Question:
I am desperate for help. Not eating & so depressed

Today I am on day 11 of open RNY. I also had my hiatal hernia repaired & my gall bladder taken out. I am going thru the depressed feeling, not really of if I did the right thing because I know that I did, but just basically feeling blue. Worrying about this & how that is going to be taken care of. But the main thing is that I am not hardly eating at all. Nothing appeals to me. It's 1:00 in the afternoon now & I have had maybe 5 spoonfuls of cream of wheat & that's it. I really need advice on what to eat. I know getting your protein in is extremely important & I have yet to do that. I just really need some help right now. I'm even crying as I write this to all of you.    — Lori M. (posted on December 6, 2001)


December 6, 2001
first of all...BIG HUG!!...I so remember feeling like you do! I never questioned my decision to have the surgery and I thought I had done enough research to deal with anything after having it, but no one can warn you what it's like not to be able to eat like you use to! I was about a week out and my poor mother was trying to take care of me, she was running thru a list of things she could make for me and all I could do was sit there crying shaking my head "no" at all of them and wishing I could have a hamburger! Don't worry about the protein just yet, focus on getting yourself nourished...try making instant potatoes with fat free chicken broth instead of water, or f.f refried beans, sugarfree applesauce - add a packet of equal, I was able to tolerate yogurt and sugarfree pudding...I hope this helps! Believe me, it will get better! another BIG HUG...
   — DolcezzaVT

December 6, 2001
Hi Lori, I am over 2 months post-op (open rny with gall bladder and appendix out) and feel like I've suffered through several bouts of post-op depression like what you described. I have heard it has to do with the physical hardships we endured having surgery, being in the hospital and recuperating. Maybe you feel helpless too. When I first got home from the hospital I was so dependent on my mom to help me do things. I hated it. I cried and said, "Look you got me where you want me now, don't you!" and she hadn't even done anything except help me put my binder on! There's a million emotions that are fighting inside of you because of this surgery. Just relax and know that you will come out of it. Do like the last person said. Eat what you can. In time you will be wanting to eat again! Good luck to you!!
   — Jennifer H.

December 6, 2001
I felt the same way you did around 4 weeks post surgery. It's called post-surgical depression. It's pretty common. I was lucky in that I was on antidepressant prior to surgery and finally went back on them. I have since stopped taking them as I feel great now. (I'm 11 weeks post surgery RNY and have lost 55 lbs). As for the protein and not eating, I think of food as a treat. My first goal is to try and get my water in, then my protein and vitamins. If I have time, I'll get some foods in, but just a little bit a time. I stay away from all sugar and milk products. We were on 4 weeks of clear liquids, followed by 10-14 days of soft/pureed foods, followed by another 10-14 days of soft/solids foods and then slowly introduce solids, but making sure to chew very throughly and taking small bites. Usually about a shot glass full (1 oz). One of the reasons that foods does not appeal to you could be because either you are not hungry (and that happens) or some people say that their tastes and smell changes after the surgery. Mine did not but then again I do tend to like some things I never liked before. Good luck and congrats on the surgery!
   — trtorrey

December 6, 2001
{{{{{{Lori}}}}}} Youll be just fine, youll see! We all go through the blues after surgery. I think its mainly about losing the "best friend" weve had our entire lives. But, remember, its that friend that got us into trouble in the first place! Stay positive, do what you can. I know its hard at first. Im out 7 weeks, and am now just getting used to the new way of life. It will get better, believe me... believe all of us. Weve been there, done that! Youll do great! : ) Good luck and God Bless!
   — Kerry P.

December 6, 2001
*hugs* Believe it or not, this is very common! Many people say depression is one of the aftereffects of anesthesia, not to mention your emotions will be bouncing up and down as things like estrogen are stored in your fat cells! The main thing is to get in fluids, even if you aren't hungry. You'll get dehydrated way before you starve to death and once you're dehydrated, you'll feel nauseous, dizzy, sore, my eyes even hurt! I couldn't and still can't get in water because it makes me burpy and gurgly, so I'm drinking gatorade. Since I'm barely getting 32oz-40oz of fluid a day, the sugar,potassium and the electrolytes actually help me more than water would at this time. I also tend not to eat until the afternoon, but then I don't wake up until about 10am at the earliest! Once I start back to work on Monday I hope to correct that issue. I had a DS, not an RNY, so I know there are some concerns with stoma blockages so you may want to stick to soft foods for right now, etc..but yogurt, cottage cheese with a little cinnamon, string cheese, egg salad, tuna salad (egg salad and tuna salad got me through the first 2 weeks), some people also suggest crab salad or lobster salad, but you want to make sure the pieces aren't too dry. The main thing is to stay hydrated and it will get better! *hugs* If the depression is more then mild, you may also want talk to your doctor about getting a Rx to temporarly treat the problem. You don't want to get yourself in a place where you're not taking care of your health and you're getting worse instead of better! The bottom line though is that it does get better and you will be able to have a cheeseburger and normal type foods again, just in smaller (but way bigger than now!) proportions :) I'm almost a month post-op and hey, I'm already at the point where a shower doesn't feel like it's a major ordeal and I need to nap! *grins* Hang in there and send me an email if you need! Anita 11/08/01 -Open DS - Dr Keshishian
   — Anita N.

December 6, 2001
Hi, Lori....you are not alone. I still have bouts of depression...and I am on anti-depressants. I think the fact that I just can't curl up in front of the TV with a container of ice cream, depresses me. I'm lucky if I can eat 2 times a day now. Take it slow. Try eating pea soup, lentil soup, vegetarian beans...all protein....refried beans with cheese melted on top. I'm 4 weeks post-op and each night is a new venture at the dinner table. You will see, as the weight comes off, you will feel better and better. Good luck and keep your chin up.
   — Dianne K.

December 6, 2001
LORRI YOUR NOT ALONE FEELING THIS WAY WE ALL GO THRU THIS.YOU JUST HAVE TO BE PATICENTAND TRY THE JELLO AND TEAI HAD APPLESAUCE,CHICKEN BROTH YOU JUST HAVE TO BEAR IT A FEW MORE DAYS THEN YOU CAN HAVE FOOD BLENDED.I HAD ENSURE WITH HIGH PROTEIN FOR BREAKFAST,THEN YOU CAN HAVE BLENDED CREAN OF SOUPS.I LIKED THE CHICKEN OR MUSHROOMS.I MIXED UP COOLWHIP WITH DIETJELLOAND BLENFED UP SOME STRAWBERRIES THAT MADE A GOOD SALAD.I'VE LOST 47 POUNDS AND MY SURGERY WAS 1 MONTH AGO. HAND IN THERE GIRL YOU CAN DO THIS. GOD BLESS .NANCY M. EMAIL -- [email protected]
   — NANCY M.

December 6, 2001
HUGS TO YOU! What you are going thru is very normal! I had/have it myself. I am 9weeks post open RNY(Fobi Pouch). I have lost 60lbs and I am happy about that,but it has not been easy. This surgery is a life changing event and it takes ALOT of adjustment not just physical but mental(emotional)too. For me I was not prepared for the emotional! I have always used food to numb my feelings...to avoid feeling unpleasant things or really anything I did not want to feel. Now that is not an option.(Because it was really hurting me) And its hard to not have that comfort. You will not be able to eat much and that is very normal. I still have no appetite...but it will return. You will be okay. There is no harm or failure in antidepressant meds if you need them. I just started one myself. The whole thing can be very overwhelming. You are not alone we all go thru this. It's harder for some than others. It does get better. Hang in there. Feel free to email me anytime. It helps to get it out!
   — katherine H.

December 6, 2001
I, TOO HAD TROUBLE EATING. STILL DO SOMETIMES AT 3 MONTHS. I HATED THE PROTEIN DRINKS. THIS IS WHAT I DID. I MIX 1 SCOOP OF PRO COMPLEX (VANILLA) THAT I GOT AT GNC (GENERAL NUTRITION CENTER), 1 ENVELOPE OF DIET SWISS MISS COCOA MIX (CHOCOLATE), AND 1 TABLESPOON OF HERSEYS COCOA (IN DARK BROWN CAN), THE KIND YOU USE IN BAKING. BLEND IT OR SHAKE IT VIGOROUSLY AND IT TASTES LIKE A CHOCOLATE MALT. I LOVE IT. THE PROTEIN MIX ALONE WAS AWFUL. TRY IT. I THINK YOU WILL LIKE IT. THAT WAY IF YOU DON'T GET ENOUGH FOOD RIGHT NOW, AT LEAST YOU WILL BE GETTING THE PROTEIN. ONE SHAKE HAS 52 GRAMS OF PROTEIN.
   — LINDA B.

December 6, 2001
I JUST POSTED A MESSAGE ABOUT THE PROTEIN SHAKE AND FORGOT TO MENTION THAT YOU HAVE TO MIX THE SWISS MISS, HERSEYS, AND PRO COMPLEX WITH NON FAT MILK. THIS MAY WORK WITH OTHER PROTEIN POWDERS. I, TOO GET DEPRESSED, BUT HAVE KEPT UP WITH MY VISITS TO MY PSYCHOLOGIST. IT HAS HELPED. IF IT CONTINUES, PLEASE SEEK HELP. THIS IS A NORMAL REACTION, BUT DIFFICULT AT BEST.
   — LINDA B.




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