Question:
Should I tell my fellow RN/MD Co-worker's of my impending surgery?

I am an RN, and a supervisor of 35 nurses on my team. My company has over 100 employees, mostly nurses and some MD's. I feel umcomfortable telling them I am planning to have WLS (initial evaluation is done) even though I have worked with some over 5 years. Do I tell them I am having Laparsocopic Gallbladder surgery? I know they will ask me questions. I also want to be promoted and the Upper Management knows me and I am on special projects with them as well. Please advise what is the best way to handle this.    — Sue D. (posted on August 4, 2001)

August 4, 2001
Sue, don't tell them you're having lap cholecystectomy. I work in medicine, too (28 years) and was going to do this. Then my surgeon told me when they do the lap RNY, they don't do the chole at the same time, unless you are already having GB symptoms. 30% develop gallstones at about a year postop, due to fast weight loss, but that means 70% don't, so he doesn't do it. Plus he said if you have lap RNY it is just to hard to do the gallbladder at the same time. Generally if they have to do the chole and the roux-en-y both, they do it open. I know that medical professionals can be among the MOST judgmental! They think they know more, and will try to dissuade you from this. I told my office manager that I would need to be off from this date to that date for surgery. (in writing). She called me (I work at a different location) and said, "I'm worried about you. What's this surgery about?" I replied (and recommend you do this, too) "Don't worry; it isn't cancer, a brain tumor or anything life-threatening. But I really don't want to talk about it right now. I don't want to hear other people's surgery horror stories, or have them tell me to try this or that other remedy. I have confidence in my surgeon. Perhaps I will feel like talking about it AFTER the surgery." There was a long pause. Then she said, "Okay. If there's anything we can do, just let us know." Later another co-worker wouldn't accept that as an answer and persisted, "Oh, come on....you can tell ME! What are you having done?" Since she would not accept the answer I'd already given, I paused for a moment, leaned in real close, looked her right in the eyes and said quietly. "Well....okay. I'm having a brain transplant...but don't tell anybody!" It took her a minute to "get it" and she laughed and wasn't mad, but she didn't pry any more. AFTER the surgery, when they notice you getting smaller, THEN is a good time to say, "I had gastric bypass surgery and it is the best thing I've ever done for myself. I just added about 20 years to my life." By then, they can see for themselves how well it is working for you and it is too damned late to try to scare you out of it or tell you to do something else instead. Good luck!
   — Lisa D.

August 4, 2001
I agree with previous poster--your co-workers don't need to know anything about your surgery. I, too, am an RN (27 years) and am currently working as a Med-Surg RN in a small, backwards psych hospital in NY. My co-workers are extremely judgemental and closed-minded. I have told them that I'm having surgery for ulcers and diverticulitis, both of which run in my family.
   — dantevolta

August 4, 2001
Well, here is my 2cent opinion on this subject. I also have been an RN for 30plus years. At first I did not tell too many people because I was sure they would be judgemental. A couple of the Doc's I work closely with expressed concern . .wanted to make sure I had thought about this and was having someone "really good" doing the procedure. I am now less than 2 weeks preop and my immediate boss and most of my co-workers (i do Case Management and go all over a 300plus employee hospital) are aware that I am having this done and have been very supportive. Interestingly a lot of the most recent people asking about "i heard you're having . . go on to say . .I know someone else who has had this done and have done very well" . .some have even called their friends and asked them if it would be alright for them to give me their number in case I have some questions (most are more than one year post.) It really has been an very individual decision to talk about this or not . . but basically I have decided that I am doing what is best for me and they can either rejoice in my decision . . or crump to themselves. Good luck in whatever you decide . . but like one of the other people said . . it is hard being in Healthcare and coworkers not being extemely curious about our healthcare choices.
   — Nancy H.

August 5, 2001
Please don't feel you have to divulge your private life to anyone. I'm sure not everyone you work with tells you all of their personal business. You must stay within your comfort zone about this. I don't think you should make up something like gallbladder surgery because it's just not a good idea to mess with untruths. Where possible, don't say anything and where necessary uou can say you're having some health issues that you're not able to discuss at this time, and that is the truth. You can't get in touble saying something like that. If anyone pushes you for more info just be strong and prepared with a polite comeback like "it's not something I'm prepared to talk about", etc. Possibly after your surgery and after your co-workers begin to see your weight loss, you may feel differently about telling them or just telling a few people. But wait and see how you feel and follow your instincts. You don't owe anyone any explanations about your private life or your private medical issues, and please don't feel obligated to anyone but yourself. Best of luck with your surgery.
   — [Anonymous]

August 5, 2001
I'm not comfortable discussing my WLS at work. To get my leave approved, I told them I was having major abdominal surgery. Of course, people asked for details. I just smiled, very friendly, and said that I was trying to keep it private. That stopped almost all of the questions. The remaining questions, I just smile and change the subject gently. So far, it's working. Remember, if you don't want to share this information, you don't have to tell them anything! I don't want to put up with any negativity, so I'm keeping this totally outside of my work (at least at this point). Maybe I will change my mind later on, but maybe I won't. And you can never "untell" anyone, so be very careful not to even mention the WLS to ANYONE at work, unless you want EVERYONE to know.
   — Kathy J.

August 6, 2001
I'm a Health Informati0n Specialst and a certified coder at a large teaching hospital. Initially, I chose not to tell the people at work what kind of surgery I was having. I said it was "gastrointestinal surgery". I didn't feel it was anyone's business and even medical professionals have misconceptions about wls. I did tell people 2 months after I returned to work. I wanted to alleviate the fears of friends/co-workers who thought I was seriously ill because I was losing so much weight so quickly.
   — [Anonymous]

August 6, 2001
YOU HAVE CHOSE TO DO WHAT YOU DID TO BENEFIT YOU. HONESTLY IT IS NO ONE BUSINESS WHAT TYPE OF SURGERY YOU HAD BUT IF IT WAS REALLY IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO TELL THEM FINE. NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO IN LIFE SOMEONE IS ALWAYS GOING TO FIND SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT. WHEATHER GOOD OR BAD!!!
   — [Anonymous]