Question:
What do you tell your employer you are taking time off for?
I do not want my employer to know why I will need to take 3-4 weeks off. Has anyone else been in this position? I hate to lie, but this is deffinately something they would not understand. — April B. (posted on March 17, 2001)
March 17, 2001
I personally told my boss the truth. Of course, as I told her, I sat and
watched her eyes widen in surprise, but I told her none the less. However,
if I felt for some reason that I couldn't tell her, I would have probably
said gall bladder surgery, and left it at that.
— Dee P.
March 17, 2001
I would just say abdominal surgery. Usually this is a recovery of 6-8 wks.
If you say Gall Bladder they may expect you back in about 2 weeks.Lots can
fall under abdominal and it's the truth!
— Linda M.
March 17, 2001
I am scheduled for 3-28-01 and I have not told my employer or my co-workers
(with very few exceptions). No one has really asked and those that have,
are not pushing it when I respond that it is not something I care to talk
about. I have had back surgery in the past and I find it interesting that
almost everyone assumes I am having back surgery again. Your employer does
not have to know why you are going out of work. You will have to provide a
medical note from your surgeon but the doctor can simply state medical
reason.
— smummert
March 17, 2001
I told my employer the truth. It was hard to tell her because she has never
been over weight in her life !
I felt like she needed to know that this was a goal for me and that I would
be a better employee for it !
As hard as it was to tell her , I told her early ! All she was worried
about was that I get it done and be back in time for everyone elses
vacation !
Today she is very nice about it and even told me she wishes me the best of
luck!
One of my supervisors found out and told me not to do it but that is
because she had the vertical band done in 1983 and she gained all of hers
plus some back . Others that knew her then said she didn't even work with
it so that was her fault
and all my friends that I work with the most are very happy about my up
coming surgery. I needed that support at work and I was glad I told
people.
We have nothing to ashamed of; after all , most all of us have tried every
thing we could to lose our weight.
Be proud of your decision!!!
— kountry
March 18, 2001
I just don't know what the big deal is about everything having to be
secretive. I have told everyone near and far about my surgery! I am proud
of it! If I can reach one more person out there that needs to have this
surgery then I know I have done my job. An overweight person should by now
have thicker skin than others and should be able to put up with the
negative comments if any. Remember this is just a tool for us! It isn't
like lipo.........you will have to work for it! Good Luck to you but I
would be honest and tell them the truth. How else will you answer questions
later?
— [Anonymous]
March 18, 2001
Major abdominal surgery - and leave it at that.
— Lisa B.
March 18, 2001
does it strike anyone else as funny that someone would encourage honesty
and decry secrecy and then post anonymously? i think the advice is good.
i told everyone about it too, including those who went running from me with
their hand clasped over their ears, yelling, "too much information!
too much information!!" but, hey, at least this way when people are
talking about me, i'll have had a hand in giving them the correct
information....
— merri B.
March 18, 2001
Yes, it did strike me funny that the "shout it to the world"
person posted anonymously. Though, I have to agree with most of what they
said. I am pre op, surgery date April 27 and I tell everyone I can. I can
understand that we are all different, some more private than others. But,
my thought is this, maybe the resistance and disapproval would be less if
more of us were not so secretive and took the time to educate some of these
people. Those who have negative reactions are obviously not educated on
either morbid obesity or WLS. With all the research we have done in
preparation to make our own personal decision, and since we have suffered
the effects of morbid obesity personally, aren't we the most qualified to
educate some of these folks. Since I had to fight for approval I got the
opportunity to educate the head of our benefits department among other
people. Maybe I am just very lucky to have a lot of supportive people
around me, but when I do get that "look" and the "oh
really" response, I launch right in and give them more than then they
probably wanted to know. Again, I am not saying you are wrong to not tell,
it is a personal decision for sure. I just wish more of us would feel
comfortable spreading the word so that wls becomes as part of the
mainstream as gall bladder removal.
— cheryl R.
March 18, 2001
I'm a "RoofTopper", and I won't post anonymously. :-) I told my
supervisor, and he was convinced it was cosmetic surgery and suggested I
wait a year when I had more vacation time. Go figure...I know now I have
helped educate him in something that he, even in his PhD capacity, didn't
understand. His reaction, and the similar reactions of coworkers, added a
great deal of stress and strain I didn't need. My surgeon would have put
abdominal surgery on my leave form and left it at that if I wanted him
to.<br><br>I did have some post-op complication, and their same
attitude made it that much worse for me during that time. Some people that
didn't understand then still don't understand now, and are threatened by me
showing them up in some form. Yeah, that's it, I did this just to piss
them off...some people...handle it in the manner that is best for you and
your circumstance. good luck!
— [Deactivated Member]
March 19, 2001
I sat down with my boss and explained everything. I didn't really need or
have to, I could have just handled it all through the Human Resources
Manager, they have to keep it private. My boss was very understanding.
Everyone in my dept is going to pitch in and help. I even have the
short-term disability that my company pays for. Always check for that
short-term disability. I hope to have my surgery this summer. Good luck!!
— Sherrie G.
May 11, 2001
I was concerned about this very situation, but I told my supervisor that I
was having surgery and I would need to be off for 3 weeks and she or the
administration did not ask one single question. And female surgery always
works!! Good luck!
— Kassondra M.
June 16, 2001
I sat down with my boss and told him that I was scheduled for abdominal
surgery in August and needed a 4 week leave of absence. He immediately,
without hesitation, told me it would not be a problem and that he would
pray for me. Since he acted so compassionate, I went ahead and told him
what kind of surgery and why. He told me he understood and that if I was
comforatable with this decision so was he. Honesty, I think, is the best
policy.
— Patti G.
June 17, 2001
I told a lot of my coworkers about this months ago. However, my boss isn't
really part of their circle and then I got a new boss last week. I told
the old boss that I was having surgery and the date. I said I hoped the
timing wasn't too bad and he said "well, some things have to take
priority". Just the way he said it told me he didn't know what kind
of surgery it was. The funny thing was when I told him I'd be out 2-3
weeks, he seemed shocked and a little dissapointed. That was nice, made me
feel wanted. Then the new boss came to talk to me last Friday. He
mentioned that his wife will be having surgery in about a month. I didn't
ask him for what, and he never asked me. For all I know, she's having WLS.
I think it's sort of considered impolite to ask someone for medical
details. So now I'm just wondering what my new boss will think of my
weight loss and if/when one of my co-workers will clue him in. Just
thought I'd share my story now that I have one.
— kcanges
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