Question:
Scared to gain weight back once lost

I am scheduled for RNY in August. I am scared that I will gain the weight back that I will loose, because I have such unquenchable desires to over eat NOW. I know I am not hungry. I know I need to stop overeating, but I feel driven and I am so scared this will continue after surgery. I have struggled with my weight and dieting for most of my 45 years.    — judij (posted on June 26, 2007)

June 26, 2007
Your concerns are valid and it's great you're thinking about this prior to surgery. Head hunger is really tough and it isn't going to go away with RNY or any other surgery. RNY is only a tool. I've read posts where people are 2 days post-op and are starving - that isn't humanly possible - it's just in their heads..they have to eat. I would highly suggest seeing a counselor to help you get a grip on your eating disorder. And the sooner the better because after surgery, it's only going to get worse. If you go in to surgery prepared, with a counselor helping you with the mind issues, and you've thoroughly researched your operation and are prepared for the changes, there's no reason why you can't be a true success story. And mention your fears to your surgeon - s/he might be able to point you in the right direction as well. Best wishes to you as you begin your journey! ~Sarah in VA (14 mos. post-op, below goal, lost 158 lbs, open-RNY)
   — platypus

June 26, 2007
Dear Judi! Congrats on your decision to have surgery. I have struggled with obesity since the age of 4 or 5. I lived to eat, and could think of little else over 42 years. No matter what I was doing or who I was with, thoughts/fantasies of food prevailed. I ate my way up to 401 pounds before I hit rock-bottom. The food I viewed as my best friend betrayed me, and I was actually dying at my own hand. Before surgery, I went to an psych evaluation, a requirement of my insurance company pre-RNY. I made a list of 25 things to do instead of compulsive eating. I was weary, because I had been a professional failure at dieting for 42 years. Guess what? After surgery, I realized that I had never felt fullness in my life. My hunger was insatiable! Surgery was the tool I needed to get jump-started. It was physical, as well as mental. I was released from the compulsion to eat for several months,never hungry, as I learned to live with my new stomach. This was enough time to garner some positive results. After several months, while the urge to eat did return, my positive life changes made me accountable for the first time in my life. I have now lost almost 250 pounds, and weigh less than I did at 10 years old. My best advice is to approach this from all angles, psychological as well as phsyical. Join a support group, get us much info as you can. If I can do it, you can too. I am with you in spirit, and always here if you want to write. Fond wishes, Pam
   — pjwilsen

June 26, 2007
Hi Judi, thanks for writing. You are very aware of an issue that you must deal with. Head hunger is something everyone has, and obese people love to run to their food when the first sign of time in their day occurs. You absolutely will deal with head hunger. You absolutely will deal with what you speak about in your question. Be afraid, but be motivated to be challenged. Facing the truth is the beginning of change. Ok you know that you have a strong desire to eat, you lust after food, even more than before, now that you KNOW you are having your surgery in August, you are down for the final binge. You have convinced yourself that it is ok to do this and that you can maybe deal with the issue after surgery. Many people have done this and still DO deal with it post surgery and have success. I don't for one minute advocate binging until surgery, especially since you have at least 4 to 6 or so weeks before you have surgery. Here is my suggestion to you Judi. Take a hard look at yourself. Even more than before. I know you have, everyone who has tried diets for most of their 45 years had to take a hard look at themselves many times. But, just for the sake of the question, take some time and do it again. Check on what you CAN do, not on what you can't. So, lets say you have problem with portion size. Ok start walking, start an exercise program, and maybe cut out all drinks but milk and water. You may not lose weight, but I guarantee you will be more fit for surgery. Let's say you like to eat all the time. Ok, change some of the foods you eat all the time, but not all of them. Try some celary with peanut butter or an apple and toast rather than true junk. And start exercise and do the drink thing. Do SOMETHING to prepare yourself for surgery. Part of what you are going through is strictly anxiety, but you will have to learn to deal with anxiety, or you are right, you will get your weight back to keep. Obesity is a head issue with a body consequence. You would be very wise to deal with some head issues now and challenge yourself to be faithful in something. When I decided to have surgery, I promised my husband that I would stop drinking diet coke with lemon (a real favorite) and no carbonated beverages. When I was scheduled, I stopped, and didn't pick up a diet coke until I was almost 3 years post op. One of my best decisions was a simple one. It taught me that I can make a choice and stick to it if I want something bad enough. I lost all my weight and at 3 1/2 years out I am still a size 4 to 6. If you deal with the head issues, your body consequence will be something you like, if you don't it will be YOUR choice, but the consequence is what you say above. Wls is a tool, not a miracle, and if you use your tool, protein, water, exercise, you have a good shot of great success, if you don't use your tool, the decision is yours, you are an adult, but the consequence will be yours as well. I wish you well, and believe me Judi, you are worth it. You are in for the fight of your life, but stand up and fight girl, you are worth it! Take care, Patricia P.
   — Patricia P

June 27, 2007
The first step is admitting you have a problem. I would suggest seeing a therapist (ask your PCP for a referral) or sign up for education classes in weight management, etc. You HAVE to get the mental aspects in check - as you might be setting yourself up to fail. Or you could be one of those people who learn as they go.....but....I would suggest getting things in check first. Good luck with everything!!
   — jammerz

June 27, 2007
I'm only 4 mths out; however, my partner did gain about 20 lbs back but she is almost 4 years out. I've heard of people gaining weight back but its been very minimal.
   — the7thdean