Question:
Teens & WLS?
I need the opinions of all the knowledgable post-ops, please! I am a few months away from wls myself and I have a long family history of obesity. Unfortunately, my 15 yr old daughter wasn't able to escape it either. Now my daughter is expressing an interest in wls for herself and I'm wondering if this is meant for someone like her. Her BMI is exactly 40. At 15, she has no co-morbs and really the only problems her weight is affecting is her social life which is very important to her at this age (sophmore in high school). She's already been on several diet plans such as Weight Watchers and Slim Fast and like all of us, has lost a few and gained a few more back.<p>The reason I asked for the opinions of the post-ops is because you've been thru wls and would have a better understanding of what my daughter would be getting into. I want to know if wls would require too much committment than a 15 yr old can handle. Would I doing her a service or disservice by altering her GI system at such an early age? This is a tough enough situation for an adult to handle, but what about a teen? If it was YOUR 15 yr old with a BMI of 40 who wants to be like the other girls and wants to wear cute clothes and wants a boyfriend someday, would you consider taking her to her doctor and possibly begin this journey for her too or would you wait til she's at least 18 to make this decision on her own? I want her to have as normal a life as possible, just not sure if that means WITH wls or WITHOUT. Thanks. — thumpiez (posted on September 8, 2002)
September 8, 2002
Sounds like you have thought long and hard about this. My surgeon has a
requirement that you be at least 18 with a history of failed diet attempts.
HOWEVER, I have heard of a few young ladies who have had the surgery. I
remember when I was in high school (not that long ago, graduated in 95) I
would have given anything to be thin and have a boyfriend. The hurt and
pain that I experienced in high school from being overweight (185 lbs, 5'
3") will always be with me. Would I have had surgery? Probably not.
What I wanted was to be normal. Having this surgery sets you apart from
everyone else. You no longer eat the same or have similar "teen"
issues like your friends. What is her maturity level, could she handle
something like this? Maybe her seeing you go through surgery may change
her mind. When she sees how little you eat and can't snack, will she feel
the same? If she does have the surgery, does she understand that this
won't guarantee her a happy high school experience or a boyfriend? I
myself am split. Good luck to you!
— Lucky Gal U.
September 8, 2002
This is a very good question. My 14 year old is gaining weight as I am
losing it. She is 5'5" and weighs, at last check, 181 pounds. I try to
tell her that she needs to cut back and eat more healthy but she really
doesn't seem to care. I feel bad when I keep losing weight and she seems to
keep gaining. I almost feel that this surgery has effected her in a
negative way, she sees me losing and her way of dealing with it is to eat
more. I don't know, and have never really considered her having this
surgery at such a young age (14). I see her having the same weight problems
as me in the future. She is very mature and I think she could adjust to the
afterlife of this surgery, but I don't know if I would want to be the one
to make the decision for her. She has never asked about having surgery for
herself. I think what I will do is just watch her for a couple more years.
If she continues to gain, then before she turns 18 I will talk to her about
it so that if she does want surgery she will be covered by our insurance.
— Kim B.
September 8, 2002
If your teen daughter wants weight loss surgery, please explore the lap
band. The surgery itself and long-term effects are so much safer and it
will not endanger her possible future children. It would be horrible for
her to die because she wants to look cute in her clothes. This may sound
harsh but RNY is not the only option.
http://blkbox.com/~phil/millieslapband/
— M. B.
September 8, 2002
I don't have kids (after all I'm only 20). However, I would like to add my
input as a young person. At 15, I already weighed 300lbs. I started my
first "diet program" at 8 years old and continued them all
throughout high school. I know what a struggle it is to be an overweight
child/teenager. Even though I'm only about 2 months post-op, I wish I
could have done this a long time ago. Buuuuuut, I'm not sure if surgeons
would perform surgery on such a young person. I know mine won't. You have
to be 18. Also, getting insurance to pay could be a problem too. Some
companies have an age requirement. My suggestion is to take her to your
PCP and talk to him or her about losing weight. I mean, there are new
prescription drugs that help with weight loss. Also, a dietician might
help. I'm not saying that WLS isn't the answer. But, at 15 I'm not sure
she's ready to make a decision that will affect her for the rest of her
life. And, the medically documented weight loss attempts will help her if
you all decide to pursue the surgery option. I do know how hard it is for
her though and I applaud you for exploring the options! Good luck to you
both =)
— Tanya B.
September 8, 2002
Even though I was hovering around 290-310 throughout high school, I don't
think I could have stuck with the rigid diet restrictions or the pain in
the beginning. This is a MAJOR life changing event. My surgeon has and will
do this surgery on teenages...his youngest cast was 14 or 15 I believe, but
this young man was at 500 pounds. In your daughter's case, even though I do
feel for her as high school was tough enough without social problems, I
don't think that being right at the bmi mark with no co-morbid would
warrant a life altering surgery. Maybe you could take her to a nutritionist
and sign her up for some sort of physical activity?? Then offer rewards of
clothing or makeup when she loses 10, 20, 30 pounds. :) Good luck!
— Paula Prichard
September 8, 2002
Christine, I'm 23 and am reaching my 6-week post-op mark. I can feel for
everything your daughter went through. I was approximately the same weight
as your daughter all the way through high school. I would not recommend
this for her, yet. I understand that the her weight problem has (and will
be) long-standing. She should not let her weight stop her. Tell her to
enjoy being 15. Like I said, I was the same weight as her. However, I did
it all. I was a member of the marching band, played in the pep band, was
involved with clubs (serving as an officer in a few cases), auditioned for
school plays, had a social life, had a B+ average, graduated 25th in my
class, anddddd got a scholarships to cover the cost of some of my college.
(As an interesting side note...I had lost all those due to my GPA my
sophomore year). Self-confidence has a lot to do with it. I would advise
your daughter to hold off. Enjoy her life for what it is and work on
molding the inside. Once she has an idea what the inside is going to be,
at that point she can consider working on the outside. Just my
input--Tiffany =)
— Tiffany D.
September 8, 2002
It's funny that you ask this now. I had an RNY last year and am at goal, my
two sisters each had RNY's last year also and are close to goal. Last week
my 13 year old daughter had a sleeve gastrectomy (also called a VG --NOT
VBG, or a partial gastrectomy). Her BMI was 52 and she has many
co-morbidities including pre-diabetes and heart disease with a strong
family history of both. I soul searched for a long time struggling with the
same issues--changed anatomy--more diet? The simple fact is, she has dieted
since age 7 and was on the same cycle as myself. We chose the sleeve
gastrectomy for her because it's purely restrictive and she would still
absorb all her nutrients. We didn't choose the lap band because we didn't
want to deal with port maintenence on such a young person. We had to
self-pay, but are fighting it. She's home from surgery and doing GREAT.
She's lost 20 lbs already and she NOW gets to look forward to not only the
health benefits but the social benefits too. Hopefully, she will live the
rest of her life as a "normie" just as we all wish we could have.
She is tolerating all the diet restrictions well and already feels that it
is a success. The sleeve gastrectomy is the 1st half of the duodenal
switch--the stomach is made about 3-4 oz. and the rest of the stomach
removed. There is no re-routing of the intestines. It can be revised in the
future to a full DS or an RNY if she does not obtain the weight loss she
needs. We felt this was the best option for an adolescent with her health
needs. There is a lot of research out there on this procedure--look for the
"Mangenstrasse and Mills" procedure. Email me privately if you
want more information, but please if you're gonna flame me, keep it to
yourself--I'm not interested. Thank you. :)
— sandieguy
September 8, 2002
I don't mean ANY disrespect but if your daughter came to you and said she
wanted to have plastic surgery, a nose job, an abdominoplasty, lipo, or
breast enhancement what would you answer her? Do you think she's old
enough to make permanent changes to her body, having a major surgery that
will affect the rest of her life, old enough to decide on the risks of
having any operation (including the possibility of death)? Plus with this
surgery it abviously comes with its own set of complications (just read all
the posts from newbys asking for help with their problems). And from what
researchers say, there is a distinct possibly it can shorten our lifespans.
I've thought about this question for hours now and wanted to chime in and
point out that at this point in her life its elective surgery, not life
saving yet. This hits home for me in that my "little one" not so
little now at 170 lbs and just over 5' now has a somewhat scewed view of
things after seeing the results I've had having my abdominoplasty &
lipo while still really heavy. She is shaped just like I was, a spitting
image. I've worked with her on diet & we do an exercise program
together. What she's learned unfortunately is that dieting & exercise
are slow and tedious, my surgery was almost instant. I HOPE I've managed
to ingrain that the surgery came with pain and its own costs. And we STILL
have to diet & exercise. This may even be harder to ingrain when my
mom has her abdominoplasty next year. Although she's younger than your
daughter, once she started asking questions to me regarding herself &
surgery I set an age limit of "18" for her because I have to ask
myself the exact same question as I posed to you at the beginning of this.
And it isn't a question I feel comfortable with. I hope that maybe looking
at this from the point of a different surgery can help you feel more
comfortable in your decision.
— Shelly S.
September 8, 2002
Thank you all so much for your comments, opinions, and suggestions. I
needed to hear from people with wisdom in this situation to see it from all
angles. My daughter is a big girl at 5'9" and weighing approximately
275 right now. She has read most of the responses here and has been with
me from the beginning doing research and has been by my side through every
doctor's appointment and pre-op test so far. We have dicussed wls many,
many times, for me, for her, and in general and I think we've made a
decision for now. I will probably have my gastric bypass surgery in
December. She's going to start the Atkins diet when I have my surgery and
begin my new lifestyle changes and that way we're eating basically the same
stuff and the bad stuff can stay out of the house entirely. We're going to
both join the local gym and get into the habit of swimming and walking
several times a week. Giving all these lifestyle changes time to start
working, we'll re-evaluate things next summer when she's out of school
again and go from there. She will also have a birthday by then (March) and
at 16 I'd feel a little more comfortable with her helping to make such
lifestyle decisions. I thank you all again for your help :-)
— thumpiez
September 9, 2002
If I could relive my Teen years thin...I would have done the surgery. I am
sure my parents would have never let me, and If you are this open minded
you must be a great mother. Haveing a fat childhood is horrible and
exsohsting. The Doctors may make her wait, but having you loosing weight
will help her also.
Good luck
— sadierussell
September 9, 2002
Christie......you know your daughter best...her maturity level, her
strengths and weaknesses, what she can and can't do...I'm 20 and have
already had this surgery, but I researched it for 4 years before I did it
to make sure I knew what I was getting myself into....personally I think
letting her wait about a year, to let her see what you go through etc.. and
fully understand what she would be getting herself into would be a good
idea...then you can make a better decision. Just a thought. :)
— Jennifer M.
September 9, 2002
I had my first wls at age 16. I started out at 246 and wound up at 139.
It was a VBG and worked wonderfully for a couple of years and then I
started gaining it back. My surgeon had retired, and my Mother wouldn't
hear of finding another one. It was all my fault again. 16 years later I
discovered the problem. A staple line disruption. If my Mom would have
been more supportive back then, I wouldn't have wound up at 355 and stuck
at 183 now. I would have loved to have had that revision before I gained
all my weight back. If your daughter is mature and the surgeon agrees, go
for it with her. Just offer her your unconditional support.
— [Deactivated Member]
September 9, 2002
i had my surgury (VBG)2 weeks ago. i have been obese my entire life. But
all through school i was popular, made decent grades, had lots of friends,
and yes, even had boyfriends - big guys and normal size guys. My senior
year of high school I was student council president and part of the foreign
exchange program. Everybody knew me. I was not ridiculed, or made fun of.
Why? Because i had self confidence. Everyone around me didn't care what
size i was because i didn't make an issue of it either. And i never got to
wear 'cute clothes'. I had to have my grandmother make my Junior and
Senior prom dresses because they didn't make formals in my size in our
town. But i still went, with a date.
Tell your daughter that she is beautiful, encourage her to find friends
that won't judge her. And tell her to get involved with school activities
and make herself be like the other girls. Cute clothes do not make her
popular and likeable. When she is older, let her make the decision then.
This is a difficult journey and i can't imagine having to deal with school
and this at the same time.
— salymsmommy
September 9, 2002
Hi there...even though I'm still pre-op I wanted to comment. It seems like
just yesterday I was 15! (I'm 23 now)Trust me I completely know how awful
it is to be an overweight teen. I was tormented all thru middle school and
parts of high school about my weight. I had very few friends and just felt
like I didn't exsist. The social isolation was unbearable at times. (My
profile elaborates a little more) However, I know at 15 I definetly
couldn't have handled this life change. I did lose alot of weight when I
was 16, but since I used food as a way to cope with my struggles I gained
it all back plus way more. Having the surgery just to wear cute clothes and
catch boys attention isn't going to work. In my case I have an anxiety
disorder. I've been in therapy for 2+ years and it's taken that long to
change my thoughts about myself. I now have a good handle of why I overeat
and have made some good steps to change the bad habits. Cause even if she
loses lots of weight she's still the same person underneath the fat, and
she may have a hard time with lots of issues. I lost weight when I was a
teen cause I thought all of a sudden people would like me. Don't get me
wrong I'll be thrilled when I'll be able to shop at normal stores and wear
more flattering clothes. But I really want to do this now cause I have a
strong family history of diseases and I want to live a longer life and not
have food consume it. I want to do this for myself not to please other
people. If your daughter is really ready maybe working with a therapist
will help. Plus as you've seen from other posts not all overweight people
lived restricted lives. I had extremely low self esteem back then, but I
have a friend who's close to my size and had a great time in high school.
She had tons of friends, lots of normal sized boyfriends, and participated
in lots of activites. Yes people judge others by their looks, but a shining
personality definetly makes a big difference. I've learned a lot by being
her friend. Maybe a "good role model" will help as well. Sorry to
post so much but your post really hit home. Hope I've helped and feel free
to E-mail me :)
— mzcath
Click Here to Return