Question:
I also have concerns with telling my co-workers/employer about my

surgery. I'm afraid they will look at this as being "elective" surgery and will somehow try to deny it. This type of thing has occurred in the past. I recently saw a new form in my company where you have to request permission to take medical leave. The form asks for very specific details of surgery and has a section where the leave is approved or not. Also, most people I've told that I'm having the surgery have been supportive, but there are quite a few that try and talk me out it. I haven't told anyone at work, but I too don't want to deal with more negativity.    — Darcy B. (posted on September 9, 1999)

September 9, 1999
I think the form you are refering to is the form that has to be filled out for the gov't. I had to have it filled out. Even if you are electing to have the surgery it is because of health reasons. Don't be worried about what other people might think. Be an ADVOCATE for yourself
   — David M.

September 9, 1999
Wow, do you work where I work??? My boss used the exact words "elective surgery" when we had a fight about me asking for advanced sick leave. The doctor's note you receive saying you are having surgery should cover your butt for any questions or concerns they have and the sad part is, the insurance company would probably love to hear that this is elective, HELLOOOO!!! They wouldn't pay for it, if it wasn't medically necessary. I told everyone I was having this done and I had my share of negativity, actually more than my share. But believe me, people are astounded now because I look so different. If you have any questions and would like to talk please feel free to e-mail me. My home e-mail is [email protected] or you can e-mail me at work. Good luck!!
   — Rhonda B.

September 9, 1999
You are having surgery for a medical necessity. That's all they need to know. Don't give them more information than they need, but don't lie. Just explain you must have surgery and approximately how long you need to be out. If that isn't enough, refer them to your surgeon. And if they make any attempt to deny you earned sick leave or vacation time, refer it to your attorney!
   — Sherrie G.

September 9, 1999
Wow. I have the same problem. I have debated over it, over and over again. I have decided finally to say a little white lie. It is better for everyone involved. Do not feel bad there are alot of prejudices against the overweight and critique is one of them. I did not want to hear it or even if it was not said then at least everyone, including boss, would think it is the irresponsible thing to do and for cosmetic reasons. If you work in a hostile environment as I do the most important thing to do is survive. If surviving in a harsh environment means a little white lie, well so be. Just remember that after all is said and done, it is nobody's business but your own. Who knows you may choose not to work there anymore after you feel more confident in yourself and people start to view you for you. Best of luck and here's cheering for ya !!!!!
   — [Anonymous]

February 9, 2000
I have told everyone where I work and I do not feel ashamed. Let me ask a question. If you had a tumor and had to it removed would you tell your employer? As far as I am concerned it is no different and there is nothing to be ashamed of. I have gotten very favorable responses. Everyone I have told work or otherwise have told me that it takes alot of courage to have this surgery. Don't sell people short, you may be surprised at the responses. I sure was. I have received more positive responses that I thought I would. The bottom line is it doesn't matter what others think. You are taking care of yourself that is what matters.
   — Pamela J. K.

February 9, 2000
Darcy I posted the same question within the last month and received alot of great responses. You might want to search the database to hear what others had to say on the topic.
   — Toni B.

February 9, 2000
Darcy, I am pre-op... and I am talking about it. I am not trying 'information overload' but if the subject of my being away from my job comes up... I am talking! I have had secrets all of my life and much of this has to do with my weight. I am finding a sense of relief and freedom coming from being vocal. I know that because of this surgery I will never be the woman I am today thankfully! I hope to lose so many fears along with the weight. I know that many people will not understand or accept my choice for life. They are the uninformed ones...people that think if I just quit eating so much! If I had some willpower! I pity them and have no use for them in my new life. My support will come from myself and those who know and love me. You will never be able to please everyone. Be true to you and do or say what is best for your situation. No one lives it but you. We should not be held responsible for others ignorance. I will never apologize for my weight... no one hates it more than I and it has hurt no one more than myself! Keep a smile on and do whatever you have to!
   — Dottie H.