loss of him in my life was devastating.

After a personal loss two years ago, Chaz became the center of my life and best friend and after he passed away, I wrote a memorial article about him on my blog. It talked about all of the wonderful things he taught me throughout our time together and when the staff at ObesityHelp saw that post they suggested I write an article about staying healthy during a time of grief. I wanted to write the article but meanwhile had no idea how to do it because I hardly felt like an expert on what to do in a time of personal sadness. So rather than ‘be the expert’, I thought I’d write something more personal and instead, just share with you the strategies I used (and continue to use) to work through my grief in the best way I know how.

I think grief is a one of the few truly universal emotions.

Many people can go through life without experiencing complete moments of unadulterated joy or anger or excitement because most of us have a hard time surrendering to those feelings. Grief is different. Whether it comes from the death of a loved one, the loss of a pet, the ending of a marriage or the loss of anything that held a deep place in your heart, when it comes upon us, grief overtakes our heart.

Not only does it affect our emotions, but it also impacts our behaviors in daily life and can have a huge impact on our physical health. It can lead to changes in eating, exercise and sleep and if it persists long enough chronic grief, can lead to increased levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) which has huge ramifications for body weight and many of our bodily functions. Even though I’m someone who is very conscious of these things normally, during my deepest states of grief, I fell victim to these feelings as well. I either craved comfort foods or I lost my appetite entirely, exercise lost its appeal and the desire to sleep trumped all other wants.

I’ve gone through two major periods on grief in my life and during the first time I had few coping skills and had to blindly find my way. But this more recent time, after my dog passed away, I was able to draw on the strategies I had learned the first time and could implement them. Those are the strategies that I want to share with you.

5 Ways to Stay Healthy Through Grief

1. Experience the grief

It’s common for people to try and distract themselves when they are very sad. They fill their days with hobbies, work, general busy work and anything that will distract them from feeling. I did this initially too, but it only prolonged my grief. Eventually, it needs to come out. One of the greatest tools I used was to allow myself to be sad. If I needed to cry, I did that. If I needed to pull my car over to the side of the road and just close my eyes and let the tears come, I did. Grief can’t be ignored. It will just wait for you until you are ready to experience it, and then eventually, naturally over time, it will lessen and retreat.

2. Bolster yourself with support

During periods of grief, there are times you need to be alone but also times where having social connections will be very important. Pick people who know you well and will give you the space and support you need, when you need it. If you aren’t comfortable going to people in your life for support, look into finding other sources of support, whether it’s a coach, therapist or social worker, to talk to and help you through this time.

3.  Keep your body moving

Exercise is a good thing and moving your body will produce feel-good endorphins and often help clear your mind. While all of these are great things, it’s especially important in extreme times of stress to pay close attention to how your body feels. Even if you don’t consciously feel stressed, you may find that during your workouts your body feels less strong, has reduced energy or recovers more slowly from exercise. If you are noticing these things, take it back a notch until you feel better. This might mean lifting lighter weights or doing lower impact activities like walking or swimming in the meantime. If you find yourself especially sore after a workout, take a break. When under stress the body is at a much greater risk of injury so don’t persist if you feel physical pain or extreme fatigue. Move your body regularly, but make sure not to overdo it and listen carefully to its messages.

4. Focus on foods that heal

When we are feeling sad we crave comfort foods and will instinctively gravitate to foods with high levels of sugars and fat. While they may make us feel better temporarily, in the longer term they will wreck havoc on blood sugar, body composition, and mood. Instead, focus on foods that will provide the same comfort without the downfalls. Identify the flavors and textures you crave and then find their healthier counterparts. For example, if you like mashed potatoes opt for mashed cauliflower instead. Go for air-popped popcorn over potato chips, plain greek yogurt with frozen berries over ice cream and oatmeal with almonds and cinnamon over muffins. By focusing on foods that provide nourishment as well as comfort, you will help heal your body and feel good while managing to stay on the healthy course you were on prior to your grief.

5.  Be kind to yourself

More than anything, remember that this time will pass and the moments of sadness will get shorter and further apart. In the meantime, give your body, your mind and your heart the good fuel it needs to get better, whether that’s rest, movement, tears or comfort. Cut yourself some slack and be kind to yourself.

featured photo credit: Lee Davenport cc

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Rachel Girardi, MsC graduated with a Masters in Psychology from the University of Western Ontario in 2007. Her philosophy is that fitness, nutrition and lifestyle cannot be looked at in isolation. She combines her love of fitness and good food to help her clients improve their health and the quality of their lives. Her main goal is to figure out how to fit “healthy” into your life while still letting you live it. Read more articles by Rachel!

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