Question:
Single Mom that needs to know how long I should plan on having help with my child?

I am a single mother of a 3 1/2 year old son. I need to know how long I should plan on having him at friends and family's homes? I also need to know how long I should plan on taking off from work? I sit at a desk and design log homes so it isn't like Im lifting and standing all day.    — cutewhitegirl (posted on April 15, 2003)

April 15, 2003
Hi Billie, One thing I have learned is that everyone's recovery can be really different. Just like many other things involved with this surgery. I would say, two weeks for your son. That is if as long as you don't have to pick him up (then I'd say longer). I found that I could care for myself just fine, but forget trying to care for anyone else. As far as your work goes, again, at least two weeks. That would be a minimum. If possible I'd take 3 to 4 weeks off. I took LOTS of naps for about 3 months. Best of luck!
   — Stacy L.

April 15, 2003
I would get as much help as you can round up, for as long as you can get it. Then, you can determine how you feel, and if you even NEED all the help. I'd also plan on taking as much leave from work as you can take, and then you can always go back sooner if you feel like it. Personally, I took care of my 4, 8, and 12 year olds when I came home from the hospital, while my husband was at work. My 12 year old was a GREAT help. Even if you just had an older neighbor kid come over and entertain your little one, that would be a good time for you to take a nap. Hope that helped! :)
   — Diana L.

April 15, 2003
Billi, I would say atleast a week. But I was wondering, if famly/friends are willing to have your son stay there, would they be willing to stay over your house for a week or two? That way your son can be with you, but you could use the help for both yourself and your son. If you could do that, he wouldn't miss you as much. I know when I was that young I couldn't go a day without my mommy! Also, if you do that, I would still wait a week, the first week is the worst and you probably don't want him to see you in pain and so fatigued. It will be a few weeks atleast before you'll be able to pick him up, and you may not have the energy to do the normal things. You don't realize how much you use your stomach until you can't! Goodluck to you!
   — Lezlie Y.

April 15, 2003
I am a stay at home mom to 4 boys. My biggest concern were the 2 youngest they had just turned 1 and 2 the month before my surgery. My doctor said that I could not lift them for 6 weeks but I took care of them after the first week. My husband stayed with me the first week and then my oldest son was out of school the next week (he is 15, gotta love PCOS it spread my kids out). Anyway I did have someone to help lift the youngest but my 2 year old did just fine because he walks and can climb into his little bed all by himself. So I would make sure that you have help for at least the first week and then see how you feel.
   — Haziefrog

April 17, 2003
Billie, I hate to be a party pooper, but you have to consider the fact that there could be complications to your surgery. Make sure you have coverage for up to six weeks if necesarry. I had a lot of unforseen complications and was in the hospital for over a month. Luckily my parents were able to stay with my children while my husband spent time with me in the hospital. Line up what ever help you can find and let them know that you will cancel their services if not needed. Like they say, better safe than sorry....
   — Jane S.

April 17, 2003
I have a 21 month old son and had surgery 2-24-03, my husband took a week off and I have a 15 year old daughter who was a wonderful help. Everyones recovery is different, so hope for the best but plan for the worst.... I myself needed 5 weeks before I felt like myself, I had a complication (not a major one, but a bother anyway) best plan? six weeks!!!
   — Jana Krvavac