Question:
I dont want anyone at work to know, How can I keep this quiet?

I already told one woman I was looking into it. Her being overweight herself has been very interested and keeps asking for updates since ive been so excited it has been hard not to share, but now it is a reality and I have a surgery date, i worried she is going to tell. Im not sure i can trust her not to tell the others in the office and have it get back to my boss. I was going to say iwas having a gallbladder operations and tell later, but im afraid she will tell and ill look like a liar...    — Michelle G. (posted on June 6, 2001)

June 6, 2001
Hi Michelle, congrats on your surgery date. If you haven't yet told her that you have a date and if you are going to have your gb removed at the same time, then technically you're not lying. And so what if you're not having your gb removed, it's your business and if you feel uncomfortable letting anyone know before the fact, then you really owe no one an explanation. Go ahead, tell them your taking a vacation, tell them you're going to have gb operation, better yet, tell them nothing. If and when you are comfortable letting others know, then you'll tell them all in your own time. You can bet that if it were her, she would probably do the same thing. I wish you all the best.
   — dandjon

June 6, 2001
When the weight starts to drop off of you at a rapid pace you can be sure they are going to know anyway. A woman at my work place didn't want anyone to know but when she dropped 200 pound after her vacation we all knew with out asking. I've shared my desire for weight loss surgery with my coworkers and have gotten a lot of support. I have a few people considering the surgery if it goes well for me.
   — pokergirl59

June 6, 2001
I told people I was having "female surgery" and did not elaborate. I was prepared for if someone asked for more details to say to them that I wasn't comfortable talking about it. No one asked. I told one or two people (not from work) that I was having surgery for uterine fibroids. I am 7 1/2 weeks post op. Now I will tell who I want what I choose. It's easier telling people after the fact. At that point it's too late for them to give you unwanted and unhelpful (but well meaning) judgements, advice and opinions. It's a whole lot easier telling people afterwards and even then you should tell only who you feel comfortable telling. Try to remember that people you work with most certainly don't tell you all of their personal business and you don't owe it to tell them yours. Some pre-ops are fine telling everyone and that's fine. It's a very personal choice and whatever you decide, it will be right for you. As far as that women from work, maybe you can tell her it's on the "back burner" for now and hopefully she'll drop it. There will be plenty of time to fill her in afterwards. You're not a liar because you want to keep your personal medical information to yourself. This is a very important time to put your needs first. Congrats on your surgery date. I've lost 40 lbs in the first 7 weeks with a Lap RNY. Best of luck to you!
   — [Anonymous]

June 6, 2001
From my experience this is what I can tell you- be very careful who you tell if you don't want anyone to know at your office. I made the mistake of telling 3 of what I thought were my best friends and co- workers. One of them became angry with me and has went around and not only told the admin. at work but have told people that we both know outside of work. Boy, have I learned my lesson. When I go for lunches with work people, now the supervisors all watch what I eat and make comments to me about the amounts that I eat- I get so nervous that I end up vomiting everything I eat after I am with them. I know my reasoning for not wanting people to know and I feel VERY betrayed by the woman that took my personal things and made them gossip. So again I will say PLEASE BE CAREFUL!!! Best of luck to you and take care....
   — [Anonymous]

June 7, 2001
You know that it really is none of anyone's business what your medical things are. It is wrong for any of our bosses to ask what we are going to have surgery for. My doc put abdominal surgery on my paper that I needed for my supervisor at work. I believe that it may even be illegal for the "higher-ups" to ask. Please advise if anyone knows this. I think that I remember my phsycologist telling me that. Good luck.
   — [Anonymous]

June 7, 2001
I thought about keeping my surgery a secret, but I'm so happy with who I am now, that I find I want to share it with everyone who asks. And everyone asks. I simply say I had weight loss surgery and leave it at that unless they ask for more details. Because of my success, I have a close friend who is approved and waiting for her sleep apnea results. A lady in my bank called me aside one day and quizzed me and now has a surgery date. My cousin who outweighed me by a 100 pounds had lap RNY done 2 weeks ago. I have another cousin fighting with her insurance company for approval. If my success can help those people to be as happy as I am now, there is no way I would advise you to keep this a secret. Relax and enjoy the ride. I can tell you I wouldn't have missed it for the world!
   — marciejayne