It is Okay to Fail – Just Get Back Up to Succeed
September 16, 2015I had Lap-Band weight loss surgery in 2009. Before I had surgery, I was instructed on how the fills were done, what foods choices were best and what foods to avoid, and I was warned that I could gain all my weight back if I didn't change my lifestyle. It was lots of information to absorb but I knew it was important for me to succeed as a post-op.
Immediately after I had my surgery, my band was so full that I lost 100 pounds. Unfortunately, I learned early on how to eat around my tight band fill and didn't change my eating habits. I had issues with my band and ended up having to unfill it. While my band wasn't filled, I became pregnant. After the baby was born, I had regained all my weight back. I felt like such a failure.
Weight regain was a huge wake-up call
Having gained all my weight back was a huge wake-up call. I was NOT going to give up and I was NOT going to fail again. After two years being unfilled, I was motivated and ready to get back on track by getting a fill.
I shared with the bariatric surgeon my concerns from my first fill but he didn't listen to me and barely filled my band. I felt very little restriction from this fill. I wasn't willing to accept a fill from a surgeon that didn't listen to me and paid no attention to my concerns so I went to a new bariatric surgeon.
My new surgeon listened to my concerns from my first fill after I had surgery and feeling no restriction from my second fill. He took an ultrasound of my stomach and saw that saline had become stuck in the port tube. Immediately, he unfilled me and used different imaging machines to make sure everything was done correctly. From the yo-yo experience with my band, fills and complication, he encouraged me to join a support group or see a psychologist. After allowing my band and tube to heal, I was able to get my band filled again.
My second chance at WLS success
With this second chance I'd been given with this new and correct fill, I was more determined than ever to make the most of it. I was reluctant to go to a support group because I was embarrassed. I knew I needed support so I went to a support group and it has helped. I feel so much relief and am stronger now that I've accepted that I have a problem with food and I'm not alone with this issue.
My weight loss surgery journey has had some speed bumps and wasn't what some people might think was smooth sailing. So why am I sharing my story? One of the valuable things I've learned from my journey is that it is easy to get off track and break the rules by returning to old habits. I now know that I will harm myself by taking just a taste of junk food that lasts for a short period of time versus staying strong and being on track with my weight loss goal. It’s so not worth it!!
"Head hunger will happen but it is how I handle those urges is what matters most. It’s okay to feel weak, it’s okay to eat “normal” people food, but it’s not okay to break the rules and hurt yourself." ~ Ashleigh Gleeson
Another thing I've learned is that I am my own advocate for my health care. If you have questions and concerns about your health and don't get the answers you want, either be persistent until your doctor answers them or move on to another doctor. My original surgeon didn’t take the necessary steps to make sure my fills were safe and effective, which made it easier for me to consume bad foods and experience complications.
Always get back up!
Remember the reasons why you chose to have weight loss surgery. You and/or your insurance company paid thousands of dollars to help you fix your life and get healthy. Don’t be afraid to fail, that’s how we all learn, don’t be afraid that you will never eat real food again, don’t be afraid. It’s a learning process, the Lap-Band (or any weight loss surgery procedure) is a tool to help with weight loss, but you must get focused mentally and change your habits if you want it to work. There are going to ups and downs, temptations and moments of weakness. But you're stronger than that. If you regain, you can lose it again. It’s okay to fail, just always remember to get back up. ALWAYS GET BACK UP!
Photo credit: Chris Potter cc
 | ABOUT THE AUTHOR Ashleigh Gleeson had Lap-Band weight loss surgery in September 2009. She lost 100 pounds but shares it has been a journey of yo-yo'ing due to the inconsistency of band adjustments. Ashleigh is a full-time college student, graduating in the Spring of 2016, a mother of two children, the wife of a mechanic, and a photographer. From Ashleigh’s experience with her surgery, her passion is to support others in every aspect she can.Read more articles by Ashleigh! |
