Question:
Anyone feel guilty about spending money for PS?
I went to a PS today and he quoted me a price of $18,000 for thigh/buttocks lift, arm lift, remove excess skin at bra line and on back. He will not submit for insurance approval. I don't get rashes or anything like that. I worked out a loan with my parents and I can pay them back with my yearly tax returns (will take about five years), so that is not the problem. The problem is I feel guilty about spending that kind of money for something like this. Like I am being vain or trying to erase all of my years of being obese. Then there is the nagging thoughts of what if I do spend this money and regain my weight. Then again maybe having spent this money it will be an incentive to keep the weight off. I'm so confused and feeling like I am being too extravengent. I mean there are starving people in the world and I am spending money on this???? What do you all think? — Gay S. (posted on February 5, 2003)
February 5, 2003
hi - just as mary said before , do it . stop feeling guilty to do something
good for yourself . i wish i was at the point you are and have the chance
to get this done . you really are lucky to have your parents and the fact
they want to help .......... JUST DO IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!
— patti G.
February 5, 2003
Plastics are just another step in this journey we take. Some choose to
take that step and some choose not to. I had a TT already and am currently
awaiting to hear from insurance regarding a breast lift. If insurance does
not pan out for the breasts, well, then I'll find another way to get them
done...my DH supports me in that and has promised we will find a way to get
them done. He realizes that it is important for me to be as
"normal" as possible. I am in no way shape or form trying to
erase my obesity...but rather trying to make myself as "normal"
as possible. Good luck and remember to give your parents a great big hug!!
It's wonderful that they are so supportive of you and your choices. Have
a Sparkling Day!! ~CAE~
— Mustang
February 5, 2003
Have you only consulted with one doctor? I saw two. The first one said he
would file insurance, but there would be some "out of pocket
expense." The second one had no problems filing with my insurance and
never mentioned any other expense. I was approved on the first attempt. I
never even saw the VERY first doctor I had a referral to because when I
called to make the appointment I was told that they did not file insurance
for abdominoplasty/panniculectomy. My point is that I wouldn't just look at
one doctor. There are some very compassionate doctors out there. As far as
rashes go, I don't get them either. I guess my pictures spoke a thousand
words. Don't feel guilty. You're worth it.
— Pamela B.
February 5, 2003
Gay, I totally relate. I'm one of those that feels guilty spending money
on a new tube of mascara and has not once yet spent my income tax refund on
myself. Last year I decided I WAS doing something for myself, I was tired
of suffering with my stomach (it was huge) and took the steps to have
surgery, putting myself (and family) in debt. I found that if its
important to you, then your loved onces will support you all the way. In
the end last year I chose to have 2 surgeries. One thought I have is that
you might be able to cut down on those costs if you were willing to shop
around. I went to a fantastic surgeon in Mexico. I know it sounds scarey
but he really is one of the best. He next thinks I should have the breast
lift, arm lift combined (he cuts the price when you combine surgeries which
helps too). He told me that the bra area skin roll would be taken care of
in that surgery. I'd say you could pretty much half that dollar amount if
you used my surgeon. Its just a thought (email me if you'd like). No
matter what I hope you find your way to happiness and letting yourself do
something great just for you. Good luck.
— Shelly S.
February 5, 2003
Hi, its the original poster. Thanks everyone. I feel a lot better. I am
scheduled to see another PS next Tuesday and I will see two more. Maybe
one of them will submit, if not then I will still have this done. I have
been obese all my life and I do want to look normal for once in my life. I
want to be able to wear shorts and short sleeve shirts. I haven't done
that since I was in elementary school. I know they have good plastic
surgeons in Mexico and Costa Rica and it would be less expensive to go
there, but I don't have anyone to go with me. My parents are elderly and
could not make the trip and I am single with no signficanct other. They
will be able to help out after surgery, but I don't think I should make the
trip alone.
— Gay S.
February 5, 2003
Hi Gay. I'm a plastic surgeon in Texas and obviously am a big supporter of
anyone desiring to improve their body image! The "movie star"
perception of plastic surgery is really becoming a thing of the past, and
most patients I see seeking aesthetic surgery are just "ordinary
folks." Your concerns are common, and the answers you received from
all the other posters were all right on target ! I will only add that if
you look in almost everybody's driveway, you'll see a car which I would bet
costs more than the surgery you want...it's a machine that wears out in 5
years. Your body is the most important thing you "have" and when
you change it for the better, as you have already, it's forever. Being
close to Mexico, I have strong opinions about venturing to a foreign
country for any type of surgery. I agree that there can be good surgeons
in those countries, but the hospital, legal, insurance, and followup
systems you might need in case of any problems (even small ones) are simply
not available to you. Having seen the results of various misadventures too
often in my practice, my advice is for you to seek surgery only from a
board-certified plastic surgeon. (check the list at www.abms.org) Surgery
is simply one area I feel you shouldn't compromise. Best wishes. JL
— DrL
February 5, 2003
I am currently at home recovering from an abdominoplasty and lower body
lift which cost me nearly $17,000. Soon I will have my arms done and
breasts lifted. That will be another $6000 or so. When speaking of the
cost to a friend, he stated "For that kind of money you could have a
new car". As if a car was more valuable! So I said to him
"Well, A) I already have a great new car and B) I have, god willing,
another 50 years on this body. You find me a car that'll last that long
and we'll talk". So, to answer your question...no, don't feel guilty
if you can afford it, or work out a way to pay for it, it will be worth it.
If you ask me, feeling comfortable in your own skin is priceless. Best
Wishes.
— PaulaM
February 5, 2003
I don't feel guilty at all. Why would I want all this excess skin after
I've worked so hard to lose this weight?? I want to look and feel the best
about myself that I can. I spent FAR too many years feeling bad about
myself because I was fat. Well those days are over and if you can get
someone to give you a loan your lucky. I wish I had someone who would do
that for me and I'm sure many others on here wish the same thing. Don't
feel bad, be happy. Your VERY lucky and I think you don't even know it.
— Patty H.
February 5, 2003
I don't feel guilty at all. Why would I want all this excess skin after
I've worked so hard to lose this weight?? I want to look and feel the best
about myself that I can. I spent FAR too many years feeling bad about
myself because I was fat. Well those days are over and if you can get
someone to give you a loan your lucky. I wish I had someone who would do
that for me and I'm sure many others on here wish the same thing. Don't
feel bad, be happy. Your VERY lucky and I think you don't even know it.
— Patty H.
February 5, 2003
I had full abdominoplasy and thigh lift that my insurance paid every dime
of. I did feel a little guilty though at taking such a risk, I have two
daughters. At the end of December I had a circum-areole lift and implant
which I spent $4,600 of my own money on. I love it, the girls look awesome!
But I did and sometimes still feel guilty about the money I spent on my own
vanity. It is just a mother thing I think. I am glad I did it though. I
would do again though, I can live with the guilt, LOL.
— cindy Q.
February 6, 2003
Yes, I felt guilty, but No, it didn't stop me and I'm so glad I went ahead
and did it (Lower body lift and breast lift). I've NEVER spent alot of
money on myself, so it was a big step, but it made a HUGE difference and
was worth every penny... even if we will be paying it off for the next 5
years. My dh calls it "the gift that keeps on giving" (did I
mention my breasts were SUPER PERKY now?) and personally, I'm happy to give
up the new car in order to look great when getting out of the old one ;o)
— mom2jtx3
February 6, 2003
Gay, Count your lucky stars (and your parents) that you have the resources
available to have PS done!!! I personally will not be able to afford PS
unless I can successfully appeal my denial. Justification is that you
would've spent it on food or other medical expenses had you remained heavy.
Why not spend it on yourself simply because you love yourself now, and
you're worth it? You can still do good works for others now; offer your
time and your manual labor, once you heal. That's even better than simply
sending money. Just my thoughts. Good luck!
— lisachris
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