DCGirl26

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This morning I weigh 206. My body is sort of loving this weight which is frikkin annoying! I know what I need to do to lose versus what I need to maintain or even gain. I'm tracking everyday and some days I just eat everything in sight. One thing I've been pretty consistent with is exercise and I think that, for me, this is HUGELY important. I'm going to keep doing that and watching what I eat and I think I will end December back in Onederland. Wish me luck!

 I'm going to officially stop counting in months. I'm 2.5 years out now and still around 209. I have been making some pretty terrible food choices lately, so it's really no wonder. I need to do something to get things back on track.

So I've gained. Today I'm 207.5. No more excuses - the time is now. I am writing here to keep myself accountable. By August 28, 2010 I want to be updating you with a weight of 185. God be with me!

 Oh crap. I've been slacking beyond slacking. Grazing, snacking, carb overloading, not drinking water, etc. etc. Basically, I've gotten much too comfortable in my post-WLS body. However, I've had a recent revelation that's got me back on track this last week or so. Basically, in the last 10 months I have lost nothing. NOTHING. All of the losing was in the first year or so and I've plateaued by allowing myself to eat in ways that are simply not conducive to losing or even maintaining my weight loss. The fact is, RNY has done it's job. It's not a miracle cure, it's not a quick fix, a long fix, or even a permanent tool - that's all bullshit and anyone who believes it going into surgery or after it is destined to fail in my humble opinion. RNY did me one favor - it gave me a bitching head start. It allowed me to lose 150 pounds in a little over a year and get to a point where now, the work is entirely up to me to lose the rest and maintain the loss. I honestly and truly feel like - at this point - I have no advantage over "normal" people struggling to lose just a bit of weight. We are in the same boat, only I am at risk of vitamin deficiencies and twisted bowels and they aren't. The question when considering surgery should be: is the trade-off worth it? Because, that's exactly what it is - a trade off. As my doctor put it, you are trading one chronic condition (obesity) for another (being a WLS patient). In the last 4 months, I've gained 11 pounds and one day after a particularly salty meal, I actually hit 200 on the scale again. That was the point I realized that I am, basically, still suffering with a chronic condition. I hope that recognizing this at this point will save me the drama of using this space as a bitching post for my post op regret after regaining 100 pounds, as so many do. Because the fact is I realize that the surgery is over, it's done it's work and now it's my turn. Sure, it might stop me from eating and entire pizza or tub of ice cream in one sitting, but I never really did that anyway. All of the old thoughts about food - the longing, the wanting to snack just because, the craving for sweet and salty or savory and fatty, whatever - it's all still there waiting for you on the other side. So newbies, be prepared for that reality and oldies, always keep that in mind. 

Highest weight: 337
Lowest weight: 183
Current weight: 194
Goal for next check-in:180 (April 11, 2010)

So in the last two months I've only lost 6 pounds - hey, it's better than gaining. I know where I've been slacking and I'm definitely kicking things up a notch. I'm logging EVERYTHING - the good, the bad, the ugly. That is my only non-negotiable rule at this point. For the last couple weeks I'm getting in between 1,300-1,700 calories a day and I've been losing. Since being home in the States for two weeks I've lost about five pounds just by really keeping track and not letting myself snack snack snack all day. I need to stick with this but the most crucial component to this weight loss thing for me is working out. I absolutely most work out to lose weight. So I'm setting some goals for the next two weeks, goals, not rules because I don't do well with rules. On July 31 which will be just about 15 months post-op for me, I'd like to update you at a weight of 179. I think I can do it. In order to achieve this I will strive to do the following for the next two weeks:

- Track EVERYTHING
- No more than 1,500 calories a day
- 80 grams of protein daily
- At least 64 oz fluid
- All vitamins
- Workout in a meaningful way at least 3 times a week, but stay active every day

Update to come, wish me luck!

One year ago I weighed 337 pounds. Today, I'm 194. I really can't believe what RNY has helped me achieve. Aside from smaller clothes, more self esteem, pride in myself, control over food (most times! lol) I just feel absolutely wonderful. I don't really have that much else to say. I have had some moments with eating things I shouldn't and I'm really not a dumper for the most part so it's even more difficult to resist temptation, but I have my tool which doesn't make it easy, but makes it possible. Before RNY I literally could not do it. I could not resist the hunger in the pit of my stomach, the cravings, the desire to overindulge, I just couldn't say no. After RNY, all of the temptations are still there, and if sometimes I do cave in. But it's different now, I know how good it feels to be where I am, I know how much work it took to get here and I realize that overinduldging will get me right back where I started - and that's the last thing I want. 

As for a goal, I guess I can say 150 confidently now. When I weighed 337 and was told that was my ideal weight, I thought that it would be absiolutely impossible to get there. Now, 44 pounds away - it's possible, if not probable that I will see that number on the scale eventually. 

As for my monthly goal, I'd like to update you a month from now weighing in at 185. I know I can do it!!

I added a before and after pic to my photos  I still have a ways to go, but I'm getting there!

 Nothing new to report. I'm stalled basically and I know why. I haven't been working out as much as I need to be, haven't been drinking water as much as I should be and have been snacking on carby stuff. I know what I need to do. I've been bouncing back and forth between 201 and 199. On a positive note I am seeing 199 on the scale - some days anyway! I need to stay focused and on track because it seems these last 40-50 pounds or so will be totally up to me to lose.

Has it really been 10 months? Hard to believe. Things with WLS get a bit more tricky as time goes on. The honeymoon stages I was warned would end seem to be coming to a close. I'm not losing 25 pounds a month effortlessly, I'm now losing 6-8 pounds a month if I'm lucky. I can't complain with an overall weight loss of 131 pounds in 10 months - that's insane and I'm very happy with that. However, I'm realizing that it's true what veteran WLS'ers tell you - this is no quick fix. It's pretty easy to stall, sabotage, and even regain lots of weight. I know that I have let myself get a bit off track by experimenting with foods that I would not even have dared try the first 6 months after surgery for fear of dumping, death, weight gain, etc. But now that I have tested my boundaries and know that I can basically get anything down without dumping as long as I keep the portions reasonable, I find myself digressing to some old habits which is just plain scary.  A few chips, a few spoons of ice cream, a taste of this and that, drinking with meals, not exercising, etc. Basically, after a while WLS is similar to other diets in that you actually have to follow the plan to be successful. I haven't been doing that the way I should, but I'm resolving to try a bit harder this next month.

On the emotional front...while I've gone from a snug size 28 to a snug 14, I still see myself as quite overweight. In fact, when I see my full body reflection I still think I'm huge. I know this is an issue of distorted perception, but it drives me a little nuts! I'm so lucky to have a wonderfully supportive boyfriend who finds me beautiful and attractive and has never made me feel like I am not wanted and loved at any weight (even at 337 pounds). I know what I need to do - get back to basics. This morning I was 206. I want to reach onederland by my birthday on March 26. I will update you in a couple weeks (when I am 11 months out) and let you know how things go. Here goes!

I can't believe that I'm already nine months out of surgery.  The first few weeks went by slowly but after that it has just zipped by. I've learned so much about myself in these last few months. Firstly, I know that losing 130 pounds has not made me a different person. I have always been adventurous, fun, and social - I was just trapped inside of myself for a while and couldn't be the person I already was.  Secondly, I've learned that when they say 'this is not a quick fix' they aren't kidding!  I knew this when I went into surgery, however, part of me believed that my thinking towards food would magically shift and I'd be craving carrot sticks whilst doing leg lifts at the gym. Needless to say, this is not the case. RNY has provided me with a tool to help regulate my weight but it is very easy to sabotage this surgery. In a way I'm glad that I've learned this lesson so early out, I just hope that I can continue to recognize unhealthy thinking and practices when it comes to food and resolve them before they get out of hand. I've allowed myself to snack during the day on carby things that provide little protein. I'm also horrible at getting in all of my water. I want to work on these two issues but I don't want to approach it the way I would pre-WLS. Instead, I want to adopt habits that will help me make good choices. I need to exercise. I know that when I exercise I feel better and also am less likely to eat crap. So that's my one real resolution for this next month. I'm updating a bit late so I will reach ten months out in 24 days. I'm resolving to get to the gym and get a move on. If I do this and follow the simple stuff: protein first, less snacking, more water, vitamins daily...I know I will be updating you from onederland. I'm 212 as of this morning. So, ass - yeah I'm talking to you...get ready to lose 13 pounds. I keep you updated!

Hi all!! I've been busy busy busy with school and work and adjusting to life in London - all of which has gone pretty smoothly so I can't complain. In terms of diet and weight loss I'm realizing that as time passes things get easier in some ways and harder in others. First off the easier part. Living with weight loss surgery portions and food restrictions has sort of become a normal part of my life that I'm not really consumed by anymore. I don't have dreams about food or constantly think about what I can eat next and I do definitely feel MUCH more in control when it comes to food than I did before surgery (which I guess is the point, right??). As for what's become more difficult...the hunger does return to some extent as do the cravings for things you shouldn't eat. Granted it is much easier to resist temptation with this tool but it is still there and is still just as difficult to say no to those old friends that keep wanting to regain a place in my life. For the most part I've been very successful at using my tool to the best of my ability and exercising but I'm not perfect. There have certainly been days (and maybe even a week or two) when I just couldn't be bothered with the gym and a time or two when a hershey kiss may have grazed my lips but overall I am very happy to say that for all intents and purposes I consider myself a WLS success story. Since my sugery on April 28, 2008 I have lost 111 pounds and I have lost a total of 121 pounds overall. Things are definitely moving at lot slowly as I approach 9 months out of surgery but they are moving nonetheless so I try not to discourage myself with thoughts of failure that can creep in uninvitied every now and then. One thing that has changed for the better since surgery is my attitude towards weight loss/maintenance. I used to think that if I messed up and ate something bad at one meal that was my ticket to do the same for the rest of the day/week/month/year etc. Now I realize that this is just a way of life and eating a treat or a no-no item might happen (although this is not an excuse to induldge every day) but that when it does I have to remember that the next meal is my opportunity to again return to making healthy choices and I'm right back on the wagon with little or no guilt. I've realized that this is the way people with healthy attitudes toward food approach it and I think it works for me. I've read a lot of things about post-ops reverting to old habits or developing new ones such as drinking, smoking, etc. and I trying to stay weary of that as I continue my journey. If I can give one piece of advice to newbies or post-ops it's follow the advice of your surgeon and take your supplements from day one. Utilize your support network to the fullest and be kind to yourself. This journey is not easy, not a quick fix, and all of the old "demons" that cause you to overeat in the first place will still be there when you lose the weight so be ready to work on yourself from the inside out. Best of luck and talk to you very soon!!