A Pictorial: Things Fat Girls don’t Do!
December 6, 2012A Pictorial: Things Fat Girls don't Do!
by OH Member Kirmy
A fat girl doesn't...feel good in their own skin. The entire world of print media, fashion and TV tells us exactly not to do that. I sadly listened. I was a ball of self loathing and food was my drug. It failed to nurture me. My smile never reached my eyes.
...well only until I discovered the Duodenal Switch and moved heaven and earth to have it done. Then...
My non-verbal communication skills said it all. Why should I spend my life in a cycle of dieting and self-loathing and failure again and again. I plainly was not winning. Now I can shake my flat almost non-existent arse at the world and say "health here I am". Before I was living in a loop of pain and as a result inactivity. Now, I travel the world for a job, climb mountains, swim in seas, frolic and love without boundaries (well except the ones the restraining order set).
But I remember the pain. I will never stop being the fat girl. I love her still and hope she always casts her shadow in my life. Never forget who you are and where you came from!
I see her in the mirror now and I like 40 year old me a lot more than 25 year old me. (I know I'm a little Myra Hindley in this pic...I was shooting for Zen but never mind).
Fat girls can't wear horizontal stripes right? WRONG! As a size 8 I can wear a bin bag with the right belt. A damn site better than my size 30 dress! This would have boggled my brain 3 years ago. I was still trying to find a layering system that didn't cling to my back boobs. Now I love clothes and have no fear of the mirror. You could say I'm a vain self obsessed arse and you wouldn't be too far off the mark. Meh...I yam what I yam!
And fat girls don't get full back cover up tattoos...except when we do. A work in progress much like myself. Before I had to fish my bra out of the skin on my back to undo it. Now I can use my flat back as a canvas. Only another 10 painful sittings before I'm done. I always wanted to get a big back job like the ink monkey I am. I would never have been able to before my DS due to my sheer size. The stretch marks obscured most of the areas around my ribs. Now you cannot really see them. One thing I got really lucky with...the front...ohhh not so much 🙁
We don't take sideways pictures because we are trying to hide the shape of our bodies. Hell I used to try to turn into a chameleon and blend in with the throw rug. Now I am dazzled still by the fact that there is nothing in front or behind knocking over coffee tables and restaurant chairs.
We certainly don't get funky short hair cuts! Well I do! Before I pretty much used my hair as a shield to hide behind. My face was so round and every time I looked in the mirror I saw chins and chins. I wanted to have short choppy hair I could tousle and live easily with but doing that would pretty much make me naked from the neck up. Now I grow it, cut it, dye it, do what any other woman does when she is bored with her "look". I love that I can do this (Penfold the Axis of Evil for those who remember him, always photo bombing).
Fat girls do not wear red lipstick! Hell yes...I like my red lips. They pay it forwards to other fat girls like me, they kiss the lips of the man that I love and who stood by me through fat and thin! They give advice and offer apologies, they communicate what I want, need, dream of and desire. Best of all they part for the stunning DS diet I eat.
No paying it forward DS post would not be complete without a quick look at my eating day. Remember I have power malabsorption and need to eat between 2000-3000 calories a day minimum, at least 150g of fat as a minimum and 150-200g of protein so that I can run and lift weights without eating my muscle mass. The above depends on my gym and outdoors activity (oh yes, this girl loves to exercise).
Breakfast: Omelet with Cheddar cheese, cream, x3 eggs, ham, mushrooms. Coffee with half and half, two tablespoons of baked beans.
Morning Tea: Coffee with half and half, x1 piece of granary bread with copious butter and a tablespoon of crunchy peanut butter on it. Half an avocado if in season.
Lunch: Sirloin steak with pepper corn sauce, side salad with olive oil drizzle and balsamic
Afternoon tea: Prawn marie rose (prawn cocktail) and lettuce wraps, decaff coffee with cream
Dinner: Roast pork with extra crackling, green veg, beef hot sour soup with ginger and garlic and chili
Dessert: Jelly with full fat custard
Before bed: Cheddar cheese sticks dipped in Branston pickle, sushi if there is any left over from the day.
Caveat: Some DSers need to low carb (below 100g a day or less) in order to meet their goal. I arrived and kept losing without restricting carbs but I am not the norm.
There is so much information you need in order to have a DS and you need to start researching everything you can on DS facts if you want to go down the same road as me.
I would do this again every year for the rest of my life if it meant freeing myself from the "fat girl" prison I made for myself. Like I said, I am still her and she is me except now my body is my own. It doesn't belong to obsession and addiction, it doesn't belong to pain and depression, it doesn't belong to an example of failure by societies standards...now it is mine and I am using it to its limits.
Life can be what you dreamed it could be. Honestly!
Do you have a photo essay to share with OH Members? We would love to feature you! Email your photos and essay to Tammy at: [email protected]
