Question:
Do you truly miss "social" eating as you did pre-op or did you easily adapt?

If you just love to eat, is the lifestyle change easier than if you are an emotional or compulsive overeater? I would not condsider myself an emotional or compulsive eater, I just love to eat, and because I never could lose weight, there was no motivation to change that. Is it easier to adapt to the lifestyle change if you don't have major "problems" (emotional eating and compulsive eating) to deal with prior to surgery other than head hunger and "just wanting to eat because you love food"? Do you truly miss "social" eating as you did pre-op or did you easily adapt?    — Denise B. (posted on August 1, 2003)

August 1, 2003
I am not a compulsive or emotional eater. I STILL enjoy eating and I enjoy the fact I don't OVER eat any longer. At first I was very sad that I would never 'social' eat or enjoy eating again. I do both now. I eat in social situations and I enjoy what I eat. I was never a junk food eater or a snacker. Not that I didn't have some bad stuff at times. But I most enjoy good, healthy food. It's just that I enjoyed WAY too much (HUGE amounts) of it before WLS. I had the surgery because I thought it would allow me to have whatever I wanted, only very small amounts of it. Otherwise it would be 'dieting' and I don't do 'diets'. Open RNY 9 mos out and down 178 lbs.
   — Ginger M.

August 1, 2003
I am 2 months out and still have a little hard time with social eating. For example, this week we had Vacation Bible School at church. I was a team leader and there all week. Many people brought in donuts, muffins, danishes and other baked goods to share for the staff. It was terrible to resist and I admit having a slice of carrot cake without the frosting. I found that I did better when I had a water bottle in my hand and I brought some mozz cheese sticks for when I got hungry. I know there will be situations when work starts again for birthdays, parties, brunches and more. I can plan some stuff into my day for meals and plan to have food on hand incase there is nothing I can have. This way I am eating while they are too, so I don't feel like an outcast.
   — Heather M.

August 1, 2003
Hi Denise, I am 4 mos post op, and as early as 2 weeks after surgery I was in social eating environments. Mostly business lunches or going out with a group of friends who love to go out eating. Both groups had to do more adjusting than I did. I didn't really care about how little I ordered, but they did at first. The business people have adjusted and compliment me about being able to stick to my new diet (they don't know about the RNY), they actually say that they admire me. My friends support me because I have lost weight and I am more active with them, I am no longer dragging myself around. My friends know about the surgery. Some of the ladies now split food orders with me, I get 1/4, they get 3/4's & eat less. If I have to order a full meal, the my friends husbands(and my own hubby) look forward to eating whatever I don't eat. I don't miss it because I find myself spending more time in conversation than before. Now, compulsive eating is different. When I am stressed, I find myself wanting something to nosh on. I grab a thin slice of turkey or something and usually can't get a bite down because I fill up fast - so I have to find other things to do. I eat everything I like, just in smaller quantities.
   — M B.

August 1, 2003
Sometimes I miss social eating but don't think it is totally gone forever! We can still have a little fun too. It just isn't in a large amount I don't know about you but sometimes I just could not get satisfied when I would overeat at a buffet or something. I always wanted to take some home or eat more. Now, I can enjoy healthy choices even more than cake or pie. Truthfully, I am making better choices because I really like the flavor of good food like cherry tomatoes better than a piece of fudge. It is very strange but I find myself enjoying a V8 juice more than a coke. Even though I could choose the coke, I choose the V8. We can socialize without stuffing our faces with fattening food. Sometimes a simple cup of coffee is all it takes to enjoy a great conversation with a friend. Don't worry.....you won't miss the big meals too much It is worth it to look into the mirror at yourself in the morning and know that you didn't "blow" another diet. Many times I would overeat on a weekend and swear that come Monday morning I was going to starve it off. I would just enjoy that big piece of chocolate cake (or several pieces) and would never touch it again.....NOT. Guess where that kind of reasoning got me? Morbidly obese and Monday morning came and went and I was out of control again in eating habits. It was not easy to adapt though because I still order more than I can possibly eat when my husband and I go out to dinner. Everything is so appealing and my eyes are bigger than my tummy. My husband will look at me and whisper "you will not eat all that". I take it home and never touch it again. Head hunger is a hard thing to beat.
   — Mylou52

August 1, 2003
Just a thought..... I also love to eat!! There is no better social time than to hang out with friends and have a good meal. I am 1 1/2 years out and have lost about 200 LBS. I can still enjoy theses great meal, but I can't eat like a pig. I don't stuff myself anymore. I think I didn't love the food as much as I loved overeating. Good Lux
   — Robert L.

August 2, 2003
I still do social eating. Heck I've become the person who takes all the pre-ops to dinner so they can see that life after surgery isn't a big deal. I just get 3 meals for the price of 1 now, which is fine with me. I am 6 months PO tomorrow and do not intend to cut out dinner with friends etc. I keep telling everyone that post op life is not another prison, it's just a DIFFERENTway of eating and since our previous ways didn't work, what have you got to lose. My philosophy is, if you can tolerate it you can eat it. But that does mean you have to use your brain and make good choices 98% of the time, but by good I mean high in protein. There can be some fat and carbs etc. in the meals but limit them and don't do it often. I had dinner with a pre-op Thursday night and we went to Chi Chi's. I had my Twice Grilled Chicken BBQ Buritto. It was as good as it was the week before surgery, last time I had it. I ate the 2nd third for supper last night and the 3rd third for breakfast today. Still have some beans left for another meal, so I guess I'll get 4 meals out of it. The beans were certainly not low fat, but they won't kill me to have every few months. I did not eat all of the buritto but ate the chicken and veggies and cheese. I order hamburgers without a bun, no big deal. If I'm going to eat bread I want it to be good grainy bread, so a hamburger bun is no loss to me. I ate a KFC shredded BBQ chicken sandwich (insides only) for lunch today. Much higher in sugar than normal, but won't be a big problem. I was on the road and it was the best choice I could make in the situation. Only carbs I had was the BBQ sauce, so I certainly followed my PO eating plan. Follow your plan very closely and give your body time to adjust and for you to develop new habits, but do not assume you will never eat something again. You may not tolerate something, but that's a different story. Chris.
   — zoedogcbr

August 3, 2003
Believe me, I like to eat--and I enjoy my food more now than I ever did before my surgery because I eat slowly and savor the taste, and because I know I can't just cram unlimited amounts of yummy stuff into myself. Plus, I discovered post-op that you can eat really gourmet stuff like smoked salmon and caviar because a tiny bit of these things doesn't cost much! As far as socializing, I'm not sure if others consistently feel this way, but when I go out with friends, I eat my little meal, and when I'm full I jsut stop thinking about the food....I was amazed when I went to a party at four months out, with incredible cheesecakes (six kinds!) plus every beautiful canape you can imagine and it was almost as if I was admiring something in a museum. I admired the stuff, and then I ate my little meal I'd brought, and it was as though all the food had simply disappeared. I didn't see it or think about it for the rest of the evening. Weird, huh?
   — gamboge