Question:
I feel like a loser and not in the good way? 80-100more lbs to go

Ok peers-I think you may need to let me have it and I am prepared for it. I am a culinary school student and my goal with that is to provide delicious healthy food to the masses-I cook food all day on Wednesdays and I don;t even touch any of the stuff I am making, but anyways. Yesterday I had a protein shake for breakfast Atkins Vanilla, whisch I dirnk every morning to get me started that has 170 calories, then for a snack about 2 1/2 hrs later I had mini protein bar with 120 cals and 10 grams of protein, atkins shake had 20 grams of protein-then when I came home from school around 4:30 I had about 3/4-to maybe 1 cup of ground turkey breast and vegetable chili with 1 tbsp of light sour cream, original serving allows for 2 tbsp, and then I had about 2, maybe 3 pinches of Veggie Shreds Cheese-About an hour or so later I did my Taebo Ultimate Upper Body workout for 45 mins and thought I was going to die he did like quadruple double time, the day before I did my Walk away the pounds 4 mile tape. Okay so after I did the tape I decided that I was going to make some sugar free brownies from scratch and they came out delicious-2 delicious. For dinner which was around 9:30 I had 2 small grilled chix breast tenders and about 1 handful or 12 crinkle cut baked french fries with veggie cheese again sprinkled on top-it took me about 20-25 minutes to eat that(Was I grazing) I was full after I ate the one chix finger and three french fries but was like ok I know this isn;t enough food for someone at 11 mos out and down 143 lbs. Then around 12:30am I got hungry again and had about 1/2 cup of that turkey chili with veggie cheese and 1 tbsp of light sour cream-Somewhere around 2 in the morning or so I went and had that sugar free brownie 2 thin ones which prob equated to one regular size brownie, not the supersixed reg ones either, just a typical square. I woke up this morning with my muscles extremely sore from my workout and I feel like a total failure for eating that damn brownie when I know I am trying to lose another 80-100lbs and I've given myslef about 9 mos to do so-what is wrong with me-I don;t want to throw the brownies out cause the sugar free choc to make them was 16 dollars a pound and I bought a pound, and also because I made then so I can enjoy them as a snack. I don;t know if I am trippin because I ate the brownie so late would have been better to enjoy one during the day or earlier in the evening or not to have enjoyed one at all-Should I just chalk up the cost it took to make them and throw them away, or should I freeze half, my mom has been eating them too because I said they are damned good-and I may want another one-but I feel so freaking horrible about eating them-The past few days I have been splurging on sugar free treats since I started my exercising but I was calculating that even with the splurges I was only getting maybe 1300 cals and I think I overcalculate sometimes if i don't know the cal intake for something-I was figuring I burnest at least 400-500 cals during my workouts-Should I be feeling guilty. Should I be taking in more cals since I usually eat between 1100-1300 and now working out again I am burning off like 400-500 of those. I know if my body thinks i;m starving I won;t lose weight and I HAVE to lose another 80-100 lbs to get to my own personal goal of 135 I'm 5'6 and weigh 236 right now-Did i screw everyhting up-What should I do- I am also starting to have late night cravings again and usually go for sf popsicles-should I start chugging protein shakes before bed I did notice that it made me not wake up and want anything-when I do actual food protein that doesn;t always work, but protein shakes or bars seem to kill the craving monster at tnightime- anybody there with any advice-Please Help me- I need to lose that 100 lbs-Love Tori    — TotallyTori (posted on February 25, 2004)

February 25, 2004
If it's not a brownie then it'll be something else. When we feel self-deprecating we just will harp on whatever. I advise not doing SF stuff though. I eat more of that then sugar stuff. More calories in. I would be surprised if you are not losing weight on such low calories plus working out. Why would a SF Brownie be any different than other calories? You take in less than you expend, you lose. I hear a lot of people talking like this. I eat treats all the time. A brownie didn't make me fat. 3 bowls of pasta and entire pizzas did. This is about learning how to exercise and eat right. Thin people have balance. They eat a treat, they exercise longer.
   — mrsmyranow

February 25, 2004
It looks like what you're eating for the most part is pretty good. The only thing I would suggest is doing away with the protein shake at lunch. At this point, you should be able to get your protein via the food that you eat which will keep you full longer. The shakes are just going straight through and not keeping you feeling full. Maybe substitute a lowfat mozzarella cheese stick. Of course you know not to drink (including your protein shakes) when you eat. Also, try to stay away from the nighttime snacking. It looks like you ate 3 meals/snacks between 9:30pm and 2:00 am. I don't know what your normal schedule is so if you have afternoon/evening classes, that would make a little difference. I have a hard time with nighttime eating myself, but I know it is my major downfall. I don't let myself eat anything after 8:00pm, and most people say to not eat after 6:00 but since my "plan" includes 3 meals and 3 snacks daily, I usually do my snack at 8:00pm or so and try to be in bed by 10:00. I have found that when I do that (and get a good 7 hours or more of sleep), my weight comes off a little better. If you haven't already done it, try fitday.com to track what you eat. You may (or may not) be surprised. Good Luck.
   — Carolyn M.

February 25, 2004
Whoa girl! You got a lot of thinking in about what you eat in that one post. Here's what I think. (IMHO) You need to go see your nutritionist and get back to the basice. Once you start the treats & carbs, there's very little going back. Someone who still needs to loose as much weight as you want needs to be stricter with 'following the program' I'm not saying you ead terribly or anything, I'm just saying a touchbase to plan with your nutritionist looks in order. BTW- has night time snacking been a pre-op problem of yours? If so, you're getting back to bad habits, it's time to curtail that activity before it gets out of hand. If not, and you are genuinely hungry, your body is probably telling you that you need to eat more. Good luck to you!!!
   — LMCLILLY

February 25, 2004

   — Tricia S.

February 26, 2004
Tori, I agree with Tricia, I don't think there is anything wrong with a SF brownie, or your SF popsicles or whatever other snack you choose to include in your diet plan. The worse part that I see is you beating yourself senseless over eating that brownie. With the amount of calories you are taking in and your working out, you should still be seeing a steady weight loss. What I would suggest is if you think you cannot exhibit self-control (1 brownie vs. the whole plate), then get the brownies out of the house. Go ahead and make your brownies, put aside one or two for you and take the rest for your co-workers... I will eat cookies, brownies etc, but I would never buy an entire box of cookies, its the small mini cookie snack packs or i will buy 1 brownie. I know me! So, stop beating yourself up, just learn your limitations and do not feel guilt for having a treat now and then. You deserve it and can still continue to lose. Great on the working out!!
   — Cindy R.