Question:
What do you tell other people if they ask about weight loss?
I do not want many if any people to know that I am going to have this surgery because I feel it is very personal and private., so I was wondering what can you tell people that sounds believeable when they inquire on what surgery did you have? or as to your weight loss? or about why your eating habbits have changed? Any ideas or personal exp. you want to share would help. Thanks! — kristikat82 (posted on May 27, 2006)
May 26, 2006
I was told early on that part of the success involved in WLS is having a
good support network and that it is important to tell people that you're
having the surgery so that you have the opportunity to talk about it.
That's what I've done. I think you'd be surprised at how many people will
be supportive of your decision.
— cburky911
May 26, 2006
I tell when asked just because I feel I may be able to help someone else
along the way. God blessed me through this journey and being there for
others and there friends an family well that's a added bonus. I also feel
for me personally I would hate having to explain the weight loss and trying
to decide the best way to answer. The truth is just much easier. :-) On the
other hand it is your on being and you have the right to make your own
decisions about your own body. Whatever you do you know you have lots of
support on this site.
Hugs!
Cat
— Cathy C.
May 27, 2006
I told EVERYONE I know that I am having this surgery done. And about 95% of
them are very supportive of it. It helps me feel more comfortable of having
it done, and makes me feel like if I need there help with anything, they
will be there for me. I encourge to tell some people that you know, they
will be very supportive of your decision, because they care for you and
only want the best for you.. Good Luck!
— danals24
May 27, 2006
I was so happy to have mine done, I told most people just because I was so
excited.....That was in Jan of '06. Now I've lost 74 lbs and people who
don't know will say how nice I look, and I just say thank you and it's been
a blessing and alot of hard work, which both are true!!! I have found most
share my joy, they saw what a tub I was lol hope this helps peggy
— sunbrat
May 27, 2006
I told my family but did not want people at work to know because rumors
spread wild there and I agree, it is very private and personal. I told my
staff that I was having stomach problems and led them to believe it was
gall bladder issues. After the surgery I told them that it was a bit more
involved after they got in there and they removed part of my stomach and
duodenum. They don't need to know it was elective. They think I had
ulceration and had to have it removed. This will account for why I am
having to eat different and why I am losing weight in the future.
— Rick Bedard
May 27, 2006
Theres NO WAY to keep people from noticing a 100 poubd loss and WLS is
nothing to be ashamed of. The only time people lose weight this fast is WLS
cancer or AIDS. I had folks ask so how is your chemo going:( Had customers
ask are you ill:( We will need to find new service person... I told
everyone and got universal support from everyone but my step mom.. go
figure. Not admtting WLS will just create gossip.... Good luck in your
journey! I will be out 5 years this summer the time has flown by.
— bob-haller
May 27, 2006
After 12 yrs, the newness has worn off, and now I RELISH the opportunity to
enlighten the ignorant (did they cut it off? 150?!?!) (do they suck it
out?) (is that where they take all your intesines out?) (they wrap a rubber
band around your stomach or put some staples in?) Or whatever idiocy they
think they've heard, along with 100 aunts who've regained and/or died from
"it", whatever they think "it" is. In the beginning, I
was cautious, tho, because I'd lost wt before only to not keep it off.
Although I never denied it, I was a little less free in the first year or
so. My wt loss really WAS none of their business, but if they were ppl I
knew whom I liked, then I had no problem telling them. I worked only PT
and they didn't quite "get it", but they were all for my being
less ill, so they backed me.
— vitalady
May 27, 2006
I am a very honest and very private person. So that makes it difficult.
The only people who know are the ones that had to, my husband and my mom.
My sister and mother-in-law "found out" thru my mom and
hubbie...BUT they ALL know this is MY personal business. If I have to tell
a lie to keep my privacy, then so be it. These are usually to people that
it doesn't really matter anyway. This is a very personal decision. You
make your own choice. BTW I have lost weight fast in the past, and it
wasn't due to cancer, AIDS or WLS. When out to eat, I say my
"diet" is to cut everything I eat in 1/2 or less, plus I am
exercising and usually doing all the right things-we just have some extra
help ;)
— Kayla
May 27, 2006
I feel like you do. I don't want to tell anyone I don't have to tell. I do
not want to have it define ME. I don't want to have to talk about it 24/7.
I will talk about it to those I trust, while in support group, and to my
friends and aquaintances who have had it. But people at work who love to
judge us (!) will not need to know. As far as the weight loss goes I am
planning on saying I finally got a clue and stayed on my program and it's
finally coming off. Good luck!
— LauraD
May 27, 2006
I am a very honest person who doesn't lie very well. I told my closest
friends and everyone else I told that I was having a hiatel hernia fixed
(which is true that it was fixed with everything else). Sure, a couple of
months from now they'll put it all together, but I wanted my privacy for
the surgery and at the beginning.
— lkirshstein
May 27, 2006
Christina,
I believe that you should do what you're comfortable with. I do a lot of
speaking and mentoring regarding weightloss surgery. I am willing to talk
to all that will listen about getting healthy. I am very proud of the
decision I made over a year ago.
You are a person of great courage for making this decision, be proud! You
should be. If anyone asks questions that you are not comfortable talking
about just tell them that. Other than that just know that along your
journey you could help someone else. I wish you all the success in the
world. Be blessed.
Kelley
— Kelley Perez
May 27, 2006
Christina,
I believe that you should do what you're comfortable with. I do a lot of
speaking and mentoring regarding weightloss surgery. I am willing to talk
to all that will listen about getting healthy. I am very proud of the
decision I made over a year ago.
You are a person of great courage for making this decision, be proud! You
should be. If anyone asks questions that you are not comfortable talking
about just tell them that. Other than that just know that along your
journey you could help someone else. I wish you all the success in the
world. Be blessed.
Kelley
— Kelley Perez
May 27, 2006
Christina,
I did not tell everyone about procedure as a matter of fact, I don't feel I
should be open with everyone I meet. Thats just me. I will tell you for
those I do not share "how I am doing it" with I usually tell them
I am on a calorie restricted diet and its a cross between Atkins and South
Beach. I also have been exercising alot and it helps! That's my story and
I have been sticking with it 23 months! Good luck with your tale and don't
be afraid to trust some people with the truth. There is a great support
system out there for you. We all need some line of support. Don't feel
you have to do this alone.
Debbie
— dcox94
May 27, 2006
Christina-I felt the exact same way when I was approaching my surgury date.
I hadn't even told my family (except for my husband) until two weeks
before the surgury. I ended up telling my immediate family and best friend
because of the fear of something bad happening and not wanting them to be
mad at my husband for not telling them ahead of time. Post surgury,
especially after I returned to work, I had a new outlook. I was feeling
great and starting to look great. I decided that I really didn't have
anything to be ashamed of and was honest with everyone who asked. Like
some of the others said, you may find you can help others by being open. I
have had four co-workers approach me about WLS and one of them ended up
getting the courage she needed to have the surgury after seeing my early
successes. It is your decision and you probably could get away with white
lies, but know that you don't have to hide it. You may even feel so great
that you may have trouble keeping it in. Best of luck and may your journey
be wonderful!
— onmiway
May 28, 2006
I personally think it's great to talk about the surgery because even if the
person you are talking to isn't overweight, they may know somebody that is
and who is miserable, and you talking about it to them could help change
their FRIEND'S life for the better! If it's absolutely nobody's business,
you could always say you started taking medication for a long-undiagnosed
thyroid condition or something I guess. :) -- Jennifer
— j_coulter
May 28, 2006
Great question and one I have been grappling with myself. I am just
starting the process as I have just now recieved insurance that will cover
it. My family would not be supportive and I plan on just having my husband
know. I do have a friend who has had the surgery and she is very very
supportive. I plan on writting a letter to my family memebers "in
case" anything happens and explain why I havent shared anything with
them. But I know all will go well...when after the surgery, I am feeling
better about things then perhaps I will share with them all...but
personally this is a tough enough decision to make, any elective surgery
is, and I dont want their negative feed back involved. And it would be
negative. I live 3 hours from any family so I can go through this without
them really knowing anything is happening...as far as work goes...I'm not
sure what kind of feedback I would get there my guess is mixed, so for my
own privacy I am telling them that I am having stomach trouble, ulcer type
stuff and the medication is not working and surgery may have to happen...at
which point they will remove the ulcer and part of my
stomach....thus...eating habits change and weight loss happens..and that so
far is how I will handle it there...now things may change as I go throught
the process but I doubt it...we'll see....what ever you decide, you have to
do it the way that is right for you...some people are much more open and
out there with things and thats great we need them...but some are very
private and its their right to be so..so good luck with which ever you
decide..do whats right for you and great answers everyone...
— Kimscott
May 28, 2006
Christina, a very favorite of mine is "gee, I've been following the
Weight Watchers diet and I've been doing really well on it! I also try
very hard to at least walk a couple times a week around home and it is
really making me start to feel much better and I'm getting more energy
everyday." This is a very believable reply to someone if you don't
want to share WLS. Believe it or not, some people are a little jealous
about others who have had WLS because they either never considered the
option or can't have the surgery. You also asked about eating habits, I
have never felt better eating GOOD foods! You'd be surprised how too many
carbs or sugar influence your sustained stamina and your good nature! Good
luck! Sherry
— sstrohm
May 28, 2006
I was and am very proud of the surgery and shout it from the rooftops.
Anyone who asks me I tell them I had the surgery. You would be surprised
how interested in getting information about what you are going through.
They want to know about your journey. I know this was a personal decision
that you made but it will be obvious that you did something drastic. My
suggestion to you would be to have all the information you can about the
surgery and educate, educate, educate. I hope I did not offend you.
— tonifrisina
May 28, 2006
I felt the same ass you do at first, but then I figured why not? It is not
something to be ashamed of. It is not the easy way out, but very
difficult. After I told a ffew people who asked, I found that it was not
that bad, although I do not like to have a fuss made over it.
— Novashannon
May 28, 2006
Personally, from my own experience, I have found by NOT telling it and
trying to keep it quiet, you will just add fuel to the fire. People should
respect your personal business as private information, but they don't. No
matter what you tell people, they will speculate and believe what they want
to.
It will be obvious that your eating patterns have changed, and you are
losing at a greater speed than normal. Hence, their imaginations will soar
and talk will build. If you truly want to stay out of the line of fire,
when they ask, just tell them the truth and leave it at that. After I
finally told people about my surgery and received positive remarks, I was
able to support others who were interested in the surgery as well. I've
learned there is nothing to hide as long as you know you are doing it for
the right reasons...and helping others is a "right reason".
Good luck. I hope all goes well for you.
— shar
May 28, 2006
If you don't want certain people to know...then don't tell them. I told
all of my family and friends....but only told two people at work. It's
none of their business...and all they do is talk!! I'm 5 months post-op
and down 80 lbs....but no one really noticed til I had already lost 40-50
lbs. I just told them that I had been dieting and exercising....so far no
one has questioned it. If there are certain people you don't want to
tell...then don't...it's really none of their business. Just do whatever
you feel comfortable with.....it's your journey and share it with only
those that you choose to....
— mmcphee1
May 28, 2006
I have been here for over 5 years... Remember a previous question like
this. Member who hadnt told found her co workers suspecting she was dying
were planning on who would get her desk:( When she heard about this she
told about WLS.
— bob-haller
May 28, 2006
hello, first congratulations on having the surgery. it is a wonderful life
change that you will be forever happy about. it will take a few months,
but after that you will delighted. to your question, i would tell people.
the support you get is great. true not everyone will be supportive of your
decision, but this is for you not anyone else. when i had mine i sent out
announcements, i wanted everyone to know. they loved them. i was so happy
and excited that i wanted all my friends and family to know so they could
support me. i just had my lower body and i sent out announcements again.
the love and encouraging words i received have been a blessing. you have
to decide on what you want to do. so good luck with your decision and your
surgery.
God Bless
karrie
— karrie777
May 29, 2006
The only person I told outside my family is someone I work with. If anyone
else knows about the surgery it's because they either guessed or my
co-worker let the cat out of the bag. It's been 3 years and I don't get
questioned much any more. When I was I just told them that I cut my food
intake by 1/2 then 1/2 again (true) and exercise (true). I personally
don't believe that it's anyones business. If some choose to
"guess" or gossip about aids or cancer (eyes rolling) then so be
it.
If they want specifics about diet I just tell them I cut out sugar and
simple carbs.. Then point them towards the "Sugar Busters" diet.
— SJP
May 30, 2006
Well there are only a handful of people outside of my family that know
about it. They are close friends that i trust and know they won't say
anything. When my mom had her WLS people talked a lot of crap and i'm not
going to put myself through that. I also don't feel proud of the fact that
i have gotten to the point where i need WLS. I'm grateful that it's
available but for me it was a very difficult choice for me to make.
— phranny19
May 30, 2006
I wanted to keep my surgery private, but decided it was better (for me, my
kids and DH) to be open about it. I live in a very small town and everyone
seems to know everyones business. If I tried to keep it secret, it would
have become gossip fodder for sure. However, I believe that the choice is
yours! You need to do what you are comfortable with. As for what to tell
people -- most people believe that if we all just ate less and exercised
more, we'd be normal weight... so tell them that! Because you ARE eating
less and you ARE exercising more! Also, people will have NO idea how much
you are losing; so when they ask (and they will ask) -- just smile and tell
them "More than 50 pounds!" (If you tell them 150#, it will be
too shocking. More than 50# is impressive, but not shocking.) Good luck!
— [Deactivated Member]
July 2, 2006
If you've made the decision to lose weight w/ wls you have nothing to be
ashamed of. You made the right choice for you and you will be the one who
has to live with the decision. I tell people that I made a choice to be
healthy, feel and look good about myself and many people respect that.
Anyone who doesn't or criticizes you is either jealous or has their own
insecurities about weight loss. I had overweight friends who put me down
for having the surgery but secretly wished they had the guts to do it too.
Especially after I lost 100#s and went from a size 24 to a size 8! No one
is going to believe you lost a significant amount of weight w/ diet and
exercise in such a short period of time - so just be honest! You've
decided to be a healthier you and that's nothing to be ashamed of. Good
Luck!
— CHARLYLVN
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