Obesity Treatment and a Support Team: Who’s On and Who’s Off?
April 1, 2020Obesity is a chronic and complex disease. Just as other health conditions, it is important that every bariatric surery patient has and utilizes a strong support system as part of their obesity treatment. However, many patients come to my office believing “ I should be able to do this by myself.” I often ask them “would you try to manage any other serious and chronic health condition alone?“ The answer of course is no.
Obesity treatment is no different. Social support must be part of your on-going treatment plan. In fact, evidence based research shows us that you are more likely to have success with your bariatric surgery if you have and use a strong support system. In this article, I want to help you assess the roles on your team, who should be on, who should be off and how to use your team in effective ways.
Obesity Treatment and Assembling a Support Team
Take a few minutes to mentally think about or actually write down who is on your support team. It is important to remember that YOU play an important role on your team because you are in charge of assembling the team and then using it when needed. You are the Manger. As an obesity medicine provider for 16 years, I often recommend the following roles be part of your support network:
1. Coach
A person or group of people who you rely on to provide technical expertise and professional training on nutrition, exercise and behavioral change. Successful obesity treatment involves many coaches including your primary care physician, obesity medicine physician, bariatric surgeon, registered dietician, exercise physiologist and behaviorist.
2. Teammate
A person/people who share similar weight loss and fitness goals as you. Many times this is a fellow bariatric surgery patient. This is often the most important role of your support team. My patients have taught me through the years just how important it is to surround yourself with “people who get it” on a regular basis. Attend support groups. Seek out social support on-line via social media sites or organizations specializing in obesity treatment. Ask if your office offers a patient mentor program.
3. Cheerleader
A person/people who offers honest, meaningful, non-judgmental words of encouragement. Treating and managing the disease of obesity is challenging. You will get discouraged. It is important to have a family member or friend who can celebrate your success with you and encourage you when you are discouraged.
4. Umpire
A person who offers constructive feedback and helps you to think through problems and come up with your own solutions. This is often the hardest role to fill. It's hard to reach out and ask for accountability. Often, patients will ask a “ teammate” to also be their “ umpire”. It's easier to receive accountability from “ someone who gets it”. However, the food journal and/or scale can fill the umpire role on your team as well.
Let’s take a peek back at the support team you noted, do you have all the above roles represented? If not, what can you do to reach out and add more members to your team?
You are in charge of assembling your team. You decide who is on the team. You are the Manger.
As the Manager of your support team, it is also your role to decide who is off the team. Unhelpful people can hinder your weight loss surgery progress. Patients have shared with me they often find well meaningful people jump on to their team without being invited. Two roles that need to be “cut” from your team are as follows:
The Food Pusher
Food Pushers are NOT helpful. Can I get an Amen? Although most food pushers are simply trying to be polite or show love with food, they can hinder your weight loss surgery goals. The best way to respond to the food pusher in your life is with a kind but assertive “No thank you.” Most likely, the food pusher will continue to push after your first “No thank you.“ Stay the course and simply keep repeating “ No thank you.” Two simple words. You do not need to explain your no. You just need to kindly keep repeating it. Eventually the food pusher will run out of things to say and move on to offering their food to someone else.
The Food Police
This person jumps on your team without an invitation as well. And like the food pusher, their intentions are well meaning. They truly believe asking “Are you really going to eat that cookie” is going to help you stay on your plan. Be honest though, what actually happens when you encounter the food police in your life? It most likely triggers “ I'll show you eating!” You not only eat the cookie but go on to have several more. But who are you really showing? Who are you hurting? “I’ll show you eating“ only hurts you.
The best way to respond to the food police in your life is helping them understand they are not helping. Take the time to communicate something like this: “Susie, I am thankful you want to help me become healthier but policing my food is not helpful. So please, no longer say anything about what is on my plate but rather i would love if you sent me a note of encouragement when i need it.”
Once your support team is assembled, your next step is to actually USE your team. Many patients can say they have a strong support system. However when asked if they are using their support system they often say no. A support system only works if you use it. I've had the honor of getting to know many patients and their support people. I often hear from patients “Well, my family should just know bringing chocolate cake home isn't helpful” or “my friends should just know I need regular encouragement.. I will often her from family members and friends, “I wish my loved one would tell me how I can be more supportive.''
This is your first step in USING your team. Communicate your needs. Your team members cannot read your mind as much as you wish they could. Tell your family and friends that you would appreciate their help, and let them know specifically how they can help you.
For example, you might ask your partner to walk with you and your best friend to be there when you need to vent. Finally, make sure you take time to thank your support team for their help and encouragement.
Learn More on Support Management
Treating and managing the disease of obesity can be challenging. Make sure you find the right kind support team to cheer you on! To learn more about obesity management support keep utilizing the support groups offered at your bariatric surgeon's office and Obesityhelp.com. You can also seek on-going social support via my social media sites.
I am honored to be part of your on-going support team.
 | ABOUT THE AUTHOR Lora Grabow, LMSW is a professional counselor and coach who has spent two decades working specifically with weight loss clients in one-on-one therapy and group workshops. Today, she also coaches clients in her online community and in her online course, Foundations in Headwork for Healthy Weight Loss. She helps all her clients tackle the barriers that have kept them from making change permanent and keeping the weight off for good. Read more articles by Lora! |
