Be Free

I felt dead in my body, emotionless in my mind.
Like I had nothing worth leaving behind.
My body was a prison, my life was a joke.
I lived by the promise of death,
told myself “tomorrow, tomorrow I’ll take my last breath.”

Afraid of death? No.
Fear was something I didn’t know.
Battered and tortured my mind was so,
thoughts were blocked and no dreams could flow.
Happiness and joy seemed liked fairy tales,
one more thing I’d never get to tell.
My body was my living breathing hell.

Peoples stares and glares stabbed me, but I never bled.
My body constantly begged to be fed,
no matter how much food it got,
it had more hard lessons it believed I should be taught.
“You’d be so pretty if you were thin!”
Something I never want to hear again.

No compassion, no respect,
made me feel things I will never forget.
“People stare at freakish things.” I would say
when people stared at me and never turned away.
Longing for understanding, I pleaded with my eyes,
only to be treated as an object people despised.

You could never tell how lonely I felt
I perfected the art of painting a smile
and let myself laugh once in a while.
My body was my living breathing hell,
and in clear words I may never be able to tell,
how I fell deeper and deeper into that well
with nothing but a thread and a small light to tell
that there might possibly be an end to this spell.

No matter my pain I kept on breathing.
No matter my pain I had to keep eating
No matter my pain my heart kept beating.
No matter my pain my compassion grew,
to understand others and what they’ve gone through.
No matter my pain my loved always bloomed,
and I shared with anyone no matter whom.
No matter my pain I still knew
that my life didn’t need to end so soon.