Question:
Am I being too vain and concerned about the little stuff?

I will be going in for a body lift in september, and everything is going well I am prepped and everything. But then the *vain* fear of how the scar would look afterwards crept in and made me wonder. I had the same question before my open rny but felt I could handle it because the weight was too much to bare. Thanks to some injections its flat and you cant even notice it. However the body lift will be a continuous scar all the way around the waist, and I was wondering what would my significant *other* think when I drop my clothes and theres a huge scar all the way around my body like a belt! I was even thinking I could get some of that non-wash off make up to cover it up...but began to think am I too consumed with how I should look and what should be acceptable to others and not to myself?Every since I was heavy I have been overly concerned about my appearance in clothes and naked. Now that my appearance is perfect with clothes on, the skin that hangs and sags on my thighs/stomach/butt when I'm naked has become a concern...not to mention the rashes and back pain.I just wanted to get some feedback from other wls surgery patients who have or have had this fear and what they did to compensate or get over it.    — Miko P. (posted on August 23, 2003)

August 23, 2003
I'm just 6 months out and have lost 90 pounds as of August 11th. I only weigh on the 11th of every month. I'm 20 pounds to goal. I know I have far less weight to loose than you already have, but I would think you and only you can make this decision on a body lift. I'm sure, if I had weighed 80-100 pounds more .... I know I would want to have it, but that is me. Funny, how we think of these things afterwards, but never think how we must look or have looked with clothes off before the surgery and being 100-200 pounds overweight...I know being obese is different than sagging skin afterwards, but it's only "You" that you have to please, before anyone else. You knew you wanted this surgery to get you healthy again and it will be you that will want/not want body lift. Do this for yourself. Make your decision based on this and not what others think or like. Good Luck in whatever you choose. You have already been blessed, by having this surgery and loosing 180 pounds! Congratulations!!! Lap RNY....2/11/03....250/160/140
   — Hazel S.

August 23, 2003
I understand how you feel. I don't see anything wrong with being a little vain, (of course that might not mean much comeing from someone that's a little vain herself, lol,) as long at it doesn't get in the way of living your life fully. I myself take pride in my appearance, even as a fat chick. Believe me if it weren't for the comorbidities, I might not have even bothered with the surgery. I am just as concerned with my body appearance as I am withloosing the weight, I can deal with the scars, because I have to, I tend to develope keliods and its not a pretty sight. I'm thinking about camouflaging my scars with tatoos. Just kidding. Honestly what I think about how a significant other is going to see me is, he better take the good with the bad, as I'm doing this for my well being. Wear your scars proudly girlfriend and if you decide to use that cover up make up, so what, do you wear face make up, same thing to me. I even went on ebay to see how much they were selling the body cover makeup for, there were some pretty good deals.
   — Rosa F.

August 23, 2003
What's the alternative - live with the hanging skin? That has to look worse than any kind of scar. In time the scar will fade. Consider it your battle scar - your battle with weight and it represents that you won that battle. Anyone who is truly worth being intimate with will accept you as you are and know how hard you worked to have a new healthy life. Cut away and be proud of what you have accomplished.
   — zoedogcbr

August 23, 2003
Boy - can I relate to how you feel. I chose to have my RNY done lap, primarily because I couldn't handle the thought of the scar you get with it done open. Now I'm having an abdominoplasty next month, and I've also struggled with the thought of the scar. In my case, I've decided the scar is the lesser of two evils. Everyone can still see my fat tummy - even with clothes. The only people who will see my scar will be those I choose to be intimate with, as even a bathing suit will hide it. My thinking on this is - if they're turned off by the scar, imagine how turned off they'd be by the hanging skin! And if they're so shallow as to be turned off by the scar, then I highly doubt they would be the kind of people I would want to be intimate with. I never took pre-op photos before by RNY. I have enough memories of what I looked like and how I felt, and had no need for reminders. However, I am planning on taking photos before the plastic surgery (thank God for digital cameras), so that if I ever find myself obsessing over the scar, I will look at those pictures to remind myself of what the alternative was. I don't consider myself vain, but I did remark to someone recently that this upcoming surgery is probably the most selfish thing I have even done in my life, as it benefits absolutely no one but me. But it also hurts no one - and there's nothing wrong with doing something for yourself once in a while. I deserve the right to not be ashamed of my body - and I've waited almost 46 years for that right. Good luck. I hope everything turns out the way you want it to.
   — Cyndie K.

August 25, 2003
I just had my batwings cut off almost 2 months ago. The scars look like someone tried to whack my arms off!! However, after having my tt last year and see the red scar for a few months, it's now a fine white scar (which thank god I'm the pastiest of white girls so it really doesn't show!!). I figure this time next year, the scars under the armpits will be the same way. It's a waiting game. I can wait. I've waited all my life to look this good so a few more months isn't going to hurt me!!
   — Patty H.