Question:
Depressed about not ever being able to eat what you want?
I am pre op, my surgery is in 3 weeks. I may be way off base here, but I am struggling with the fact that after surgery, I will never be able to eat "good things" any more (which are actually bad things) even once in a while. I'm not saying that I want to continue to eat the way I do now, but how do all you post ops out there handle never being able to have what you want EVER? — Jackie S. (posted on July 16, 2003)
July 16, 2003
I am 1 year post-op RNY. You have to realize the reason alot of people were
or is OBESE is our relationship to food. Although I went on several last
minute eating sprees I still miss my relationship with food. You will
eventually be able to eat bad things again just in moderation. I still to
this date cannot eat hamburgers which was my big thing pre-op, how I deal
with it I look at myself in the mirror and would not trade anything to go
back and be Morbid Obese again. To answer your question it is a constant
struggle EVERYDAY a very mental thing. 5'9 294/170/165
— HelpMeRhonda !!
July 16, 2003
You have the same concerns I had. I am just under 4 mos post-op and I eat
out alot for work. I have not been depressed at all regarding my inability
to eat certain foods. I just don't care for them anymore. I have a bigger
problem with coping with my brain which says "eat everything on your
plate". Check my diary page for a very funny restaurant story. I also
have a problem with taking smaller portions at buffet's. I take what I
think is small, and it turns out that once I start eating, it wasn't small
enough. It doesn't depress me, (because the 58lb loss makes me happy) but I
have to "think" before I order or dish-out food.
— M B.
July 16, 2003
I'm 17 months postop. After about 8 months I was pretty much able to eat
anything I wanted, and I still do, only in much smaller quantities. Some
things do give me slight tummy aches but they are the things I should
really be staying away from like cake & ice cream. I honestly enjoy
going out to eat much more now, I can eat a healthy sized plate and truly
know what my limit is and manage to leave a restaurant not feeling
miserably full. Also something else to consider that happens to most folks
is that your taste for certain type foods changes after surgery.
Somethings you loved before surgery you find you no longer crave or care
for and you discover new tastes that you never thought you would like.
Give yourself at least a full 6 months before you judge what your eating
habits have become after this surgery. I think you will be pleasantly
surprised.
— SARose61
July 16, 2003
since about 5 or 6 months out I've eaten pretty much whatever I want to -
just most things I don't WANT to anymore. I've had a big mac, a
big-n-tasty, a chicken quesadilla, a taco, homemade fajitas, sandwich, a
hershey's dark chocolate bar. Mind you these were all eaten over the
course of SIX MONTHS lol and not as part of my regular diet. I'm no saint
and the reason I needed this surgery is I do NOT diet well. If I did, I'd
probably have never gotten to this point. I have learned that with so
little room, I do need to make better choices 90% of the time, but I
certainly don't do without things I really REALLY want.
— [Deactivated Member]
July 16, 2003
I would have had this surgery three years ago except that I struggled with
your struggle about not being able to eat certain things, and to so
severely restrict the amount of food I could eat when I go out to a special
dinner. I eventually came to grips with it because my diabetes and blood
pressure were getting increasingly out of control, and I knew I could no
longer afford the luxury of having free access to all kinds of foods in
large amounts. Also, being diabetic, I had eliminated most sweets from my
diet over the years. I realized that, if I could do that, I could do this.
It has not really been that much of a problem for me. I do not crave
high-fat, high-sugar foods (at least not yet). The only food that I used
to eat that I can no longer tolerate and still want is peanut butter. I
can live with that. When I go out to eat, or at a barbeque, I wish I could
eat more of the good food, but I'm learning to deal with that, too. When
I'm full, I'm full, so I'm getting used to limiting my portions. I'm sure
from where you are this still looks like a huge problem. But, if you're
anything like me, it won't be as hard as you're imagining. I now regret
not having the surgery years ago, but I just wasn't ready then. You'll be
OK!
— Vespa R.
July 16, 2003
Jackie, you CAN have whatever you want down the road, its just in smaller
quantities. With me, if I crave something 'bad' like a hamburger from
MCdonalds, I have one. Hamburgers were my big thing too and it took me
about a year before I could tolerate the bread. Its weird though, once you
satisfy that craving, its a LONG time before it will sound good again, plus
its never as good as you imagine it will be! Its been about 6 months since
my last McD's craving and I used to go there every week preop! Its a myth
that you can't ever have anything like that again. Your attitude about food
does change, (for me anyway) and I think about my choices now.
— Kris T.
July 16, 2003
I went on a health kick months before my WLS was even scheduled. I cut out
sodas and most junk foods. There are not many things I miss because I dump
on so much now that just the thought of eating some things makes me ill.
What I do miss is not being able to eat AS MUCH as I could. I still want
to clean my plate. When it gets me down, I sit and write out the pros and
cons of having WLS. Guess what, the pros win and I dont feel so sad
anymore. As for the never being able to eat "the good stuff"
anymore, you still may be able to. I have ate at fast food joints, baked
chips, sugar free cookies and candy, no sugar added ice cream, ect... You
will find that stuff you loved before you could care less about now so dont
sweat it. You will be fine. ~Sidney~ Open RNY 10-23-02 down 100+ and
counting
— Siddy I.
July 16, 2003
I'm a lot further out than most of you (at 3+ yrs post op from my
revision). I can pretty much eat whatever I want with the exception of
dairy and cake. Thing is, I don't CRAVE the things I used to. I used to
be a chocoholic and loved cookies and chips. Now, they are no big deal.
The only time I have second thoughts is when I'm at a chinese buffet. So I
either eat what I can hold, or I get a to-go buffet and have several meals
off of it. I can honestly say there are times when I don't care if I eat
or not. If I'm hungry I'll eat, if I'm not I don't. Hope this helps!
— Kellye C.
July 16, 2003
Like most of the other posters say, your tastes do change once you've had
surgery. I found earlier on post-op I still had some cravings that drove
me nuts. I wanted icecream, sweets, soda-- just generally bad stuff. The
further out from surgery I get (9 mon), the less these things entice me.
Calorically, they're just not worth it. Also, I find that if I do have a
bite of something "forbidden" it just doesn't taste that good
anymore. For the most part, I eat "normal" just in very small
quantities.
If I impose upon myself a "I'll never eat XXX..." attitude, I
start to get kind of crazy & the cravings get stronger and I get
weaker. So follow my surgeon's guideleines, I eat sensibly, I exercise
regularly. And for those rare times when I do have a slice of pizza or a
few bites of something indulgent, I never beat myself up. I think that a
lot of this boils down to our emotional attachment to foods. For that end
of things, there's no shame in seeing a therapist. Very best of luck to
you!
— Rebekah B.
July 16, 2003
I think this is where a lot of "Last Supper Syndrome" comes from.
I'll never be able to eat__________again, so I better eat it now! Guess
what - it's not true in most cases. I am 9 months out and agree with other
posters - you may not want certain foods anymore, even though you can eat
them. I must have chocolate sometimes - and I can eat it, but not like I
used to. I used to love ribs - haven't had them, or the desire for them,
since surgery. Steak is another story. I loved it before surgery and it
took several months before I was able to eat it again, but now I can, and
enjoy a small steak now and then. Real ice cream was an every night habit
before surgery. I don't dump on sugar, but prefer a Blue Bunnie sugar free
ice cream bar now and then, to real ice cream. Doritos - could eat 'em by
the bag full. I can still eat them but prefer little BBQ rice cakes for a
spicy salty, treat. You will be able to eat "the good things" a
while after surgery - and this is where the "failures" occur.
People regain the weight by eating the "good stuff" more and more
instead of the stuff that is good for us. That's why this surgery is a
tool, not a cure-all.
— koogy
July 16, 2003
Pre-op I wanted foods because I labeled them as "bad". I would
feel deprivation which would lead to more eating, guilt, eating, guilt,
deprivation, etc.... Post op, I have given up the diet mentality. I DO eat
whatever I want!!! My surgeon has NEVER had me diet. i have never counted
a calorie or fat gram...ever!!! I can not tell you how liberating this is.
Really, I can eat whatever I want. I anm 2 1/2 years post op and
maintaining effortlessly and without exercise. I am finally FREE !!!
Shelley
— Shelley.
July 16, 2003
As has been pointed out, many post-ops can eat anything they want,
eventually. I can -- I never dump and I have never hurled, even at 13.5
months out (hope I'm not cursing myself now). YMMV (your mileage may
vary), though. It is not the case that you can't eat junk foods after this
surgery, though it may be weeks or months before you even try to do so (or
want to). I will admit that, once in awhile, it bugs me when I can't
finish something that I'm not going to take home with me from a restaurant
(like, I'd like to be able to eat half of a waffle instead of a quarter of
a waffle). But usually, if I want something, I can have it, and the trick
is not wanting or having the "empty" calories too much or too
often once you find you can have it. Which you will. ;-)
— Suzy C.
July 16, 2003
i think, at least for me, that the difference between 'eating to live' and
'living to eat' is what we finally experience. i don't seem to dump, (but
i've been told by my support group that that could change at any time) at
more than 8 months now, and down 120 lbs, i haven't felt deprived.
previously, when i would have a food craving, i would try to substitute
something else, something more 'acceptable', more 'dietetic'... and eat
that, and more, and finally wind up eating that object i had been craving.
now, my pouch space is so precious that i won't waste it with substitutes,
and find that the one or two bites of the object of some craving more than
satisfies me (but, i do recognize that 'treats' are not everyday fare, and
i don't keep my personal triggers in the house, at all... that would be
tempting fate a bit much) btw,if that seems a bit inconsistant, it is....
such is any compulsion...
— tuxedoll
July 16, 2003
Jackie, I was one of those who thought like you pre-op, that I would never
be able to have my chocolate or cheesecake or fast foods again. so, I went
on a last supper binge in the weeks leading up to my surgery and gained a
good 10 pounds. At 17 months post-op and able to have all my all favs, I
sincerely wish someone had given me the advice the others have provided to
your question. The beauty of this surgery is that I no longer crave some
of the old favorites, I indulge in some of them and certainly eat much
smaller amounts of them when I do! All this while maintaining my weight
loss.
— Cindy R.
July 16, 2003
I felt that way also. After surgery you wont want to eat anyways. My
cravings came back after my 6th month out and I do alot of dumping now! I
still eat alot of good things, but they are just different good things. I
can even eat 1 cookie now or a couple bites of cake. I do still have one
bad habbit and thats chips, I eat them almost everyday. Now that my weight
has slowed down I gain and lose the same 5lbs over and over until I finally
lose another pound. I feel like I eat way too much now, I graze all day and
night and I feel if I returned back to old habbits(first 6mo), I would hit
my goal weight. Good luck to you! 10mo post-op open rny lost 126# only 7#
to goal :o)
— Sandy M.
July 16, 2003
I'm 20 months post-op and eat anything and everything I want. You just
don't eat as much. It hasn't hurt me or my weight loss. I don't think you
should ever deprive yourself of anything - just eat a couple of bites and
stop.
— Patty H.
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