Question:
How have you handled business engagements involving dining?

I travel about one week a month and I generally have to entertain prospects and customers by taking them out to lunch or dinner. I have some apprehension regarding this aspect of my job after WLS. My main concern is the first few months after surgery.    — David U. (posted on July 3, 2001)

July 3, 2001
I wouldn't be to concerned about this, I mean it is a business meeting and these people probably don't know your eating habits even if they do just order something light and say that your stomach is bothering you or something. Just keep busy talking and I'll bet no one notices a thing. Best of luck
   — Lisa B.

July 3, 2001
I just order something small - maybe a salad/soup. Last time I travelled and went to lunch with our clients, I ordered an item a la carte and because we were busy talking, they really didn't notice that I wasn't eating much of it. Just make sure you don't get too side-tracked with talking that you don't chew well enough and eat too fast...I was worried about that but so far, so good.
   — T.L. S.

July 3, 2001
I've become a master at using my fork or chopsticks or whatever to arrange the food on my plate in such a way that no one realizes how little I've actually eaten. If they do (and mind you, this is really rare), I just say something like "Well, the conversation was so <I>fascinating</I> that I simply didn't get around to eating much." Okay, maybe not that cheesy. But you get the picture. ;^)
   — Suzanne B.

July 3, 2001
I'm with Suzanne, but girls can get away with a little more of that, I suspect. Tricks I have used to keep any disasters from happening? I eat no milk or sugars, of course, so no accidents that way. And these days, everyone is "dieting", so you can slide out from under dessert by tapping your middle & grinning, and that's at 400# or 110#. At first, salad was very iffy for me, maybe gas, maybe not. Now, it is my safety dish. If I don't like what is there, don't know what it will do, I order salad & I really do enjoy it. Lots of busyness, not much volume. I put the fork down betwen many of the bites and use the napkin, which also slows me down and makes me look continuously busy. If I am worried that I will overeat, I order something I do not like, then I can be sure I will pick at it. For me, the danger of overeating is quite real. I'm many years post-op, so I forget I am not normal and get talking & eating, eating & talking and uh-oh. I almost always have a protein drink before eating to take the edge of my appetite. In your biz environment, people are probably not noticing, but if they are, they are going to assume you are dieting (since you are still pre-op, right?), then once you've reached your "fighting wt", assume you are maintaining. Relax. Take a deep breath. It's easier than you think.
   — vitalady

July 3, 2001
I was apprehensive about going out to lunch with co-workers post-op, as I did not tell them about the surgery. I was sure that everyone would notice that I was eating less and eating different things than I did before surgery. No one noticed, or if they did, they must have figured I was just dieting again...no one has said anything. I think they are much more interested in what is happening on their own plates!
   — Anne G.

July 3, 2001
David, I can appreciate the fact that since you are a man that your business prospects would definitely notice if you just ordered a "girly" salad or just soup (feel free to slam me for being stereotypical...I'm a black woman so stereotypes are familiar to me). Anyway, I think the only thing I would say if someone were to inquire about my order would be "I had abdominal surgery so I'm watching what I eat" That's all you need to say. I am a business woman who will find myself in your same predicament. I know though, that it is socially acceptable for me to just say I'm on a diet or even for me to only order soup and for people not to be suspect. I plan to order salad/soup or a healthy appetizer and if asked will politely reply "I'm watching what I eat" and leave it at that. Good luck and please feel free to email me offline if you'd like to compare business stories.
   — Kimberly L.

July 3, 2001
David, I agree with all the suggestions about what to order but I am going to go at this from the etiquette point of view. Certainly I would order something light like the soup or salad idea but, I would definately let my guest order first as I wouldn't want them to feel at all obligated to just get a "small" meal because you are. I might even ask for just a plain small chicken breast broiled and some plain veggies. You might even call the restaurant ahead of time to make sure that they can accomodate you. Most good restaurants are happy to make these changes for you. Just make sure that you don't make a big deal of it and just order what you can eat. I doubt that most people would be so rude as to question what you are eating. Just make sure that they order drinks and food before you do so as not to make them feel uncomfortable.
   — Barbara H.