Question:
Surgery in a few days, what to tell others?
I am having surgery in about a week and I still am not sure what to tell distant family and friends that I only see a few times a year or to my co-workers. I was thinking of saying I had my gallbladder removed and have had to change my diet and excersise habbits due to some health issues. What do you think? Does that sound okay? — kristikat82 (posted on September 5, 2006)
September 5, 2006
I didnt tell everyone that i was having surgery but those that I didn have
to tell (ie. immediate family, boss, close friends) I was honest with them
and told them what I was doing. My immeidate family had to know becuase my
mother nad I had the same suregery the same day, hospital and doctor, so we
couldnt both hide it from them... lol. I feel that HONESTY is the BEST
policy. WLS is not something to be ashamed of. YOU are taking control of
your health. you are doing this for YOU not for anyone else. I had people
that didnt wnat me to do it but they never had a good enought reason to
stop me! So... BE HONEST!
— AnneRie
September 5, 2006
First of all CONGRAD's.. I know it took me 4yrs to get there mentally b4 i
had surgery.. i finally had mine on 7/12/06 been off for 6 weeks.. lost 70
lbs and DOING GREAT.. for work i told them.. i have nothing to be ashamed
of. I did this for my health. just like you are doing... trust me it will
be ok..
good luck and if you ever need anything let me know..
maria
— italiangirlny
September 5, 2006
Hi and peace! ********** I wouldn't lie to anyone about anything. If
something MUST be said, then you could just say you are having "major
surgery" and leave it like that. That is if you had to tell them
before you went in. If you see them afterwards and you are obviously still
recouperating, then you could still use the major surgery line. Don't feel
as though you have to explain anything to anyone--you are under no
obligation to answer anyone's questions if it makes you uncomfortable. So
if they say, "Oh? What surgery?" you can politely reply,
"I'd rather not say." or "I'm sorry, but I'm keeping that
information private; I'm sure you understand." or something similar.
As for seeing family and/or friends and/or acquaintences AFTER the surgery,
after you have healed and obviously lost some weight, and they say,
"Wow, you've lost a lot of weight, what have you been doing?" you
can reply, "Oh...portion control, focusing on protein, and lots of
exercise!" This is an honest answer and they know what you want them
to know. Your decision to have WLS does not have to be shared with the
whole world, and there are ways to get out of announcing your decision. On
a personal note, I pretty much told everyone I was having the surgery and
found lots of support. Each of us is different--good luck! Portion
control, protein and exercise!!!!!! *******Winnie********
— utendn
September 5, 2006
That's the one that most people use. If there are obese people in your
life that might benefit from your experience and advice though, you might
even feel obligated to tell them about your journey and how much it has
changed your life, just so they can possibly have a life-changing (and
prolonging!) experience themselves. I tell everyone about gastric bypass
surgery. There are SO many falsehoods, misconceptions and horror stories
floating around that I almost feel it's my duty to set the record straight
and counsel others that could benefit from the surgery.
— j_coulter
September 6, 2006
I was thinking of telling my co-workers (I work in a high school) that I
was having surgery and leave it to their imagination....I thought about
gall bladder or hernia too. I know I don't want many people to know the
truth. My friend told her co-workers that she was having surgery and they
all thought it was a hysterectomy. When she returned quite a bit thinner
She then told them she was working out with a personal trainer and watching
her diet and they still think that is what did it. I will tell my family
and friends that I did have the surgery because of health issues and I am
sure they will all be understanding!
— Sheri A.
September 6, 2006
You can tell people what you like- however from my own experience- I didn't
want to talk to many people about the surgery- especially my sisters since
I felt I would be judged- what I found was I spent an awful lot of
emotional energy struggling with this issue and it only tired me out-
opennes and honesty are the best-
— dabby
September 6, 2006
Well, I feel and look so much better it isn't funny. I tell everyone I had
gastric bypass and would do it again if I had it to do over again. Be happy
not ashamed of anything you are doing something great for yourself...
— NYCindy
September 6, 2006
If you are self conscious, just tell people you are having surgery. If they
ask, tell the truth. Nothing is worse than lying like Star Jones did. She
lied, wrote a book, made up stuff. That doesn't help anyone. I am anxious
to help anyone who has the same problem as me if they want it.
— geneswife
September 6, 2006
Christina, why do you need to tell anyone anything beforehand? If you are
nervous, just wait until afterwards - you can't unring a bell! What are
they gonna say afterwards? I would just tell them, with a lot of
confidence, that you had WLS and you're happy and proud and only want to
hear the good stuff. That is what I did - I told my mom that shw could
tell anyone anything, but if anyone was negative don't bother calling me -
I did not need to hear anything negative. And you may be surprised - I
have a sis-in-law who is 99 pounds soaking wet and she can be a bit
"prickly" and I thought, okay here comes the negative energy.
Guess who was gushing how proud she was and how cool it was that I did
this? Yes, her. So you never know! But I would just present this as your
personal decision and everyone who wants to hop your happy train - great.
Those who don't can stay in the station! Best of health to you! Lynn
— Mrs. Crabapple
September 7, 2006
If you rarely see them, why do you need to tell them anything? I told my
close family and that was all. At first, after surgery, I did not feel
like talking about it, but now I tell anyone who asks me that I had the
surgery, because it is nothing to be ashamed of.
You don't have to tell anyone anything till you are comfortable doing so.
If they ask, you have every right to say, "I am not ready to talk
about it yet."
— Novashannon
September 10, 2006
Hi Christina,
I didn't tell many people before my surgery either. I didn't want to hear
the horror stories about their cousins friends boyfriends mother who had
complications after surgery 10 years ago. I work in a hospital so I told
some at work that I was having my gall bladder out and others I said my
knee but as the date of surgery got closer I started telling people,
"I'm tired of the way women get treated at work and I'm going in for a
sex change." People stopped asking after that. Good Luck.
— citygirl1971
November 9, 2006
Hi Christina
I do not want to tell anyone at my job- for many reasons. Not even my boss.
I only told one person who I work closely with. I can trust her. I do
however, feel bad about lying to people (nice people-even though they are
nosey and don't mind their business!) I just don't want to be the subject
of anyone's conversation. Now, if someone who is overweight and struggling
and asks me point blank, I have no choice but to share my experience with
them. But to be truthful, I would rather not discuss it with any of them
and I am also nervous about what is the best way to respond.
— Cassandre
November 9, 2006
I told only my parents and siblings about my wls. I told everyone else
that I was having my hyatle hernia repaired(that was done at the same
time). When people started noticing my weight loss and asked me how I was
doing it I told them that because of my surgery my doctor had me on a
strict diet and exercise routine(all true). By not revealing all of the
details you are not lying to anyone. Do not let anyone make you feel
guilty or feel like you are lying to anyone by not telling eveyone about
your wls, it is nobody's business unless you want it to be their business.
— tazfan
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