Question:
Did anyone write their obit...
just in case they died during surgery? I haven't even had my surgery consult or insurance approval yet, but I know I will be approved (BMI 49, diabetes, sleep apnea). I have always been the kind of person that prepared for possible outcomes. This past weekend, I sat down and wrote my obituary because I wanted to make sure all the information got included. I am also going to write my will before surgery. My wife says that I am being morbid and that I need to keep a positive attitude going in to surgery. I say that I am preparing for one of the possible outcomes. I would rather prepare and have everything turn out fine than have major complications and have no documents ready. Here's the question: AM I being morbid? Did anyone else worry (or obsess) about the possible outcomes? — badger411 (posted on May 14, 2003)
May 14, 2003
Some call it morbid, some call it prepared. Personally, I made all my
arrangements, and said everything I wanted to say, just in case.
Thankfully, I'm still here. No, I don't think you are being morbid. I think
you are being responsible, and you are doing a great service to your family
for taking care of things. I think that no matter what we are doing, our
time can come. I bought a life insurance policy a couple of years ago, when
I first started researching wls. I'm glad I did. I went into surgery
knowing that I had done everything I could do, and that made things a
little easier for me. Hope that helps you feel like you aren't alone!
— Diana L.
May 14, 2003
WELL, I DID NOT DO AN OBIT, BUT I DID MAKE SURE MY WILL WAS IN ORDER &
THAT I LEFT INSTRUCTIONS FOR WHAT I WANTED DONE. HOPEFULLY MY FAMILY WILL
NEVER SEE IT BUT I WANTED TO MAKE SURE EVERYTHING WAS TAKEN CARE OF. AS
LONG AS YOU DONT REALLY THINK YOUR GOING TO DIE, BUT JUST TREATING IT AS A
POSIBILITY I DONT THINK YOU ARE BEING MORBID. YOU HAVE TO REALISE THAT
PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU NEVER LIKE TO EVEN THINK ABOUT LOOSING YOU & SO ANY
PREPERATION ON YOUR PART IS NOT GOING TO GO OVER WELL.
— PATRICIA S.
May 14, 2003
I did not write an Obit. My wife new how I felt about our lives together,
financially we are already prepared for the death of either of us, and that
was enough for me. I do not put energy to 'possible bad outcomes', since
there was nothing I could do to prevent them I felt that would be wasted
worry and energy. I figured if anything went wrong, I would deal with when
it occurred. Fortunately, nothing did go wrong.
— [Deactivated Member]
May 14, 2003
I thought about writing something down, but chose to focus on the positive
instead. I suppose you could also look at it this way: have you ever
written your obit in case you did NOT have this surgery? How would you
explain to those you love tht you had the opportunity for a new lease on
life, but chose not to take it? To me, that seems like the more morbid and
tragic course of action. It's really normal to have some apprehensions
before surgery, but just be sure to give EQUAL TIME to all the POSITIVE
reasons for having this surgery. Write down all the things you'll be able
to do, or all the things you won't have to do once the weight is gone (like
ask for seatbelt extensions on airplanes - I HATE that one...) And stay in
touch with the AMOS group here. You'll find all the support you need.
Best of luck!!!
— momstah
May 14, 2003
You're not being morbid. It'll be easier to go into surgery if you know
you did your will, your living will (directive), and your letter of
instructions in the event of death (all much more important than an
obituary, but I think writing your obit is a great exercise in
self-examination). That way, you'll have them ready for someone to use
later ... MUCH ... when you die, 50+ years from now, slim, happy, and
after a good full life! ;~) Just be sure you have an attorney check over
your will, living will, and letter of instructions (or do enough research
to be sure they're in order and legally binding). It's understandable why
your wife and others might think it's morbid, but sometimes others' fears
get in the way of dealing with practicalities.
— Suzy C.
May 14, 2003
Inwrote goodbye letters, and final instructions. Hid them at home and had
my surgheon promise o tell jen where they were if I didnt make it. Do have
things in order but TRY to not dwell on it. I wasted nearly a year of my
kife worrying unnecessarily, thats time gone forever:( I think staying MO
is more dangerous than surgery!
— bob-haller
May 14, 2003
David... I am still pre-op like you. I am planning on writing a heartfelt
letter to everyone who is important to me. I have 3 children ages 8, 10,
and almost 2. I want them to understand why I decided to have this
surgery. If something were to go wrong I do not want them to hate me for
leaving them. I think if they understand my reasons for having WLS, it
will help them to heal. I am also taking a lot of pictures right now.
With my kids, my husband, my dad, and my best friend. I want everyone to
have pictures of me just in case. My mother passed away almost 3 years
ago. One of my biggest regrets is not having more pictures of her and I,
or her and my children. I want my kids to have plenty to remember me by.
Even if I absolutely hate having my picture taken...lol. I would rather be
to well prepaired then not prepaired enough.... Best of luck!
— Maria S
May 14, 2003
Personally, I did none of that. #1 I didn't want to scare my family half to
death. I figured they'd be scared enough without that added pressure. #2 it
seemed like a "feel sorry for me" kind of thing. I didn't want
that I wanted them to be happy for me. I WILL SAY, FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT
WANT TO DO THIS. I would write it, put it in a safe place that they might
find after your surgery and they know you are okay. That's just my opinion.
OPINIONS ARE LIKE NOSES EVERYONE HAS ONE.
— Jackiis
May 14, 2003
I don't think it is morbid...I actually increased my life insurance and I
plan on writing my family member's a letter and take it with me to the
hospital. I have no fear of dying and I already let my family know that it
is a possibilty. They do not like when I bring it up so I don't talk about
it anymore. I imagine when I get a surgery date and as it becomes more real
to me I will probably feel other things. For me, to live is Christ and to
die is gain. My family supports me in whatever I do but they just ask me
not to be too dramatic about everything...lol
— Shayla527
May 14, 2003
In my opinion who better to write my obituary than my family and friends.
The ones who know me better than I know myself.
— Audrey W.
May 15, 2003
David, This is just my opinion, maybe not an obituary, but having a Will
would be a responsible thing to do. My friend, Ginger Brewster, on the
memorial page of this website died after WLS and did not have a will or any
documents for arrangements. She honestly did not think that she was going
to die after having this surgery. She knew it was a possibility for anyone
having WLS, but she really didn't think that she would be one of the
statistics. She had NO idea that her untreated sleep apnea was SO
dangerous! I am mentioning this to you because I read that you had sleep
apnea; I hope you are being treated for it. Anyway, back to the subject:
again, just my opinion, an obituary may be somewhat on the morbid side, but
having a Will is just being responsible. Best of Luck to you for a safe and
successful surgery.
— Hackett
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