Question:
How did you post op Moms handle your small children?
I have a 18 month old who will be two when I have surgery.I am a SAHM.How hard is it to do everyday things after one week of surgery? DH will have one week off and then I am on my own. I also work at a job that requires heavy lifting will I be able to still do that after surgery. I will be having a open gastric bypass. BTW she is a very active 2 year old. I also don't have very much family support. Thanks — Dana H. (posted on February 17, 2001)
February 17, 2001
Dana, Just had a LAP RnY and my son turned 2, three days after it. My
husband has taken one week off and that is a MUST!!! I do not forsee any
real dangers (except NO lifting). I have had to learn to do other things
with my son (besides rough and tumble) and it is working out fine. My son
is active but he is also a very intelligent youngter and knows when to stop
(of course we have to tell him, but he does it). He listens well and can go
get things if I can't reach them and can get his own drinks and stuff. He
does NOT like to play by himself, so I am up and down on the floor a lot,
which really has not been badm BUT I had a LAP. You might try to see if you
can get one extra week of help (maybe even part time) because you will be
tired and will need to rest during the day. As far as the heavey lifting -
NONE - until you are cleared by your doctor to do so. Even with my LAP, I
can not lift anything over 1 quart of milk until 4 weeks past surgery. Hope
this helps!! Good Luck!!! Jann
— paschool
February 17, 2001
Hi Dana! I,too am a stay at home mom and I have 4 children ages 13, twin 4
year-olds and a 9 month old. I am almost 6 weeks post-op open RNY. My
recovery has been smooth sailing and I bounced back especially quick. Here
is a little of my post-op experience: of course my 13 year old is
independent, my four year olds require attention. I was able to fix their
meals and help them dress as soon as I got home. Some things that I had
difficulty with--giving them their bath -although they could climb into the
tub, it was difficult for me to bend over and wash them I was able to do
this after about 3 weeks. They also go to preschool and I had to have my
husband help get them there and back because I was unable to put my baby
into the car seat. You may start to teach your 2 year old how to climb in
and out of her car seat by herself since you can't lift her. With my baby I
required more assistance. My mother came everyday and got him out of his
crib and brought him downstairs. Once, he was downstairs I was able to
pretty much do everything. He has a bouncy seat and a walker that I was
able to get him in and out of pretty easily after about 2 weeks. I ONLY did
this from a seated position. I have yet to pick him up or put him down
while standing. I would sit on the couch and drag him out of his walker and
put him on the coffee table to change his diaper. I also fed him in one of
these chairs- of course lifting him in and out of his high chair was
"illegal". Then each time he went to bed or got up from bed
someone had to carry him up or down the stairs. When he got up, I would
change his diaper or clothes while he was in his crib. Giving him a bath
was impossible since I would have to bend over the tub to put him into his
bath ring. Anytime I had to lift him after about 4 weeks, I would hold him
close to my chest/abdomen in order to not strain these muscles so much. My
doctor has a 15 pound lifting limit until 8 weeks and my little guy weighs
25!! I did feel a little like a burden and am extremely independent in
caring for my children otherwise. So, it was difficult to ask for so much
assistance. You will find that each day you can do more than you could the
day before. As far as needing rest? I am almost 6 weeks post-op and have
yet to take a nap!! A mothers work is never done!! 1/8/01 -45pounds. I hope
this will help you in some way. Shelley
— Shelley.
February 17, 2001
I too am planning on having wls in the next month or so(I just got verbal
approval yesterday) I am a SAHM of a very active 28mos old boy that weighs
around 50#. I kinda lucked out that my hubby just got laid off so he will
be around to help out (if you can call such a thing lucky). but if he
wouldn't be around I was planning on putting the gates up in the family
room(the child proof gates that they always seem to get down anyway). And
set up my recliner and make do until hubby got off of work or until the end
of the day when some one could come help(everyone in my family works cept
for me so it is hard to get a babysitter). You will work something out I'm
sure just be extra careful not to lift and to follow dr.'s directives. I
always said I'd make do during recovery cause I just keep thinking of how
healthy I'll be and how much fun me and my little one (not really so
little) will have once I start dropping the #'s.
Good Luck,
Bonnie
— Bonnie S.
February 17, 2001
What does SAHM stand for?????
— Betty Todd
February 17, 2001
Stay at home mom?
— S S.
July 31, 2001
Hi Dana;
When I had the surgery 5 months ago, I had a four year old and an 8 year
old. The 8 year old was very helpful in so many ways. It helped also that
my husband was home to help me for six weeks (he was recovering from a knee
injury). So together, even though we were both 'recovering', we helped
each other through the worst of our experiences. Other than teaching your
18 month old how to climb into and out of her carseat, you can probably
position the high chair near a step stool, so you can practice holding her
hand while she climbs into and out of that on her own. After you're done
with the high chair though, you should hide the stool so she can't try to
do it on her own. A light weight plastic one is easy to work with. For
the baths, you can invest in a slip proof bath mat, to make it easier for
her to climb in and out of the tub on her own. You can also try to make it
a game NOW to teach her how to wash herself up. I'm sure you can get
creative with that. With encouragement, creativity and desperation, you'd
be amazed at how helpful kids can be. Since children also want to cuddle,
I sat by the arm of the couch and my four year old climbed onto my thigh
and sat on the couch arm/my side to feel like he was cuddling with me.
Gotta' watch those elbows though, you might want to keep a small pillow
handy on the couch so if she does elbow you in your incision area, you can
prevent it with the pillow. While he was trying to get comfortable with
me, he did elbow me a few times. It didn't hurt me though. He learned
quickly that I had a 'big booboo' and that he had to avoid that area.
Probably the cuddling adjustment was the hardest on my four year old. When
they need to cuddle and they can't, it really hurts them and us mommies to
see them struggle with it. So good luck! Before you know it though,
you'll be through it and you'll wonder how you did it. Just handle it one
day at a time.
— Pamula T.
November 5, 2003
I duct tape them to the couch.
— Goldilauxx B.
November 5, 2003
Goldi,
Velcro is so much kinder.
Ann
— Ann B.
July 29, 2008
Hi there - i'm a military wife in Germany (read, no family for 5000 miles)
who's husband is currently in Iraq. I have a 3 year old angel and i had Lap
RNY 13 days ago...the only thing that i really needed was a neighbor to
help walk the dog for me and in Germany the surgeons do not believe in
narcotics so i'd imagine that if you're in the good old US of A, you'll
probably be sent home with a little bit of pain relief. At 2 weeks post op,
i feel great, no pain at all - i'm lifting moderately heavy items again (30
pounds) however, i wouldn't reccomend heavy lifting until the 6week mark
like most surgeons reccomend. The most difficult thing I can imagine for
you will be not picking your baby up for the first couple of weeks - but if
your hubby will be home for a week you should do just fine - be prepared
though, you may need a recliner to sleep in for the first 2-4 nights home
from the hospital as sleeping in bed can just be excrutiating. Good luck
with everything - if i can do it all by my lonesome, you should be fine!
— ashleyz1981
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