Question:
What do you tell other people if they ask about weight loss?

I do not want many if any people to know that I am going to have this surgery because I feel it is very personal and private., so I was wondering what can you tell people that sounds believeable when they inquire on what surgery did you have? or as to your weight loss? or about why your eating habbits have changed? Any ideas or personal exp. you want to share would help. Thanks!    — kristikat82 (posted on May 27, 2006)


May 26, 2006
I was told early on that part of the success involved in WLS is having a good support network and that it is important to tell people that you're having the surgery so that you have the opportunity to talk about it. That's what I've done. I think you'd be surprised at how many people will be supportive of your decision.
   — cburky911

May 26, 2006
I tell when asked just because I feel I may be able to help someone else along the way. God blessed me through this journey and being there for others and there friends an family well that's a added bonus. I also feel for me personally I would hate having to explain the weight loss and trying to decide the best way to answer. The truth is just much easier. :-) On the other hand it is your on being and you have the right to make your own decisions about your own body. Whatever you do you know you have lots of support on this site. Hugs! Cat
   — Cathy C.

May 27, 2006
I told EVERYONE I know that I am having this surgery done. And about 95% of them are very supportive of it. It helps me feel more comfortable of having it done, and makes me feel like if I need there help with anything, they will be there for me. I encourge to tell some people that you know, they will be very supportive of your decision, because they care for you and only want the best for you.. Good Luck!
   — danals24

May 27, 2006
I was so happy to have mine done, I told most people just because I was so excited.....That was in Jan of '06. Now I've lost 74 lbs and people who don't know will say how nice I look, and I just say thank you and it's been a blessing and alot of hard work, which both are true!!! I have found most share my joy, they saw what a tub I was lol hope this helps peggy
   — sunbrat

May 27, 2006
I told my family but did not want people at work to know because rumors spread wild there and I agree, it is very private and personal. I told my staff that I was having stomach problems and led them to believe it was gall bladder issues. After the surgery I told them that it was a bit more involved after they got in there and they removed part of my stomach and duodenum. They don't need to know it was elective. They think I had ulceration and had to have it removed. This will account for why I am having to eat different and why I am losing weight in the future.
   — Rick Bedard

May 27, 2006
Theres NO WAY to keep people from noticing a 100 poubd loss and WLS is nothing to be ashamed of. The only time people lose weight this fast is WLS cancer or AIDS. I had folks ask so how is your chemo going:( Had customers ask are you ill:( We will need to find new service person... I told everyone and got universal support from everyone but my step mom.. go figure. Not admtting WLS will just create gossip.... Good luck in your journey! I will be out 5 years this summer the time has flown by.
   — bob-haller

May 27, 2006
After 12 yrs, the newness has worn off, and now I RELISH the opportunity to enlighten the ignorant (did they cut it off? 150?!?!) (do they suck it out?) (is that where they take all your intesines out?) (they wrap a rubber band around your stomach or put some staples in?) Or whatever idiocy they think they've heard, along with 100 aunts who've regained and/or died from "it", whatever they think "it" is. In the beginning, I was cautious, tho, because I'd lost wt before only to not keep it off. Although I never denied it, I was a little less free in the first year or so. My wt loss really WAS none of their business, but if they were ppl I knew whom I liked, then I had no problem telling them. I worked only PT and they didn't quite "get it", but they were all for my being less ill, so they backed me.
   — vitalady

May 27, 2006
I am a very honest and very private person. So that makes it difficult. The only people who know are the ones that had to, my husband and my mom. My sister and mother-in-law "found out" thru my mom and hubbie...BUT they ALL know this is MY personal business. If I have to tell a lie to keep my privacy, then so be it. These are usually to people that it doesn't really matter anyway. This is a very personal decision. You make your own choice. BTW I have lost weight fast in the past, and it wasn't due to cancer, AIDS or WLS. When out to eat, I say my "diet" is to cut everything I eat in 1/2 or less, plus I am exercising and usually doing all the right things-we just have some extra help ;)
   — Kayla

May 27, 2006
I feel like you do. I don't want to tell anyone I don't have to tell. I do not want to have it define ME. I don't want to have to talk about it 24/7. I will talk about it to those I trust, while in support group, and to my friends and aquaintances who have had it. But people at work who love to judge us (!) will not need to know. As far as the weight loss goes I am planning on saying I finally got a clue and stayed on my program and it's finally coming off. Good luck!
   — LauraD

May 27, 2006
I am a very honest person who doesn't lie very well. I told my closest friends and everyone else I told that I was having a hiatel hernia fixed (which is true that it was fixed with everything else). Sure, a couple of months from now they'll put it all together, but I wanted my privacy for the surgery and at the beginning.
   — lkirshstein

May 27, 2006
Christina, I believe that you should do what you're comfortable with. I do a lot of speaking and mentoring regarding weightloss surgery. I am willing to talk to all that will listen about getting healthy. I am very proud of the decision I made over a year ago. You are a person of great courage for making this decision, be proud! You should be. If anyone asks questions that you are not comfortable talking about just tell them that. Other than that just know that along your journey you could help someone else. I wish you all the success in the world. Be blessed. Kelley
   — Kelley Perez

May 27, 2006
Christina, I believe that you should do what you're comfortable with. I do a lot of speaking and mentoring regarding weightloss surgery. I am willing to talk to all that will listen about getting healthy. I am very proud of the decision I made over a year ago. You are a person of great courage for making this decision, be proud! You should be. If anyone asks questions that you are not comfortable talking about just tell them that. Other than that just know that along your journey you could help someone else. I wish you all the success in the world. Be blessed. Kelley
   — Kelley Perez

May 27, 2006
Christina, I did not tell everyone about procedure as a matter of fact, I don't feel I should be open with everyone I meet. Thats just me. I will tell you for those I do not share "how I am doing it" with I usually tell them I am on a calorie restricted diet and its a cross between Atkins and South Beach. I also have been exercising alot and it helps! That's my story and I have been sticking with it 23 months! Good luck with your tale and don't be afraid to trust some people with the truth. There is a great support system out there for you. We all need some line of support. Don't feel you have to do this alone. Debbie
   — dcox94

May 27, 2006
Christina-I felt the exact same way when I was approaching my surgury date. I hadn't even told my family (except for my husband) until two weeks before the surgury. I ended up telling my immediate family and best friend because of the fear of something bad happening and not wanting them to be mad at my husband for not telling them ahead of time. Post surgury, especially after I returned to work, I had a new outlook. I was feeling great and starting to look great. I decided that I really didn't have anything to be ashamed of and was honest with everyone who asked. Like some of the others said, you may find you can help others by being open. I have had four co-workers approach me about WLS and one of them ended up getting the courage she needed to have the surgury after seeing my early successes. It is your decision and you probably could get away with white lies, but know that you don't have to hide it. You may even feel so great that you may have trouble keeping it in. Best of luck and may your journey be wonderful!
   — onmiway

May 28, 2006
I personally think it's great to talk about the surgery because even if the person you are talking to isn't overweight, they may know somebody that is and who is miserable, and you talking about it to them could help change their FRIEND'S life for the better! If it's absolutely nobody's business, you could always say you started taking medication for a long-undiagnosed thyroid condition or something I guess. :) -- Jennifer
   — j_coulter

May 28, 2006
Great question and one I have been grappling with myself. I am just starting the process as I have just now recieved insurance that will cover it. My family would not be supportive and I plan on just having my husband know. I do have a friend who has had the surgery and she is very very supportive. I plan on writting a letter to my family memebers "in case" anything happens and explain why I havent shared anything with them. But I know all will go well...when after the surgery, I am feeling better about things then perhaps I will share with them all...but personally this is a tough enough decision to make, any elective surgery is, and I dont want their negative feed back involved. And it would be negative. I live 3 hours from any family so I can go through this without them really knowing anything is happening...as far as work goes...I'm not sure what kind of feedback I would get there my guess is mixed, so for my own privacy I am telling them that I am having stomach trouble, ulcer type stuff and the medication is not working and surgery may have to happen...at which point they will remove the ulcer and part of my stomach....thus...eating habits change and weight loss happens..and that so far is how I will handle it there...now things may change as I go throught the process but I doubt it...we'll see....what ever you decide, you have to do it the way that is right for you...some people are much more open and out there with things and thats great we need them...but some are very private and its their right to be so..so good luck with which ever you decide..do whats right for you and great answers everyone...
   — Kimscott

May 28, 2006
Christina, a very favorite of mine is "gee, I've been following the Weight Watchers diet and I've been doing really well on it! I also try very hard to at least walk a couple times a week around home and it is really making me start to feel much better and I'm getting more energy everyday." This is a very believable reply to someone if you don't want to share WLS. Believe it or not, some people are a little jealous about others who have had WLS because they either never considered the option or can't have the surgery. You also asked about eating habits, I have never felt better eating GOOD foods! You'd be surprised how too many carbs or sugar influence your sustained stamina and your good nature! Good luck! Sherry
   — sstrohm

May 28, 2006
I was and am very proud of the surgery and shout it from the rooftops. Anyone who asks me I tell them I had the surgery. You would be surprised how interested in getting information about what you are going through. They want to know about your journey. I know this was a personal decision that you made but it will be obvious that you did something drastic. My suggestion to you would be to have all the information you can about the surgery and educate, educate, educate. I hope I did not offend you.
   — tonifrisina

May 28, 2006
I felt the same ass you do at first, but then I figured why not? It is not something to be ashamed of. It is not the easy way out, but very difficult. After I told a ffew people who asked, I found that it was not that bad, although I do not like to have a fuss made over it.
   — Novashannon

May 28, 2006
Personally, from my own experience, I have found by NOT telling it and trying to keep it quiet, you will just add fuel to the fire. People should respect your personal business as private information, but they don't. No matter what you tell people, they will speculate and believe what they want to. It will be obvious that your eating patterns have changed, and you are losing at a greater speed than normal. Hence, their imaginations will soar and talk will build. If you truly want to stay out of the line of fire, when they ask, just tell them the truth and leave it at that. After I finally told people about my surgery and received positive remarks, I was able to support others who were interested in the surgery as well. I've learned there is nothing to hide as long as you know you are doing it for the right reasons...and helping others is a "right reason". Good luck. I hope all goes well for you.
   — shar

May 28, 2006
If you don't want certain people to know...then don't tell them. I told all of my family and friends....but only told two people at work. It's none of their business...and all they do is talk!! I'm 5 months post-op and down 80 lbs....but no one really noticed til I had already lost 40-50 lbs. I just told them that I had been dieting and exercising....so far no one has questioned it. If there are certain people you don't want to tell...then don't...it's really none of their business. Just do whatever you feel comfortable with.....it's your journey and share it with only those that you choose to....
   — mmcphee1

May 28, 2006
I have been here for over 5 years... Remember a previous question like this. Member who hadnt told found her co workers suspecting she was dying were planning on who would get her desk:( When she heard about this she told about WLS.
   — bob-haller

May 28, 2006
hello, first congratulations on having the surgery. it is a wonderful life change that you will be forever happy about. it will take a few months, but after that you will delighted. to your question, i would tell people. the support you get is great. true not everyone will be supportive of your decision, but this is for you not anyone else. when i had mine i sent out announcements, i wanted everyone to know. they loved them. i was so happy and excited that i wanted all my friends and family to know so they could support me. i just had my lower body and i sent out announcements again. the love and encouraging words i received have been a blessing. you have to decide on what you want to do. so good luck with your decision and your surgery. God Bless karrie
   — karrie777

May 29, 2006
The only person I told outside my family is someone I work with. If anyone else knows about the surgery it's because they either guessed or my co-worker let the cat out of the bag. It's been 3 years and I don't get questioned much any more. When I was I just told them that I cut my food intake by 1/2 then 1/2 again (true) and exercise (true). I personally don't believe that it's anyones business. If some choose to "guess" or gossip about aids or cancer (eyes rolling) then so be it. If they want specifics about diet I just tell them I cut out sugar and simple carbs.. Then point them towards the "Sugar Busters" diet.
   — SJP

May 30, 2006
Well there are only a handful of people outside of my family that know about it. They are close friends that i trust and know they won't say anything. When my mom had her WLS people talked a lot of crap and i'm not going to put myself through that. I also don't feel proud of the fact that i have gotten to the point where i need WLS. I'm grateful that it's available but for me it was a very difficult choice for me to make.
   — phranny19

May 30, 2006
I wanted to keep my surgery private, but decided it was better (for me, my kids and DH) to be open about it. I live in a very small town and everyone seems to know everyones business. If I tried to keep it secret, it would have become gossip fodder for sure. However, I believe that the choice is yours! You need to do what you are comfortable with. As for what to tell people -- most people believe that if we all just ate less and exercised more, we'd be normal weight... so tell them that! Because you ARE eating less and you ARE exercising more! Also, people will have NO idea how much you are losing; so when they ask (and they will ask) -- just smile and tell them "More than 50 pounds!" (If you tell them 150#, it will be too shocking. More than 50# is impressive, but not shocking.) Good luck!
   — [Deactivated Member]

July 2, 2006
If you've made the decision to lose weight w/ wls you have nothing to be ashamed of. You made the right choice for you and you will be the one who has to live with the decision. I tell people that I made a choice to be healthy, feel and look good about myself and many people respect that. Anyone who doesn't or criticizes you is either jealous or has their own insecurities about weight loss. I had overweight friends who put me down for having the surgery but secretly wished they had the guts to do it too. Especially after I lost 100#s and went from a size 24 to a size 8! No one is going to believe you lost a significant amount of weight w/ diet and exercise in such a short period of time - so just be honest! You've decided to be a healthier you and that's nothing to be ashamed of. Good Luck!
   — CHARLYLVN




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