Question:
Totally depressed and screwing up my life???WHY???
Hey Amos Family-I hope everyone is feeling better than me today-I have been trying to tell myself that I am normal and just going through the daily ups and downs of life-but I know in my heart that I am severely depressed. I have lost 146 lbs and am 13 mos post op-I have a good life-I got accepted into the culinary school I wanted to go to, my grandmother co-signed for a hefty loan for me to attend, I've lost alot of weight and my heath has drastically improved-However i'm not happy-I'm not going to my classes missed basically half the semester in 3 of my classes, wasted my grandmothers money, and I feel like a wretch-I HATE MYSELF FOR DOING THIS-I am embarassed too see a psychologist-I don;t want to be on anti-depressants but recognizing that I may have to be-i fake happiness and joy around everyone else but I am hurting so bad inside I don;t know what to do-I have been cheating on my diet even though I want to lose another 50lbs -I have been eating carbs and not even like crazy but snacking on something sweet at least once a day for the past week-thank god my period is going off-I think that may have sething to do with it-I feel like I am in a black hole and don't know how to get out-I am 23 yr old African American woman and my mother/family doesn;t believe that black women get depressed u get sad but you keep going-but I don;t know how-Looking for something but don;t know what-Tori — TotallyTori (posted on April 6, 2004)
April 6, 2004
You know, I'm beginning to think this a long-term side effect of the
surgery as I've heard this so often and experienced it myself. I know that
initially you get the huge hormone swings, but I had this problem over 2
years out. I don't know why, but it's not uncommon. Talk to your doc
about it, and see if your labs look OK as there are different things that
can contribute to depression including low thyroid function and nutritional
deficiencies. If the labs look good (mine did) you may want to consider an
anti-depression medicine. I chose the natural route and went on St. John's
Wort with my doc's OK. It took a good 7 weeks, but it did eventually help
(300 mgs standardized to 3%, 3X a day). I also added Relora for my carb
cravings, and this also is a mood elevator. I also added some amino acids
and omega 3 and 6 supplements. You're not alone... check with your PCP.
DON'T BE EMBARRASED! It's a chemical thing, not something that you have
control over.
— mom2jtx3
April 6, 2004
i went thur this too and i was scared to take meds and see a doctor. my
mother also believed that you just should suck it up and move on, but when
she really saw that it was tearing me apart she changed her tune. she told
me that if i had a heart problem or something that needed medicine wouldn't
i take the meds to get healthy. that made sense to me. getting help is
nothing to be embarrassed about. why waste another minute hurting when
there is help out there? i know i feel like a wasted 12 years of my life
for being overweight and i don't ever want to feel that way. you already
know that you are in trouble and need help to get out of it. you are going
to school to get a new life.....why not start it i out right instead of
hurting in private? best of luck to you
— franbvan
April 6, 2004
All I can say is You do NOT need to feel this way! If you talk to your
doctor they can get you on something that will make you feel so much better
and fast. You feel like crap so you don't go to class so you feel more like
crap so you go to class even less. Sound about right? Many of us have been
there and there is no reason to be embarrassed. Thousands of people have
read this post now all you have to do is tell one more person (your doctor)
and this struggle could be behind you before you know it! Good Luck!!!!!
— Carol S.
April 6, 2004
Victoria: Please don't let depression ruin your life. It's a medical
problem, just the same as obesity is. There are many treatments available,
so please see your doctor and get started. There is nothing to be
embarrassed about. You cannot talk yourself out of clinical depression - I
know because I tried too. Then when I finally decided to deal with it, my
doc started me on Prozac, and within several weeks, the difference in how I
felt was truly amazing. Please see your doctor very soon! And let us know
how you are doing.
— Carlita
April 6, 2004
Victoria, I watched a close relative suffer for years with obsessive
compulsive disorder and depression. He lived in a small town and did not
think it was "manly" and that it was a sign of weakness to seek
help. His wife finally gave him the ultimatum-seek help or lose your
family. He sought help, is now on medication and his only regret is why he
wasted so many years being in denial. You do not need to feel like
this-see your doctor and get some help. Trust me, it will make a world of
difference and get you back on track. You've worked too hard to let this
stumbling block keep you from your bright future.
— Cindy R.
April 6, 2004
YOU ARE NOT ALONE GIRL!!! I am going through the same thing. About a year
ago things started getting totaly wierd for me, I started doing strange
stuff, all of a sudden I wanted to live a little. The only problem was
that I was 36 and had 2 children and had a signifigant other. I had a rny
in 6/01 and to date I have lost about 110#. Being overweight all my life I
didnt know what skinny was. Had a great time ALSO in the mean time went
through severe depression. I was SO embarrased to go and ask for help.
Finally I went and got put on some prozac. THE BEST THING I EVER DID!!! My
mom always said help was for the weak people and that is why I had a hard
time going. Depression is not your fault it is a medical condition that we
cant control alone. Weather it be natural, medical or getting a good
therapist for help, dont be ashamed. We are only human and not perfect by
any means. Hope this helps some...
— Lisa J.
April 6, 2004
You know, I have often wondered if we, as a community, don't all suffer
from depression to one extent or another. I lost 174 pounds, hit my goal,
and found I was still depressed. I always just figured I was depressed
because of the fat. Then last Thanksgiving day, I dunno what happened, but
I just had a crushing bout of depression, such that I really couldn't deny
that I suffered from it anymore. That next Monday I went to the doctor and
talked to her about it. She decided to try me on Prozac, and it has work
-extremely- well for me. I think a lot of folks are reluctant to go an
anti-depressants because they have heard stories about it making people
into a zombie, etc... Sometimes you may have to try several medications
before one works for you, but when you hit the right one, you will know.
The difference will be quite pronounced, or at least it was for me. I find
the medication just helps me to not "sweat the small stuff", and
carry through and take care of my responsibilities. Am I walking around on
cloud nine all the time? Hardly. But I don't get as wound up about silly
stuff anymore either. I don't have days where I just wanna hide in bed. I
just feel more even keeled. Please go talk with you Dr. about this, because
you know, and I know, depression can often lead to eating with those of us
who are MO, and you don't want to start doing that when the problem is so
simple to take care of.
— Greg P.
April 6, 2004
Hun, Depression is a serious thing. It doesnt mean you are weak, or mental
or any of those other bad things you have often heard from your family. I
hate to tell you but YES Black women AND men suffer with clinical
depression. There is nothing in your african american make up that makes
you imune to a chemical embalance in the brain. I have suffered with
depression since i was a teen. i have been on celexa now for a good 4 to 5
years and I can say it has been my life saver. My mother thought the same
as your mother did, she didnt believe in depression...until she hit
menopause and felt like she was going nuts. Her doctor put her on celexa
and it saved her life and her sanity as well. I highly suggest and URGE you
to go see your medical doctor and tell him or her how you are feeling.
Celexa is an excellent drug for those of us who suffer from syptoms of PMS
as well. Please see someone and get the help you need. My thoughts and
prayers are with you. Laura
— Laura C.
April 6, 2004
Victoria, I would like to tell you that I agree with the other posts. I
have had problems with depression for some time now. It is nothing wrong
with getting help. I waited a long time to get help, but after I began
feeling better, I wondered why I waited so long. I hope you are feeling
better soon. Good Luck. Janice
— betterfitness
April 6, 2004
Shame and guilt are likely going to lead to more depresion, hon. Get thee
to a therapist... there is nothing to be ashamed of in getting help for
depression. I thank my lucky stars that I started therapy before WLS, and
went for about a year after. I know I owe a lot of my long-term success to
resolving some MAJOR issues I had which could've seriously sidetracked my
success.<br>
Best wishes to you.
— kultgirl
April 7, 2004
Hi Tori- First a big hug to you. It's going to be OK hon. But, you need
to take some action. You've asked for help here, now you need to do the
same with a pro. Your college will have a service it offers for students in
need. Please go see them right away. There is no need to feel this way!
The mental illness thing is often a cultural stigma. I understand it well.
My dad was a 1st generation Sicilian American. There was NO WAY he was
going to believe in mental illness or 'shrinks', because of his upbringing.
Mental illness was just a sign of weakness. I am ashamed to admit I have
inherited some of this from him. I battle it though. You know, college
students often can re-take semesters or be excusaed for medical reasons. I
know I got a waiver on some of my classes when I was in college because I
was suffering from depression and missed so much class. Perhaps you can
discuss this with your advisor or the psy. Dr. you go see. Good luck to
you hon. You're on the right track in seeking help. There is a big bright
light at the end of the tunnel! Hang in there.
— LMCLILLY
April 8, 2004
Please seek medical help! Do it now, or you will suffer for years and
years and may do things that will totally mess up your life. Depression
hits many people in their early 20's, and there doesn't have to be a reason
or some episode to trigger it. Don't be afraid of medicine. Heck, I take
medicine and I'm still morbidly overweight (and awaiting WLS). However,
the medicine allows me to get up in the morning and go to work. There used
to be so many days when I went to bed at night and wasn't sure if I'd be
able to go to work or do chores/errands at home. It's not fair to your
kids--do you want them to suffer with you? Do you want them to remember a
depressed mother when they're older? Do you want them to be depressed too?
Please get help, and BE PERSISENT. It may take a little time to for you
to get the right dosage of medication, but you know yourself best. God
bless, you can do it!
— vickitucek
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