Question:
VERY IMPORTANT: PLEASE HELP! State of Mind before surgery
After all the research I have done, it seems as if just about everyone I read about is thrilled that the had WLS (a few months after surgery). Everyone seems to br/have been so completely sure about the surgery. Because of these I am actually very embarrassed to even be asking this but it has been running me around so much and I know this is the best place to ask. PLEASE HELP and be honest as non-judgmentally as possible: I do have my fleeting doubts that I might be making a mistake. That maybe I will miss food too much, that maybe I will be the one in a thousand that dies or has some serious complications. I am 95% sure but not 100%. Is this terrible???? It seems like everyone else is 100% sure! Has anyone else had thse thoughts that this might end up being a mistake but went through with the surgery anyway?? I am prepared to make the lifestyle changes and have already started but I still run scared and am doubting myself from time to time. PLEASE HELP-I AM VERY STRESSED OUT ABOUT THESE FEELINGS AND WHETHER OR NOT THEY ARE "NORMAL" OR DANGER SIGNS??!! — matino (posted on July 28, 2008)
July 28, 2008
Oh Anna - I don't think you are wrong.. I bet there are more people out
there just before surgery who will tell you the same things. i had my RNY
almost 3 years ago. I was terrified. I kept second guessing myself - why
coudln't I just got back to Weight Watchers ONE MORE TIME... but I knew
that wasn't an option - I had done that time and time again. I needed
something drastic but up until I went under that morning - I wasn't sure I
was doing the right thing. Now looking back 3 years - I know I made the
right decision. Anytime you do something drastic like this you usually
second guess yourselves.. so hang in there- stay calm and relax. Its all
going to turn out fine and when you start losing - you will start having
fun - watching the scale drop and drop and drop. Good luck with surgery!
Anne Kirsch
— akirsch
July 28, 2008
You are definately not alone! This is the first time I have posted here
and I am in the process of going through all the testing, etc. I am
PETRIFIED of all the things you mentioned - but basically what if I can't
do it? What if, what if, what if....I've never had surgery before so I am
freaking out about that, in addition to the rest like you have mentioned.
I can say I continue to read all the wonderful words of wisdome from those
that have gone through it and are on their way..thanks to all of you who
answer these posts -- you are helping people and not even knowing it!
Thanks to all of you...Jan
— moneteyes
July 28, 2008
I can completely understand your thinking, I am going to have surgery on
the 30th of this month, so in two days!!! and I was definately going thru
the exact same thoughts. Here is my rashionality, if I stop my bariatric
planning right now what is my weight going to balloon up to? and how long
will I live when I get to that ever increasing number? and what will my
quality of life be? if I am unhappy with myself now, what will I be like
when I get to that unspecified weight? and most importantly how will my
unhappiness affect my loved ones
( My child/children, spouse, mother, father, ect.).
I refuse to let myself self-destruct to that point! I am fighting and I
will win my battle with food addictions, and so will you!
right now your rethinking this because that is the easier thing to do. but
if we always take the easier route, what will we ever accomplish?
Bare with it. You can do it, I promise! We'll do it together!
— dancinlady83
July 28, 2008
I put off the surgery more than one time. I went to every doctors lecturer
that I could find, and I always was scared. Scared because i was 62 and
knew that I was going to die if I did not have the surgery and scared
because i was 62 and too old for the surgery. Scared because I though I
could never give up the food I ate all my life. All for no reason, as I am
now a health nut. I cna not beleive that I will not touch bread, Rice,
Pasta and any fatty meats. I only taste a desert, and I mean a small taste
and that is it. I love the weight that I have lost, and feel like a fool
because they had to knock me out before surgery because I was a wreck when
I arrived at the hospital and then they had to tell me I had to weight for
3 hours. Then they came back and said get ready, gave me a IV and knocked
me out and I woke up 7 hours later in my room. I still had to wait 3
hours, just my wife knew it, as they saw I was going nuts with stress.
Ask for something now to help with the stress, and tell your sergeon that
you are stressed out thinking about the surgery. Let me just tell you this
tht no one told me before. If you went to the hospital today and they told
you you had to have your appendex out or you would die by morning, you
would do it, and not think twice. This surgery is no worse, and you will
die of overweight, just not by morning. Do you every go to an old folks
home and see any fat people there as patients? No, there are none. They
all die before they get to a real old age. Lose it now and see you grand
kids grow up and get married! There is a lot to life, so why hang on to
food like so many dopes have done with tobacco and die and early death.
Food is adaticive and really, we need to eat to live, not live to eat as i
did for 62 years. Please join us on the road to a skinner self.
— William (Bill) wmil
July 28, 2008
I too had the same feeling. I thought that I would be the one in 1000 and
especially after I lost 30 lbs before surgery. I thought that if i can lose
weight on my own why do I need this. Let me tell you the feelings will
pass. I am 3 mos post op and already down 84 lbs including the 30 before. I
look alot better, feel alot better and I don't take all the meds that I
used to.I really thought that I would miss foods so much but in fact i do
not. I still can have a taste of something (everything in moderation). I
really thought I would miss giving up alcohol (no i am not an alkiea) but I
do enjoy having a few with friends. I can still do that in moderation as
well just no where near as much as the average person.
Please don't stress yourself out. I too, thought that the doubts I had were
a sign or something telling me not to do it. I am very glad that I did and
I know you will feel the same.
— bikermama
July 28, 2008
Hi, There is nothing abnormal about the way you feel...
I have been deciding about surgery for the last 10 years. The time was
never right, I had every excuse not to do it, money, time, insurance, yada,
yada...the real reason was I was scared and embarrassed that I could not
get it together enough to lose the weight without maiming my body...Well, I
finally gave in on June 30th to surgery. My husband had it in December and
seeing him go through it and be able to eat like a normal person and not be
starving all the time was all I needed.
I was apprehesive before surgery with what ifs. Who doesn't? But I also
knew that I needed to do something serious about my weight and that I was
not going to go on any kind of a diet that would keep the weight down...I
had nothing to lose.
I suggest you sit down with yourself and make 2 lists, the pros and cons of
surgery....If the pro side comes out much longer than the con side...I
think you will put your mind at ease...The other suggestion, counselling
and support groups...they can both help you work out the mental issues..
I have serious issues with hanging elephant skin, but my issues with dieing
too young are much stronger so surgery won out....
— lori042499
July 28, 2008
I would dare say that most everyone who has had ANY serious surgery is
anxious and worried about the "what ifs". Remember that by
staying morbidly obese if you don't have the surgeryyou are taking a HUGE
risk. By having the surgery, you are "risking" getting
healthier, living longer and better and finally doing all the things you
want to do without the albatross of shame and blame as well as pounds
weighing you down.
When you cross the street, you are taking a risk. To do anything new and
different is to take a risk. Concentrate on how positive this change will
be.... and have faith in your surgeon and yourself. You will be so glad
that you accomplished this! Think positive thoughts!
Flora
— MusigalF
July 28, 2008
I did the exact same thing as you're doing. I worried and stressed myself
out to the max. Then I reminded myself of how I felt...everytime I wanted
to play actively with my then 3 year old son...and how I couldn't get
myself up and down very easily...or was out of breath...or just didn't want
to do anything with him. I also reminded myself...of the risk in
surgery...being one in 200....and therefore I did my planning in regard to
that as well... writing everything down specifically....so my husband would
know how to handle things...and how I wanted my son cared for. I think in
doing that....I had myself feeling prepared for the worst...but yet....I
knew in doing that...it brought me relief in my worries. Now,
dear....after nearly 10 mos....I can honestly and truthfully say....this
was the best decision I have ever made in regard to MYSELF. I took care of
myself....therefore I am here to take care of my son. He needs me....and
I'm so grateful for this surgery getting me there. I missed food...it's
our friend....but it's a fair weathered friend indeed. I journal....and
walk...and play with my son.... whenever I feel food is getting the best of
me. In the beginning it's a bit rough...getting over the head
hunger....but you may be surprised how motivated you become when that
weight comes off......and the more motivated you are...the less hungry.
You may even be one of the lucky ones that loses their appetite all
together after surgery....for the first few months at least. I'm just
saying.... that there are always a million reasons to not do this.... but
there's just as many to do it for. I really did it for me....but I did it
because I wanted to live longer....and be here to see my son grow up with
his mom....not without. Is it living if you're barely able to breathe or
move? I can move pretty fast now...and I feel a million times better than
I did 10 months ago. Talk to your therapist about your worries.....and
keep informed about what direction is right for you. Just know you're not
alone in your fears.....face them though...and do what you need to do FOR
YOU. But you know you need to lose weight....so figure out the best way
for that. For me...this was it. God bless you and keep you strong.
Hugs....Cheryl
— Cheryl K.
July 28, 2008
Hi, Anna. I know I'm well-prepared; I researched for a year before deciding
to go for a consult with the surgeon I picked. I honestly doubt most people
are completely sure of their decision - if it's like all the post-ops'
answers it's more they had to do something besides the yo-yo dieting so
they decided
to explore this. I can also tell you that when I got my date - August 26 -
yay! - finally!) I was so happy and relieved that day, the got really
nervous and began to think about what the repercussions would be without
done. I took a good hard look at my life over the last year - that's how
long I've been on the pre-op program - and I realize how much I've changed
because of the process. the surgery is only a tool, and for me that's an
important point to remember. Also, you may well be able to eat whatever you
like - I've seen some in my meetings that can eat and drink anything, while
others struggle to even get water down for the first several months.I
hoping you and I are 2 of the lucky ones ~ Good Luck!
— obeseforever
July 28, 2008
Anna I did not read the other answer's people gave but I am going to tell
that my surgery is TOMORROW and still everyday since I have set my surgery
date I battle myself. I get scared then excited and so on. I think with any
surgery it is normal to worry and yes this one is an elective surgery BUT
if you didn't think you really needed it you wouldn't have come this far.
You will "miss" food it is a disease like being an alcoholic I am
sure for awhile if not lifetime they constantly think about drinking. I am
an ex-smoker of almost a year and I know my addiction runs deep with it
because I still dream of a cigarette! You just need to sit down and write a
list of pros and cons for this surgery and then talk it over with family
and friends you trust. Tell them of your fears and concerns and ask them
not to judge you. This whole process for me has been one big stress ball. I
have 3 small children at home and I constantly think about the possibility
of leaving them behind by having this surgery but I know if I don't have it
I will be leaving them behind early because eventually I will develop major
health problems from my weight. Please just take a deep breath and try to
relax. The decision to have surgery is a hard one and I know you will make
the best decision for you! *Hugs* You will do great!!!!!!!!!!!
— bridgadean
July 28, 2008
The morning of my rny I laid in my bed at the hospital waiting to be taken
to pre-op, and I was thinking, "I hope I'm not making a mistake. I
hope I will not regret this." I had thought about it for two years and
had prepared for it for 1one year. Well I am 3 week out and I am sure I did
the right thing. My mind is not obsessed with food anymore. I am really
never hungry but eat because I know i have to. Your concerns are completly
normal.
— sistubbs
July 28, 2008
I just want to say "ditto" to everything all of these wonderful
people have already said in their replies... I was scared too, but I knew I
was slowwlllyyy dying from being so overweight, and knew I could not lose
it and keep it off through dieting, I had already tried a million times. I
was scared, any surgery has risks, not just weight loss surgery, but
sometimes in life we need surgery - knee surgery or a tonsillectomy for
example. This is a surgery like any surgery and you will get through it,
and before you know it, it will all just be a memory and you'll be dropping
weight like crazy!!! I also went through a "mourning" period
before surgery and after surgery, "mourning" the bad foods I was
no longer going to be eating, but I got over that alot more quickly and a
lot more easily than I had imagined - it passed.
— Gina S.
July 28, 2008
I dont think there is anyone out there who can honestly say this hasnt
happend to them. I went through it everyone I know that had this surgery
has gone through this. We all are here for you. I even had a post on my
profile that I deleted because I was sure I was going to die. I sat up all
night crying two days before surgery just staring at my daughter thinking I
was going to leave her behind and never see her again. ALL this is VERY
VERY normal. Once you are being prepped for surgery you are so excited to
get it done you wont even be thinking about the what if's. Then in a few
weeks you will be answering someone else just like we are doing for you.
Hang in there we are all here for you!
— Kimberlin Katayama
July 28, 2008
Oh sweetie...No one is 100% at ease with having surgery to correct a
problem they could not do on their own even though they had the means
to...EVERYONE knows how to lose weight...but not everyone can keep it
off...That is why we have surgery to begin with...Anyone that tells you
they weren't scared or didn't have second thoughts is dishonest. With that
being said...I was certain that I didn't want to live the way I was at 315+
lbs. walking with a cane in such horrendous pain, with diabetes and GERD
and thyroid trouble and depression and being just miserable and confined to
my own house because I was afraid that if we went somewhere I might not fit
in the booth or chair or be ablee to walk or keep up with my family...In
that sense I was certain I was ready at all costs...even if I died it had
to be better than that. I was terrified...I had a year waiting list...so
it gave me plenty of time to TRY to lose weight one last time..and to
research the pros and cons...I knew what was expected of me...and I knew
that the tool would help me not "need" the food I love...so that
was enough...I knew I would be able to eat some of the old foods I loved in
moderation (later)...And that is exactly what I do now...I'm not
perfect...but I finally feel normal...I look-like and eat like a regular
person minus all the crap...I LOVE LOVE LOVE eating healthy...Even my
family loves it...I was gonna take a photo of what is in my frig right
now...It's sooooo colorful and pretty! LOL All fresh veggies and fruits
and jello and yogurt and cottage cheese...Lean lunch meats...This is how I
eat now...I don't miss the junk...not at all. Not even a little. And I am
one that LOVES food...I make gourmet lean meals with these foods...My
family all comes home for dinner...I will make them rice and potatoes a few
times a week...but they don't miss that sort of stuff anymore either.
Occasionally I'll make myself a boca burger and they get spaggetti and
breads! LOL I can't eat that stuff...I love it...it doesn't love me
anymore...(Like trying to swallow a rubber hose) So the surgery makes it
posible to give up food without a mental struggle ...It is physically
impossible for me to eat those things without pain, gas, bloating, nausea
or all of the above...After a while, you just don't want that feeling ever
again! So you eat right and everything is grand! Driving in traffic on a
late friday night after the bars close than getting surgery that made my
life 100% more healthy, and happy is more risky on paper...The risks were
worth it...Is driving to the store for a midnightt snack of icecream worth
the risk of a car accident? No, but we all take that risk for granted
daily...if not several times a day...My son joined the army last summer...I
was crippled with fear...I realised that many jobs also hold their
risks...Police, firemen, contruction workers, truck drivers...oh and so
many many more...I can't sit here in fear that my son will go to Iraq and
be killed...I refuse to live my life in that kind of fear...I have to trust
that the army taught him his job and how to defend himself if or more
likely WHEN he goes to Iraq. I will deal with that day when it
arrives...Til then, I am a proud mom of a young military soldier. I
support him 200%. If I focused on the worry, I'd be afraid that would be
worse for him and me! So I focus on the good stuff...the pros that far
outweigh the cons of all risks...You have to do that too and find peace
with the decision you make...Don't worry if you cannot go thru with
surgery...IT"S YOUR RIGHT! No one will judge you. But if you do have
surgery...You will have a WHOLE LOT OF supporters and friends here and at
live support groups.
You are not alone in worry...Fear is a gift if usued in moderation like
everything else...When fear cripples you, it's morea disease than a warning
device to protect you. A little fear though makes you cautious and that is
exactly what keeps people safe and focused! The more yoou learn about the
surgery you want to have the more "knowledge" will ease your
crippling fear...If not...don't have the surgery...It's that simple.
— .Anita R.
July 28, 2008
Please don't beat yourself up about the feelings you are having. IMO they
are prefectly normal. WLS is a BIG DEAL and to take it as seriously as you
should, anyone would/should have doubts and fears.
For me the worst part (once I felt better from surgery and could eat food I
liked more) was giving up my relationship to food. It was a love/hate
relationship that was making me fat and miserable. I will probably always
miss it but I like looking and feeling better/healthier WAY MORE than I
liked my food.
The important thing is to have other things in your life that give u
happiness. If food is the only thing then it can be a big problem.
Good luck.
— cjjordan
July 28, 2008
I did not know about this site before I had the surgery. I was a bit
scared as well. I suffer from FibroMialgia, arthritis, and severe
migraines. I was concerned that the surgery may cause my diseases symptoms
to flare up since I noticed that my symptoms seemed worse when I was
hungry. I was worried that since my surgery was going to reduce my caloric
intake and thus leave me "permanently hungry," I might experience
an INCREASE in my symptoms. I, TOO, was afraid of dieing during surgery.
I looked at it THIS way. I was going to die ANYWAY. I might as well die
TRYING to get healthy. My FEARS were all unfounded. The surgery has done
nothing but IMPROVE my situation. ALL of my disease symptoms have shown a
major improvement INCLUDING my diabetes! I have STOPPED taking my diabetes
medications altogether. I went from taking 70 to 80 units of insulin a day
and 4 pills of Glucovance a day to taking NOTHING! I had my surgery on
March 1. I took my last glucovance pill on EASTER DAY. On that day, my
blood sugar dropped TOO LOW and I had to take SUGAR to raise it back to
NORMAL levels. After that, the only time I have had to take diabetes
medication was when I was given steroids for a damaged ligament in my knee.
After a week, I was off the diabetes meds again. To answer your question,
Yes, it is normal to feel some trepidation pre-op. Having gone THROUGH it,
I would do it AGAIN in a heartbeat!
— hubarlow
July 28, 2008
Don't be embarrassed and don't stress out. I was far from 100% sure and had
many of those same doubts--even afterward! But I'm nearly 5 months out now
and not looking back! I believe this is part of the reason why they make
you wait a few months and do the psych evaluation--to make sure you're
ready mentally and committed to it, that it's not a spur-of-the-moment
decision. ANY surgery comes with risk, but the procedures are fairly old
hat now. Just do everything they tell you to do, including the liquid diet.
You'll be fine.
— suezahn4me
July 28, 2008
Being sure usually means, you have honestly planned for the rest of your
life being post-op from WLS. Fear is good, since it allows us to explore
seasons for doubt.
If you have gone to classes, seen your PCP, Surgeon, Psychologist, group
sessions, keep food, exercise, daily diary type journals and measure and
weigh all of your food, take your Bariatric vitamins, measured your body
parts, and logged it all down for post-op comparison; you are probably more
than ready.
If you have unresolved issues about drinking sodas, chewing gum, candy
eating, and nuts, craving simple carbohydrates and thick juicy steaks and
burgers; more likely work is still needed. If you can truly say yes, I have
conquered my demons, about these things, you are more than ready, if not
you should keep working until things are not as scary to you, since that
probably is your enter voice saying you still need to work at it.
Problems with emotions, food, exercising, and what ever else that you can
imagine will be even harder to deal with post-op, so make sure you have
your life in order before your surgery date because that usually is what
separates those who come out of surgery feeling great and a excellent
experience and, those that were not truly prepared, and are struggling
harder than anything they could foresee.
Hope this helps. Best luck for a successful WLS experience.
— sor09
July 28, 2008
This is a normal train of thought. If you didn't think like this, then you
wouldn't be normal. None of us are normal that is why we had the surgery.
Even after surgery there is lots of self-doubt and emotional issues that
need help find the answers to.
Remember this is for HEALTH and LIFE, this is work. Good luck and keep
reading, everyone will help guide you thru your decisions.
— C-There
July 28, 2008
I am postop from Lap RNY on July 25, 2008 and I can tell you that I did all
the research that I could preop and I knew this surgery inside and out. But
even being as informed as I was I still had doubts and I didn't have those
horrible doubts until the day of surgery which was a horrible feeling.
Though the pain that I have been feeling since surgery I have wondered if I
made the right decision but I have to look past that and ask myself if I
would rather be overweight and able to eat whatever or if I would rather be
here to see my children graduate highschool.
This decision came down to me having to be very honest with myself I had to
ask myself if without this surgery would I ever lose the weight and keep it
off....sadly the answer was no I did not have the willpower to help myself
so chosing this tool to help me I'm sure has saved my life.
There will be certain foods I'm sure I will miss but my goal is to break my
relationship with food and finally learn how to live.
Good luck and if you ever need anything please don't hesitate to ask.
Jackie
— RN2B2009
July 28, 2008
I TOTALLY felt this way in the week before surgery. Had me in tears more
than once. After 8 months of fighting, to have second thoughts...it was
scary, and it was wierd, and I felt like I COULDN'T back out, because I had
to "hard-sell" it to my loved ones. And I'm the Queen of
"if you have second thoughts, don't do it." Luckily, I had a
friend who'd had surgery 4 months before, and I cried to her on IM for that
entire pre-op period, and she was TOTALLY there for me. THIS IS TOTALLY
NORMAL! It's surgery, and surgery is scary. Just be kind to yourself, and
remember how firmly you've believed in this all along. You'll get there!
:)
— crydecker
July 29, 2008
I'm about 3 weeks away from my surgery and I have my moments of doubt. I
know it's my brain playing tricks on me. I think about the food I won't be
able to eat again and it freaks me out BUT once I get those random thoughts
under control, I'm back to being really excited about my new life. Speaking
for myself only, I have used food as a crutch for so long that not having
it and having to stand on my own 2 feet can be very daunting. Then I remind
myself how miserable I've been and how tired I am of watching life pass me
by. I am sure I will flucuate between happiness and fear in the months to
come and I will handle it all a day at a time. Hang in there, your thoughts
are very normal.
— annabellapeekin
July 29, 2008
I thought it was 1 in 500 that died on the table.
If you are having second thoughts then don't do it. The op will always be
there.
— GaryLGreen
July 29, 2008
Hi - I know you have totally had enough answers - which is awesome, so I
just wanted to re-affirm everything that is being said....IT'S OKAY to feel
this way. I think my biggest fear was "would I fail"? I have
failed at every other weight loss attempt...and what would people
say/think...well, I had to get past that and say WHO CARES!!!! I did this
for myself, my daughter and my husband who support and love me
unconditionally and that was good enough for me!!! :) I am not gonna lie -
you feel this way now - and after surgery you will most likely feel this
way again and the feeling will be intensified by 10....most people I have
talked to have all experienced the "OH WHAT HAVE I DONE???"
Moments/minutes/hours/days after Weight loss surgery - it is not a walk in
the park by any means....HOWEVER...it is also true that most people down
the road say it is the best theing they ever did for themselves and would
do it again (I am 7 months out and I can proudly say I am one of those
now!). It is a huge lifestyle change, but just embrace it.....and remember
everything will return to "normal" - it just won't be the
"normal" you know now.. it will "look" different - but
you will LOVE IT!!! You will be more in love with yourself, and be
healthy, and in 6 Months down the road - you will be standing in next to
many of us who will proudly say "I WOULD DO IT AGAIN IN A
HEARTBEAT!!!" Good Luck & God Bless you!
— jennw2ns
July 29, 2008
Probably anyone who says they didn't have second thoughts, worries or fears
would be in human. It is very normal to have those thoughts. But believe
me, once you have it done there is an assuredness that sets in that you did
the right thing for you. I had the gastric sleeve on June 16th of this
year. And I had people ask me that. Won't you miss the foods you can no
longer eat. The truth is I have not had one single craving and I was
addicted to a lot of things. This surgery has changed my life for the
better in so many ways. You will be just fine. Just realize that those
thoughts going thru your mind are very normal. And I think everyone
wonders about the what ifs..... Everyone I've talked to has said they
thought what if it doesn't work for me and I go thru all this for nothing.
IF YOU FOLLOW THE PLAN, DO WHAT THE DOCTOR SAYS, EAT PROPER AND EXERCISE
THE WEIGHT HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO COME OFF. Don't look at it as a diet. You
are making a choice to eat healthy for the rest of your life and there are
enough substitutes available to satisfy your hunger that you won't miss the
bad things you used to eat. You will be a whole new you. God Bless you in
your endeavors.... It will be great!!!
— Jodi L.
July 29, 2008
It is absolutely NORMAL to have feelings of doubt and fear. I went through
the same thing- it took me 7 years to make the decision to do WLS. Even on
the day of surgery I was frightened and doubtful. Now that I have had the
surgery I'm extremely happy with my choice, even though I had
complications. This has been an excellent tool and has given me a whole
new lease on life. If you have a local WLS support group I'd suggest going
just so you can talk about what YOU are feeling and get support. Making
lifestyle changes is an ongoing process and remembering that this is a tool
and not a "cure" will be incredibly helpful. Best wishes!!
— Mokit
July 29, 2008
Hi Ana, I'm in the same position as you are. I am nervous and anxious about
making this big decision about surgery. BUT I feel like I've given myself
the last 45 years to make good food decisions and haven't been able to do
it on my own. I've been on every diet known to man and have lost weight on
all of them but keeping to the program just hasn't been working for me. I
think I'm one of those live to eat people. I have to stop this every year
adding another 10lbs or so. I want to live a nice long life and enjoy the
things thin people take for granted. I feel like If I don't do this now my
good years will have passed me by and it will have been my own fault. I
would suggest doing some serious soul searching and see what your heart
tells you. Mine is saying do it and make the changes that will make the
rest of your life so much more worth living!! I'm scheduled for surgery on
the 21st of August!! Good luck and lets do this together and be the thinner
people we know is inside of us!! Barbara Devlin
— babsdevlin
July 29, 2008
You are NOT nuts! I think that just about everyone has doubts. I did
because if the same things you do. I thought that I would miss food and I
just knew that my life was going to awful and that it wouldn't work and
then everyone would say that I failed yet again. It is normal to have
fears, we are only human. I had them until I walked out the door to go. I
even had them walking into the hospital. lol Then things got moving and it
went so fast that I never thought of anything but the surgery again. I told
the doctor when he came to see in holding to let's get this show on the
road. I have never ever regretted the surgery and NO! I don't miss food. I
still eat food so how can you miss it? I love my new life and I feel so
good and healthy for the first time I can ever remember. You will be fine
and you will lose weight too. The only thing that stands in our way of
changing is ourselves. Please oh please allow yourself to live the life
that is so great. Don't stand in your own way. Good luck and my prayers are
with you.
— Brenda R.
July 29, 2008
i HAD ALL THESE DOUDTS MYSELF. I AM NOW THREE WEEKS OUT. THE NIGHT AFTER MY
SURGERY I WAS SURE I HAD MADE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE. BUT NOW I AM
HAPPY I MADE THE CHOICE TO DO IT.IT IS A MAJOR LIFE CHANGE YOU MUST BE
COMMITED TO BUT I AM SURE IT WILL BE WORTH IT IN THE LONG RUN.
— cecilie
July 29, 2008
Anna -- to reiterate what just about everyone has said here, what you're
feeling is completely normal. Your sanity is completely intact and working
fine. To put it into perspective, as morbidly obese individuals we have
been CONDITIONED to expect failure where weight loss in concerned.
"Of course the surgery won't work," we think. "The 842
times we went to Weight Watchers didn't work, the 842 million dollars we
spent on Nutri-System and Jenny Craig didn't work, and don't get me started
on that cleansing diet that did nothing but give me a serious case of the
trots for six months. Diarrhea for days, and not a pound to show for
it." It's perfectly normal to be nervous, and to worry that you'll be
the one it won't work for or the one who will die or the one who will end
up with freakish complications. All of the foregoing is extremely rare,
and who's to say you won't go out tomorrow and get hit by a bus? As for
myself, I was nervous about my surgery (VBG in April 2000), but I figured I
had maybe a 1 in 1,000 (or 500, or whatever the actual number is) chance of
dying from the operation and a 100% chance of dying from the co-morbidities
of being 350 pounds. I took "dead maybe, and not very likely"
over "dead for sure". Food was my life before the surgery, and
now I couldn't really care one way or the other, and, in the beginning,
needed to be REMINDED to eat. My suggestion -- sit back, take a breath,
and recognize that those of us who have taken this journey before you have
been there, done that, and own the t-shirt concession. Acknowledge your
fears, and embrace your new life. Blessings and thoughts --
— Cheryl Denomy
July 29, 2008
I was 100% CERTAIN I WOULD DIE IN SURGERY:( Amazed and shocked to wake up
in recovery. Geez that was over 7 years ago. time sure flies
— bob-haller
July 29, 2008
I think you got your answer. I haven't seen this many responses to any
other question before. We all have concerns and doubts. Make a list of
all the things that can happen to you if you don't have the surgery. Look
at what your life expectancy will be if you don't have the surgery, be
honest with yourself. My was grim. I wanted to live longer than that. I
had the surgery with no problems and I imaged the worst. I'm four weeks
out I've lost 26 pounds and feel great. It was worth it. Lisa
— ldillabough
July 29, 2008
You are totally normal. I had surgery 5 days ago. I think we all worry and
doubt. Do your research. Really sit with it. Everytime I read about a
complication or weight regain. I would think "is this crazy" What
if something goes wrong? What If i don't lose the weight. If you've done
the research and believe one of these tools will give you a longer,
healthier happier life. Than research you sergeon pick the right one for
you. And kiss what if goodbye.
Anngie
— Free2BMeForLife
July 29, 2008
I CANNOT BEGIN to express my overwhelming feelings of thankfulness to all
of you members who posted such kind, supportive words. This group is so
amazing and the more I am around WLS patients, the more I realize how
amazing most of you are! It takes time out of our busy routines to stop
and post to someone's inquiry or concern and I TRULY APPRECIATE the fact
that you all took the time to help me. IT REALLY HAS HELPED ME!! I feel
so much better now. I have a friend that used to say that once "the
itty bitty shitty committee" starts to meet in your head, it's time to
reach out to your support network and get grounded with the winners who
have been through what you are going through. When we are left with our
own thoughts long enough, it can lead to trouble sometimes especially when
we have been self-sabotaging our happiness for much of our lives. I THANK
EVERYONE again for your help, words of wisdom and for sharing your
experiences with me.
— matino
July 30, 2008
Anna, my mom had talked about having the surgery about five years ago but
decided against it because my stepdad was afraid she might have
complications. Yep - that was her sole reason for not pursuing it. Her
husband was worried that she *might* have complications. When I told her
that I was going to have the surgery, she did not want me to do it ... I
guess, too, because she was worried that I might have complications. I told
her, "I'd rather die because I tried than die because I didn't."
Kind of a morbid point of view, but it gets the point across! My mom died
this year, on February 10th - she went into congestive heart failure due to
progressive lymph edema (fluid retention in the limbs - when her legs
couldn't hold anymore fluid, the fluid began to gather around her heart)
and morbid obesity. She was only 51 years old. If she had gone thru with
the surgery, even if she had been one of the rare few to have
complications, I would probably still have her here with me today ... It
breaks my heart to know that her life was cut short because she let her
husband convince her that she *might* have complications. I completely
understand why you are nervous - this is a big deal and a huge,
life-altering decision you have made. But once it's over and you've
basically started your life all over again, once you start losing the
weight and your health starts to improve (I'm just speaking generally there
because I don't know your situation), you will see that you made the right
decision. Sure you will miss food! If anyone here tried to say they don't
miss food, I wouldn't believe them. The first time you go to a party with a
table full of food you can't touch, or attend a birthday celebration for
someone you work with and there's a huge cake ..... I won't lie - it's not
easy. But it is so, so worth it. We are all here to support you - don't be
afraid to lean on us! You are more than welcome to contact me directly at
any time if you need someone to talk to - either send me a message thru
this site or email me at: thecutestone at gmail dot com. *hugs*
— lauren_marie
July 30, 2008
I am terrified too. They better give me "I don't care medicine"
as soon as I get to the hospital, or I might run out of there screaming,
lol.
I am also thinking things like "life insurance, will, goodbye letters
to kids" I try to block that negative stuff out and think about
positive things like looking good and feeling good.
— sheila234
July 31, 2008
I would think it a bad sign if you weren't worried. It is major surgery
and does require lifelong lifestyle & eating habits to get the
benefits. I was terrified before surgery. 5 months out and the eating
restrictions are worse than I thought they would be. It's harder work than
I thought it would be. I miss diet coke so bad I could cry. And I'm so
glad I had the surgery - I'm healthier, feel better, have more energy,
feeling hopeful about my life, and I'm a better role model to my daughter.
Just do what your doc and nut say and you'll be amazed at how well you do
— Susan C.
August 1, 2008
You have received all very good answers and they are correct. We all
wonder whether we are right, and most of us end up not regreting the
surgery. I had surgery in august 2001. I lost 190 pounds, have kept most
of it off, having struggled with 30-40 extra pounds the past two years. I
will tell you that surgery does not fix the mind, the obsession to food and
sooner or later you will be capable of returning to od bad behaviours. The
stomach does get bigger and your body heals and if you havent learned a new
way of living the old hbits will return. Use the surgery to relearn how to
live a better way. Fully live and take care of your mind, body and spirit.
You wont regret the surgery if you do those things. And as all the others
have indicated to you...its normal to be anxious and to have some doubts.
ANd there are risks. Thats the nature of anything that is worthwhile.
Approaching my seventh year anniversary,
LanaD
— lanad
August 5, 2008
I feel the same way. I read a response where the person had a great outcome
and I'm all set. Then i read another post and the person had a bad
experience then I wonder if I lost my mind. I do know one thing I have a
friend who needs knee surgery and has been putting it off for the last 2
yrs because of the what if's she is in so much pain and everybody that
knows her has tried to convince her to do the surgery but all she does is
B****** and complain about the pain.
At first I didn't pursue it because I thought my insurance didn't cover it
but in Jan 08 the message came through that they do cover it. I didn't
trully decide to persue it until May 08 because that's when I got my
official diagnosis of Diabetes 2. I hope to be approved here in the next
couple of weeks and I look forward to not struggling so hard to lose the
weight. I know it will continue to be a struggle but because our stomach
will be smaller it won't be such a up hill battle.
— ShellyYC
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