Question:
Does anyone else feel that if they'd have just followed the diet & exercise then ...
...they'd still have lost the weight? I'm really debating the issue in my own mind. I'm 7 mons post op....and if I don't diet strictly and exercise I don't seem to lose a pound. I'm still really having to work to get the weight off. Sometimes, I feel like someone just gave me a diet plan and some scars to deal with. Of course, I don't get hungry....but I never really over ate because I was hungry...it was from boredom and bad habits. What happened to the absorption factor? I didn't think we absorbed all the calories, etc. Oh well, I'm still glad I had the surgery...but it sure isn't what I thought it would be. — PaulaJ (posted on July 9, 2009)
July 9, 2009
Wasn't what I thought either. Still regret it almost everyday. I miss the
old me, fatter or not.
— hansonae
July 9, 2009
I'm only a few months post op, but I don't regret this. I had too much
pain and I couldn't lose weight at all. I've lost 30 lbs. I'm glad that
food has been put into it's proper perspective. It is less important than
it used to be. It's not the comfort it used to be, but that's okay, because
using it the way I did, would have eventually killed me. My mother is
diabetic and 3 grandparents. I feel that I have done something proactive
for my health. It just takes time to work it out. I'm grateful today.
— Teresa W.
July 9, 2009
I'm six years post-op, and do not regret having this surgery. I did diet
and I could not exercize pre-op because of a severe lower back condition
that prevented me from even walking for more than five minutes, and I could
not lose weight.
I spent a year pre-op researching this surgery and I went into this being
completely honest with myself, and having reasonable expectations. I knew
I would not be one of those post-ops who got down to a size 2. But that
was not why I had the surgery. I did not do this to be young and svelte
again. I did this to get my life back, put food in its proper place in my
life, and to have enough weight loss to not be in constant, often
excruciating lower back pain.
I learned what it meant to have an appetite, what it meant to be hungry,
and how to eat normally. Yes, now I have to "watch" what I eat
just like any normal person does. This surgery is not a license to eat
whatever you want. You still have to adjust your lifestyle. You have to
figure out why you are bored and then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT that doesn't
involve food.
I knew I was a boredom and emotional eater and I knew that I had to find
things to do with my hands that did not involve reaching for food. So
before I even had the surgery, I took up crocheting. After I had the
surgery, I learned how to make soap from scratch and have developed a
passion for things that have absolutely nothing to do with food. That
feeds me in a way that food never fed my boredom. It feeds my soul and
leaves me feeling proud of myself and what I am capable of. Food is no
longer the center of my life. My passions are . . . my new friends are . .
. my family is . . . God is. How could I regret that? But I had to make
that shift within myself.
The surgery will not change your personality or your brain. You will still
be you. Your habits, thoughts, opinions, attitudes . . . they will remain
the same. What do you want to do about them? That's the question normal
people ask. They don't make excuses, they don't eat when they should
change something that they don't like about themselves. They don't turn to
food for friendship, love, or relief of bad feelings, at least not the way
I did.
Am I at my "ideal" weight? No. Do I feel better physically than
I ever felt before surgery? Everyday. You have to focus on your blessings
and what you have gained. You have to change your view of your
responsibility for what happens in your life. You have to be proactive and
think ahead. You have to be honest about yourself with yourself. You have
to let go of excuses, unrealistic expectations, and what others think of
and/or want for you. YOU have to take your life back. Surgery will open
the door, but YOU still have to walk through that door and do things
differently. This is not a miracle cure, even though I feel like I
received a miracle.
My best advice, whether your are pre-op or post-op, is to be honest with
yourself and don't have this surgery or expect this surgery to make you
thin. That is the worst motivation you can have, in my opinion. Losing
weight should be secondary to using this tool to learn about yourself. Who
am I? What do I want out of my life? Who do I want to be? If you don't
like yourself, become the person you want to be inside. Because if you
lose all your weight and still are the same exact person who began this
journey, you will be miserable and you will gain the weight back. You must
make significant changes in the way you think, the way you behave and the
way you relate to food, life and yourself. This surgery is but one tool in
your toolbox. It is only as powerful as you let it be.
— rebalspirit
July 9, 2009
I'm not saying that I regret it, in the least. It has spurred me into
making some definite and positive changes in my life. It gave me that
kickstart that helped me beat the feeling of being overwhelmed by the
amount of weight I had to lose. I would do it again, in a heartbeat. I
just can't help but notice how differently this surgery affects different
people. For some, the weight seems to melt off seemingly effortlessly.
Yet for me, I'm still having to work just as hard as I ever have to get the
pounds off. I didn't expect a miracle cure and I do value my surgery as a
"tool" only. I just really wonder at the differences in how it
affects each individual person who has had it.
— PaulaJ
July 9, 2009
I have some regrets, put at least there is a plus side. No sense dwelling
on them. Can't change anything now. I would have regrets if I didn't do the
surgery, but at least now, I have regrets wearing a size 10. LOL
— smparker2
July 9, 2009
The only regret I have is that I didn't have surgery sooner! I've lost 164
lbs, I can walk, I'm even questioning if I should renew my handicap license
plate. I am at the point now where I have to work to lose weight, but I
will get to goal pound by pound! May God Bless You Abundantly, Kathie
— KathieV
July 9, 2009
OK the first thing is your not eating. Like a car if you don't put gas in
it it won't run. Your metabolism won't work either unless you eat. Try
everything. Find what you can eat. The Doctor told me that the only way
this surgery works is if you eat. Don't do protein shakes they eventually
will make you gain all your weight back. They are made for Body Builders to
Bulk up not for people trying to lose weight. Get your protein from
food..eggs, cheese, milk, cottage cheese,Peanut butter, etc. Plateus are a
good thing. If you measure yourself you will see the inches are going. Your
body needs time to catch up.I am 5 years out, I would do this all over
again. It saved my life. I had cancer and the Doctors told me it didn't
spread because I have ZER0 fat. I eat whatever I want. But as soon as you
feel full stop. I eat all day. Small meals. I haven;t gained an oz. Don't
worry you can't fail, this is not a diet its a way of life. But eat, you
have to eat. Drink lots of water or tea and exercise at least 3x's a week.
Good Luck to you.
— Kimberly Ten Kate
July 9, 2009
I had rny 1 year ago and don't regret anything except not having it sooner.
I got to goal pretty fast I guess...9.5-10 months, but it felt slow and
people were going to support group who had surgery after me and were losing
more, but they had more to lose too. I had to lose 110 lbs, I have since
lost 120 lbs...having a stop losing issue, but I am working on
it....anyways, I was losing slow in the beginning and the nut told me I had
to eat more. It didn't make sense, but it worked out for me. I had been
eating 1 oz per meal and at 3 motnhs she told me to go to 2 and wow...it
started coming off. I think sometimes we are afraid to eat more..afraid it
won't work for us, but in reality we need to eat to get our bodies out of
starvation mode. If you follow the rules, you will do well. Best of luck !
hugs, Kim
— gpcmist
July 10, 2009
To Robin L., kudos girl. Your message is all that and (not necessarily) a
bag of chips! Your message is very inspiring! I aim to print this one out
and place it somewhere that I can read it regularly. You are at ease with
yourself and that has a lot to do with this journey! Thanks for posting.
— Jean N.
July 10, 2009
Looks like you really hit a nerve with your question. There are things I
miss like eating out without people wondering if the food is ok. When you
only eat a little they are worried there is a problem.
People always comment on how little I eat and it is distrubing so I don't
eat out as often.
I find heavy people, who did not know me before surgery, give my a look if
I comment on diets or exercize, like I don't know where they are coming
from. It is weird to feel like an outsider in these conversations.
I find it is a big social adjustment. But I am so happy I did it. My life
is under control and moving forward. None of these things or the hundreds
of other little things that change matter now. I love the new me. And I
have found my attitude and way of reacting to people have changed. I am not
the same as I was.
— trible
July 10, 2009
Hi - I am post-op 11 months. I will never be sorry I had the by-pass
surgery. Have I ever wondered if I could have done it on my own? Yes!
Did I already have every chance to do it myself? Yes! And I didn't. Do I
think I made a mistake? No! The consequences will always keep me in line.
Do I know that I could regain the weight? Yes! But I won't let that
happen because I know I don't want to ever feel the way I did. I still
have 23 lbs to lose to get to my goal weight which is not what the doctor
wants - he wants me to have lost to my goal weight by 1 year. I won't
quite make it but my age and activity is causing my last pounds to come off
slower than what a younger and more active person could accomplish.
However, my health is so much better and I feel great and I
"will" get to my goal. I am determined. Good luck to you.
Kathy S
— KathyStarling
July 10, 2009
I didn't mean to "hit a nerve" with my question. LOL But
opening a debate and some exploration on the topic is fine with me. My
intention was not to slam the weight loss surgery. I'm still glad I had it
done. I just wonder, sometimes. I once lost 106 pounds on my own doing
the same things that I am doing now. The only bad thing was that I lost my
ability to walk and exercise for an extended period of time and put it all
back on. Now, I have knee replacements and other health problems caused by
lupus. It would've been impossible in the beginning of my weight loss
journey to have done what I did before to get the results I achieved
before. So, with that being said...the surgery has been a huge blessing to
me. My mind just kinda wonders, sometimes...and I think it's worthwhile to
question or debate our options and decisions.
— PaulaJ
July 10, 2009
I guess I shouldn't even be in this conversation since I have not had
surgery yet but...I have been dieting and exercising since the age of 9 so
I know I can lose weight. I also know that I love how exercising made me
feel.I need this tool to help me stay feeling good. By the way I did
resistance training and running.
— lrgsgt-o9
July 10, 2009
Paula, I was wondering the same thing. I do not think we would have the
same results because we would have to drink or eat more of the diet to feel
satisfied. I Know with the lap band that is the bennifit feeling full much
much quicker and that is why it is a helpper and not an answer.
— gabbyabby
July 10, 2009
I understand your concern. I tell everyone I know the surgery is not a
miracle cure, I'm back to where I was before the surgery, counting calories
and exercising. I am 15 months post surgery gained 8lbs over the last 8
months and if I don't watch what I eat I gain weight. Now I have started
water walking and trying to keep my calories to under 1400 a day, much
better at 1200. I also got a body bugg the thing they wear on American
Greatest Losers, and that has been invaluable. It gave me accountability
on the exercise exserted each day and since you have to record your
calories each day you either stay the same, lose, or gain weight. Over
time you can see a trend. For ex last week my weight was up 3 lbs,
obviously water weight, this week I'n down 6lbs. Go figure. Anyway, I feel
your pain it's calories in vs calories out. Most of us are bad at
estimating really what we eat and a extra 200 calories can keep up in a
balance even if we are eating healthy. I just got diagnosed with gall
bladder disease and I feel another loss. I was eating a low fat diet, now
I'm eating a no fat diet until I can have the surgery which will be in
about 6wks. What i could eat one day I can't eat today, and it's
frustruating since I already was eating low fat. Take care and don't give
up, and the absorbtion thing, I don't know neither.
— Faune W.
July 10, 2009
I'm 2 months post op and have had thoughts of regret a few times but then I
see the pounds melting off and I'm extremely happy I had the surgery.
Before surgery I did "diet" strictly and exercised and ALWAYS
stopped exercising and "dieting" and gained it back! That is one
of the ideas that has to be changed, it's not a diet, it's a lifestyle
change. It's changing old, bad habits into new, good habits and living a
healthier lifestyle. These things are the hardest to change and I'm
working on them every single day and believe it or not, it's beginning to
get easier.
— Char-Ree C.
July 10, 2009
No way! I was a champion dieter, but no matter what I did, the wt always
came back. The wt has been gone 14 of the last 15 yrs. When I fall into
the sugar bowl, I gain a few lbs. The difference is NOW when I straighten
up and fly right, the wt comes back off. Which surgery did you have and
what is your eating plan like?
— vitalady
July 11, 2009
Absolutely NOT. The fact is, and statistics have proven that the
overwhelming majority of people who lose weight gain it back and then some
within 2 years. I would never have been able to do this with the enormous
appetite and stomach capacity I used to have. Of course I still have my
work cut out for me and have to make an effort to excercise and eat right,
but NOW IT IS DOABLE AND THEN IT WASN'T!!! It is so easy to forget how
hard it was.
— zimra
July 13, 2009
Well there are a great deal of great answers, suggestions and advice on
this subject. This venting is good because it allows you to see different
perspectives. I have not had the surgery yet and have been postponed by my
doctor because of much of what RobinL said. My doctor felt I did not have
a full grasp or understanding of the change in eating habits that I needed
to make. He wants me to learn that now so I do not have difficulties down
the line. He continually reminds me that the WLS is not a miracle cure and
because of that he is adamant that his patients now get a full
understanding on eating behaviors. Initially YES I was upset, but pretty
quickly I realized that I had to alter my way of thinking in terms of my
expectations for this surgery. No matter how many times I said I was doing
this for me to get healthier, still in the back of my mind I kept analyzing
everyone's weight loss and placing probable scenarios for myself.
These discussions enable me to see why its important to be on the right
mind set prior to entering this journey because if I didn't get this
shifting of mindset, I would very likely fail and I do not want that. I
have to say that I am quite blessed to have such an insightful doctor and
am quite appreciative for him taking the time to educate me and give the
pep talk he did because now more than ever I am determined to change this
mentality of food that has for so long crippled me.
Paula, they say patience is a virtue and in throughout this process I think
we all need big doses of that. Someone in the thread mentioned to get your
protein from food and thats why my doctor emphasizes on too. He does not
advocate those shakes at all and in fact steers you away from them. Keep
working it sweetie, YOU CAN DO IT. Its hard not to stress over others
losing more in the same amount of time, I can only imagine. BUT that is
not healthy for you hun. This site does not quite help in that respect
either and I can empathize with you because I too find myself comparing
loses of people and wondering what each did differently. In the long run,
no matter how much we might hate reading or hearing it, it is true: we are
all made differently and will thus lose differently. The great thing about
it all is that as long as you keep doing what you gotta do, YOU WILL LOSE.
Keep your faith!!!
— Marangelli O.
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