Question:
And I out of my mind to think I can keep it from them?

I don't plan on telling my family. Only my husband and my best friend know, and I had planned on leaving it that way. My family is very close. I have 6 brothers 5 older 1 younger and a older sister and all of them are tall (over 6 feet), thin and athletic. I turned out to be the short fat one. I know I would get support from one of my older brothers, but I definately will NOT get ANY support from my sister. Quite the contrary. She will notice the weight loss and will actively try to FEED ME. I'm not going to get into what that says, psychologically about her, but I need only positive feedback at this point. My husband has been behind me 110% and so has my girlfriend. Is it conceivable that I can do this without letting anyone else in on this?    — [Anonymous] (posted on May 14, 2001)

May 14, 2001
I, too, did not tell anyone except my husband, children, mother, and a few select other people -- but no one at work. I just told them I was having personal surgery that I'd rather not talk about. They were curious, but left it at that. It took 80# for anyone to notice -- since it was several months later, no one really put the two things together. The same with my family -- still, now 122# lighter, no one has mentioned it -- I guess they were so used to me yo-yo'ing. I did not think that anybody who did not have a weight problem could understand why I had to do this. I'm not sorry that I didn't tell anyone -- and if I do decide to tell someone later, that option is still open.
   — Audrey M.

May 14, 2001
Rest assured... you are not crazy... :-) I only told my mother... boyfriend... and my best girlfriend... and to explain a 5 day stay in the hospital I told my 6 siblings that I was having my gall bladder removed... which was the truth... just not ALL the truth... no one at work knew at all... Now at almost 2 years as a post op I am slowly informing my siblings one by one and close friends... I guess I did it this way so that I would not hear negative opinions... Today, with close to 100 pounds off and staying off, they can see my choice as a very positive one... This is very personal... Inform, if you decide to, at your own pace... Good Luck to You... Jo Ann
   — California J.

May 14, 2001
You can definitely do it without telling everyone. I had the surgery 8 weeks ago, and I have only told me parents, my daughter, and my two closest friends. No one at work knows. I told the people at work that I was having my gall bladder removed. I was back at work 2 weeks after the surgery (I had a lap DS). When we all went out to lunch, I ordered the smallest item on the menu. When I couldn't finish it, I just told people that my appetite hadn't returned since I had the surgery. No one questioned it. Now that my weight loss is noticeable, they just assume that the smaller portions are part of my weight loss plan.
   — Shannon M.

May 14, 2001
I had surgery 1/8/01 and there are only two people that know--my husband and my mother. It really was interesting when I disappeared for 3 days. My mother-in-law and best friend made a couple comments about how hard I had been to get in touch with. I am so glad that I have kept this private. I am losing rapidly. It gets a little awkward when people ask about how I am losing weight. I tell them that I don't eat sugar, and I am not eating as much. Also, I inform them that I am exercising. This seems to convince them. Although I don't mind the weight loss attention, I have never informed anyone of exactly how much I have lost. If I am asked 'How much have you lost?" my answer is "a lot". No one has yet to be so nosey as to follow my answer with a second request. I keep this number private for two reasons 1. I guess if I tell them that I have lost almost 90 pounds, then they will realize how big I actually was (isn't this ridiculous? LOL) and 2. It will increase their suspicion as to my method of weight loss. Who loses 90 pounds in 4 months on any conventional diet? I am very proud of those people that "shout it from the rooftops", but I am just not one of them. I have really enjoyed keeping this private. That way I don't appear different and don't have to field so many questions. Shelley
   — Shelley.

May 14, 2001
My husband is the only one who knows about my WLS. He has been very supportive. I chose not to tell my family, friends and coworkers because many of them would see this as too extreme a solution and the "easy way out". I did not need the additional emotional burden while I was trying to regain my health. As it stands 1 1/2 years out, they do not need to know. Everyone simply thinks I succeeded on one of my many diets and I'm sure is waiting to see my gain the weight back. This is a very private issue and you must handle it in the way that makes you feel the most comfortable and secure.
   — Sandy 2.

May 14, 2001
I haven't had surgery yet. No one but, my imediate family knows that I'm going too. It is my decision and mine alone. If people notice the weight loss, and they will, I will simply smile and say thanks for noticing. After all, it isn't any of their business how I did it.
   — Melissa S.

May 14, 2001
Coming from a very dysfunctional background- noone in my family knows I have had this surgery- I only told them I had my gallbladder out (which is true) and I follow a low fat, low carb, high protein diet (also true) and exercise like a fiend (really true!). They see me down 136 pounds and STILL offer me food all of the time! They are destructive for me to be around, let alone trust, and, yes, they are all overweight. You should tell people you feel safe telling. Good Luck!
   — M B.