Be SMART & Avoid Perfectionism In Your Nutrition After Bariatric Surgery
February 23, 2018Weight loss surgery promises many things. Perfection, however, is not one of the promises. Instead, it is an idea that many patients get in their head and strive for. Not intentionally, but as a way to prove to the world that they are successful and that they are not their weight.
Perfectionism in Your Nutrition After Bariatric Surgery
I can’t tell you how many times a patient has told me that they CAN’T gain weight, not for themselves, but because of what others might say. Frequently, I also see patients who tell me that they almost canceled their appointment because essentially they weren’t perfect and were afraid of coming into the office.
It is important to follow the bariatric meal plan prescribed by your surgeon and dietitian, but it is also important to remember that no one is perfect and one mistake or choice does not define you or your success with surgery.
As healthcare providers, we are always looking for ways to help our patients be more successful. Not perfect, successful. Unfortunately, sometimes it can come across as criticism or the perception that the only way a patient can be successful is if they are perfect.
Eight years ago, you could find me telling a patient who had eaten that potato chips that they really needed to work on snacking and snack choices. That’s not real life, though. Real life is stress eating, celebratory eating and eating something because it sounds good. Those instances are not included in a bariatric meal plan, but meal plans do not account for every instance. The goal is happiness and health and, of course, weight loss doesn’t hurt, either.
Success After Bariatric Surgery is Not About Perfection
It is acknowledging that imperfection is real life and that you have made the bravest and hardest choice to have surgery and give yourself a happy and healthy life. That means knowing that the cupcake is not the best choice, but also knowing that it is an isolated incident and it is not something that you are going to do every day.
It means planning the rest of your day around that allowance and acknowledging that every once in a while, it is okay to eat off plan. But if every once in a while becomes every day or every meal, then things need to change. If at any time you are not happy and you are not healthy due to choices you’ve made, you’re not a failure and you don’t need to give up.
You need a plan. Not only that, but you need the support of your program. That’s why we are here and it’s also why we are so adamant that our patients follow up. Having that relationship with your dietitian and provider can without a doubt make or break someone’s success.
So thinking back to eight years ago. My expectations as a dietitian were not realistic. How often are your expectations of yourself not realistic? These days, I am asking questions to better understand the reasoning behind those potato chips, and it’s important that as a patient, you think about your triggers whether they be foods or situations. Potato chips don’t have to be bad. Foods, in general, do not need to be bad or good. Thinking that eating a potato chip is bad leads to guilt, feelings, and fears of failing and a whole host of negative emotions that can trigger backsliding both mentally and behaviorally. Let’s think instead, about goal setting, planning, and making intentional choices.
Setting SMART Goals Rather Than Being Perfect
The all-or-nothing mindset is certainly one that will only lead to disappointment. Setting SMART goals can help overcome this. SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely. Choosing a goal that is easily attainable and pairing with one more difficult is helpful so that the success is always there. We don’t expect our spouse, children, friends, or co-workers to be perfect, so why put the weight of the world on your own shoulders?
That pesky potato chip does not define success. It shows that a human ate a food. That food is not on a bariatric meal plan, but does that mean that the person eating the chip is a failure? Of course not! It means that that person made a poor food choice.
Rather than throwing up your hands and wailing that you’ve failed, come up with a plan.
This is where your SMART goals come in to play. Digging deeper, let’s think about what triggered the snack. Was it stress? Boredom? What can you do to prevent getting that bag of potato chips? Perhaps having other options available could be the first step. Remember, one choice DOES NOT DEFINE YOU OR YOUR SUCCESS. It is not realistic for most people to just say “I’m going to stop snacking” (and if this is you and you can do it, kudos!). But for the rest of us, we need a plan. SMART goals help break things down into manageable, measurable pieces.
Think About a Plan
Once you have your goals, think about a plan. What will you do when put in a similar situation. How will you make the best choice? If you do backslide, how will stay on track? Allow yourself to be human and acknowledge that sometimes the best choice is the “least bad”. Maybe you still had those chips, but you had less than you normally would. Congratulations! You made a change. One change, one decision that can lead to progress. Perhaps they were baked chips this time. That’s great that you resisted your favorite. Next time, you could have some cheese crisps stocked so that when the craving for something crunchy and salty comes knocking, you are prepared. From there, start thinking about the trigger for something crunchy and salty.
Sometimes a lapse may occur. A choice that was not on plan, but that was an isolated incident. Then there are relapses. Taking that lapse and saying “well, I messed up once, I’m a failure.” A relapse is going back to a previous behavior and making it a habit. Lapses are okay and will happen to the best of us. Being intentional about your choices, whether they are on plan or off can help lift the veil of failure and replace it with acceptance, and preventing a relapse.
Rather than beating up yourself, consider thinking of it as "Yes, I chose to have a piece of candy. No, it is not healthy, but I:
- Got all my protein in today
- Logged that candy and made sure that there was a place for it in my plan today
- Completed my exercise for the day
- Acknowledged that I made a conscious decision to have that candy
- Understand that I’m not going to have candy every day."
Think about why you had surgery. What was the motivation behind making this life choice? Have you gotten everything out of surgery that you wanted? If not, what can help to make it? How do you define your own weight loss surgery success?
The goal of bariatric surgery is health and happiness. If you are healthy and happy, then you are the best version of yourself and that is better than being perfect.
 | ABOUT THE AUTHOR Jenny Johnston MA, RD, CD counsels at Community Health Network for patient pre- and post-bariatric surgery to prepare them for the lifestyle changes necessary for successful, healthy weight loss. She developed and runs "Back on Track" program for patients who are struggling with weight regain or reverting to old habits. She also leads support groups for both general and Back on Track patientsand develops educational materials for patients both pre- and post-operatively. |
