Question:
My brother inlaw needs this surgery but is deathly afraid of not waking up from it.

My brother in-law is deathly afraid of surgery of any type his gull bladder is about to explode but he will not have surgery to remove it. He has had an organization offer to pay for wls for hm and his wife (my sister) but he is so afraid of surgery that he refuses to have and has done all he can to stop her sister from having it. Can this be done without general anasthesia? I don't know his weight or bmi but he wears a size 64 pants. I want to save them but I don't know how if they won't do anything to save themselves.    — MARK N. (posted on October 10, 2000)

October 11, 2000
I know it's hard for you Mark. But if your family members won't make this choice for themselves, then you cannot make it for them. If you have done your best to present all the facts, then that's all you can do. Even if they succumbed to pressure and had WLS, what are their chances of success afterwards? If they are not mentally ready for it, they will find the means to sabotage it and make it not work. We know that this just a tool. And the tool can be misused. Although I am still heavy (218 at last weigh-in), I have lost 80 pounds, and I feel great. There are so many people I look at now who I feel would tremendously benefit, but everyone has to come to this major decision in their own time. If someone had suggested this to me 1-2 years ago, I would told them (and none too politley) where to stuff it. I had to get out of the denial that my weight was adversely affecting my health, and then I had to have the courage to do something about it medically. You mentioned that your brother-in-law is deathly afraid of the surgery. Is this really the case or does he use this reason as an excuse? Dig a little deeper. Is he an insecure person? Does he feel that if his wife has WLS and he doesn't then she will lose interest in him and leave the relationship? Many spouses have this fear. Is he afraid of the changes (or perceived changes) that would come his way after the surgery? Give it time. Talk to him when the opportunity arises, but don't harp. Talk about the positive changes to his health that WLS would bring. Best of luck to you. They are lucky to have someone who cares about them!
   — Paula G.

October 11, 2000
This procedure can be done under epidural or spinal anesthesia.
   — Barbra F.