Question:
Anyone Else Do This??

I had open RNY on July 23rd. My starting weight was 301, and I weighed in this morning at 219 lbs. I am very happy with my progress, but I just can't get over the guilty feelings I have. I pretty much eat normally, just really small portions and three meals a day. But, If I want a slice of bacon or a bite of pizza...I have it. Nothing makes me sick at all (I haven't tried sugar yet though) and I enjoy an occasional treat. But, I also feel terribly guilty after eating something like that. I feel like I don't deserve to keep losing weight if I have bacon or pizza. The weight has been coming off steadily, and I feel VERY good physically...so I figure I must being doing ok...Is it ok to have these things once in awhile? Or am I gonna ruin my chances of getting to my goal weight? I also feel bad when I feel any sense of "fullness" Like, I shouldn't be full....I should be hungry to lose weight. I guess it is years of dieting ingrained into me. HELP! (open RNY 7/23/02 -82 pounds)    — Shawnie S. (posted on November 5, 2002)

November 5, 2002
WOW, weight watchers and Jenny craig have really made us a littel Jadded, haven't they?? Your weight loss is fantastic. You are not "caving in" by having a few bites of a goodie every now and agian. As long as it is not every day/ every meal. And yes, the whole idea is for you to feel full, so stop thinking that you shouldn't!! Your weight los is going to start to slow way down very soon now, butthat is normal, regardless of what you are eating. When that happens, you may find that being a little stricter about what goes into your mouth will speed it back up. Personally, I just go with the flow and deal with the slowq loss. I did not go through all of this to be on a diet the rest of my life!! I eat healthy, with the occasional indulgence. Just watch the carbs. Good Luck, you are doing great!!
   — Vicki L.

November 5, 2002
NO!!! in my humble opinion....it is NOT alright to feel guilty and awful about small indulgences once in a while! You are doing fantastic, and it sounds to me like you have been "a very good girl" if you have not even tried anything with sugar yet. It sounds like you expect yourself to be absolutely perfect and will beat yourself up over the tiniest slip. I certainly am not perfect, and even though I slip up once in a while and eat something I know I shouldn't, after 2.25 years I am now a size four and at goal weight. It's the total amount of calories in that counts....you know this! Add up the calories in your piece of bacon or bite of pizza and adjust your next meal accordingly. Don't stress so! Concentrate on exercise...it makes the biggest difference in how I feel. Enjoy how wonderful you are feeling and celebrate how far you have come. Why is it we seem to look for reasons to make ourselves miserable?
   — Anne G.

November 5, 2002
You don't need help. You're doing just fine. There is nothing wrong with the way you are eating. I eat a slice of bacon several times a week for breakfast with an egg. I have a slice of pizza once every two weeks or so. I've also been known to have a fried chicken finger now and then, the occasional half slice of toast of butter or whatever. For most of us, we're human. If totally deny ourselves everything, we're setting ourselves up to fail. For some things, we need to find substitutes, ie sugar. For other things, we need to eat really small amounts, ie fried foods. There is nothing wrong with eating normally and there is no reason to beat yourself up over it. There are a few people out there that can put those kind of strict controls on themselves and I think that's great. For the rest of us, we use the tool to the best of our advantage and it tells us when we're abusing it. Don't let the things you eat define who you are. If you're eating properly otherwise, a treat now and then won't hurt. You're doing an awesome job and you should be very proud of yourself.
   — Tina P.

November 5, 2002
Don't beat yourself up. I eat bacon and when I do, I have more than one slice. I have eaten the top off pizza occasionally. I tried fried chicken but it made me dump so I don't do it now but I do eat fried fish with my doctor's blessing. You have to find what works for you. I can tolerate some fats; others make me very ill and I dump really easily on sugars. The feeling of fullness is GOOD. That is what keeps you from overeating and getting sick. Keep up the good work! Open RNY 11/29/01 -156 pounds
   — Patty_Butler

November 5, 2002
At this point, your still a newbie, so the weight is flying off. I would say no adjustments are needed at this point. Perhaps when you are further along and closer to goal and you want to lose more or faster, you would cut out the treats. But for now , enjoy it! The fact that you have stayed away from sugar is great. I started introducing small amounts of sugar back into my system at about 4 months or so. I work to ensure that I keep the amount low, but sugar is like an addiction for me, and the more I have the more I want. Then again, i did not have this surgery to "diet" for the rest of my life if I can help it. I think you have the right idea when you say "occasional treat". There is a difference between pizza 3 times a day and pizza once a week. and full is good, get used to it. Overstuffed is not.
   — Cindy R.

November 5, 2002
hiya! congrats on your "loss!" it sounds like you are doing fantastic -- remember tho they did surgery on your stomach NOT your head so you still have all those old "tapes" playing! i've never felt guilty about what i could eat but i felt guilty about losing so quickly especially since i had a friend struggling to lose weight without surgery. personally i can eat pretty much whatever i want (the first year was tricky because what i could eat one week might make me dump the next) but i just don't worry about it. i make sure i center my meals around protein and when cooking i make healthy substitutions like splenda for sugar and low-fat cream soups or non fat plain yogurt instead of sour cream but i don't eat low fat cheese or low fat salad dressings simply because i don't like the taste. i can't eat so much in one sitting that i worry about the fat contents as long as i get in my proteins. one thing about guilt -- imo it's a useless emotion (unless you kill someone! ick)but if you keep feeling this way you may want to see a counselor to help you learn a new way of thinking about things (and to accept yourself and your new body) or at least join a wls support group. you're doing great - keep it up! {{hugs}} kate open rny 6-14-01 pre op: 268lbs goal: 135lbs current: 126lbs
   — jkb