Question:
am i making the right decision??

hi everyone..i am feeling nervous and anxious so i thought i might find someone on here who understands what i am feeling. i am scheduled for surgery oct 12th. i go next week for preadmission testing at the hospital. it has been a long journey or last six months i should say. i am excited and happy but at the same time i am scared to death and nervous. it doesnt make it any easier that my family in particular my mother is against this. she has come around to except it but she keeps saying i dont need it and she doesnt want me to die. which makes it a lot worse. i have my mind made up and it is coming soon. i know that my being over weight is mostly an emotional thing. i love food and i eat when i am happy, when i am sad, i use food for everything not just nourishment. this is all just so scary to me and i dont want to fail. any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.    — carissamarieg (posted on September 6, 2009)


September 6, 2009
Hi Carissa, I am waiting to be approved.If you read down on the Q&A there is an answer to your question.I think it will help you alot.I know it did for me.
   — ULA_LONG

September 6, 2009
Someone in a bariatric-book said, "You can do anything, being afraid, that you can do unafraid". It is normal for people going into ANY kind of surgery to be afraid....it's the unknown...you've never been here before...what if I die...etc, etc. But remember, if you HAD to have gall bladder surgery, a hysterectomy, an open heart bypass surgery, etc. YOU WOULD GO THROUGH With it, scared or not, because U know it would be the right thing to do! This is no different. You are completing a process that you began; none of us likes to leave "loose ends"; you would probably be more disappointed (if you don't) than you are now scared. You aren't doing it for mom; You are doing it for YOUR HEALTH..and that's the right reason. Look at it as a new lease on life? Nothing is free of emotional investment, not even this surgery, but it's dividends are terrific. Just look at the hundreds of before/after pics. Just read all the testimonials. WLS patients are eternally grateful for the opportunity to have a new lease on a (longer) life! Remember, when God has opened a door for you, just walk right on thru. You will never be sorry.
   — Marilyn Schurman

September 6, 2009
Hi Carissa I know exactly how you feel and what you're going threw. The only thing about my story is I never told my mother exactly what type of surgery I am having in fear of rejection. But I do have support from my 5 sisters and other family members. They kinda understanding how I feel. My surgery is scheduled for Sept.14 at 12 noon. I have decided to finally put my health first before anyone elses.
   — Quandabadgirls

September 6, 2009
I know how you feelI am scheduled oct fifth pre admission testing this week I have three kids and a husband He is not sure of this I am scared too We can get through this it is to better our health I know we can
   — lulu37

September 6, 2009
I had surgery a month ago. It was the best decision I've ever made. I was scared, just like you, in the last few weeks leading up to the surgery, and when it felt overwhelming, I asked myself what the alternative would be. . . to continue to be miserable and fail at diet after diet? Only a month has passed, and I've lost about 25 pounds, and I've never felt better. Ultimately, of course, you have to decide what's right for you, but I'd be concerned if you WEREN'T scared!
   — agwc

September 7, 2009
You sound a lot like me. My surgery is scheduled for Tuesday, September 15.I'm excited but nervous. We're doing this so we could have a great life. My mother doesn't know about this yet. She lives 3 hours away. I just don't want to hear some of the remarks that she comes out with. She'll find out soon enough.
   — Kathleen W.

September 7, 2009
I felt the same way that you do prior to my surgery. I had scheduled my consult 3 different times, then cancelled, then i finally decided that this was what i wanted to do. I had surgery feb. 26, 2009 and to date I have lost 97 lbs. I would recommend this to anyone that has been strugging with obesity like we have. I have had great support from family and friends. This has to be your decison. I won't lie to you and say its easy, because its not at all. it takes a long time to figure it all out, but one day you will get it. I have so much energy now, I exercise 5 days a week, ride a bike and walk, all things i could not do before. You will go thru a mourning for food, but it will go away. Good luck to you and if i can help at all, please dont hesitate to email me.
   — dcspence

September 7, 2009
I had my nervous and excited thoughts as well...but now, after 15 months, I can say that it has been the best decision of my life and i would have done it sooner had I known about it! Good luck to you! hugs, Kim
   — gpcmist

September 7, 2009
I agree with everything everyone has said - but a couple of suggestions. First, did you research to find out how many of these surgeries your surgeon has done and how many had complications? Did you check with the American Medical Association to see if your doctor had an malpractice suits against him/her? It is always good to check these things and it may help put your mom's mind to rest a little. Another thought - how about taking mom with you to see the surgeon and let her ask some questions? You know your relationship with your mom better than we do, so you know if this would be a good thing or not, but I know my husband was concerned as well and I included him in the process - he had a chance to meet the surgeon, have questions answered, talk to other patients of this surgeon at the support group (I attended the support group for two months prior to surgery just to ask questions and listen to people's stories). Just a couple suggestions. But sometimes you know that none of this will help and you have to just go ahead and do what you know in your heart is the right thing for you. It is your life - your health - and you need to take care of yourself!
   — Wendy M.

September 7, 2009
What made me fianally decide to have surgery was when I was checking information on death rates of people that had surgery. What I found out was that the death rate of people that stayed overweight instead of having surgery was much much higher than those that had surgery. In fact those that had surgery lived longer and their quality of life improved greatly. I have had several surgeries in the past, gall bladder, hysterectomy, 2 c-sections all necessary. I have chosen to look at my VSG surgery as just as necessary as those I have had in the past to solve a medical problem, my obesity. I am 5 months out and have lost 75 lbs. I am off my sleep apnea machine, I feel so much better, have more energy, able to do so many more things. I have less pain and I don't think about food nearly as much as I used to. I know this was absolutely the right decision for me and would do it again. I truly hope you get peace on your decision and that your mom can understand that this is much healthier for you and can help you live longer and better.
   — Lisa von Wallmenich

September 7, 2009
THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO HAS RESPONDED TO ME...YOUR KIND WORDS HAVE HELPED..GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!
   — carissamarieg

September 7, 2009
What you are feeling is very normal. Only you can decide what is best for you. Not all of my family agreed with my surgery. That is okay. I made up my mind to change my lifestyle and my life. I came to the conclusion that they could be happy for me or continue to disagree. I have lost about 90 pounds. My daughter (adult) who did not agree with my decision still has not even acknowledged my weight loss. In my opinion that is her loss. She prefers sugar and junk food to health. That is her decision and I don't nag, but the surgery was mine and I couldn't be more happy with my decision. I am now having a great time with my grandchildren and off all but one medication (I was on 15) and really have never felt better. Please don't let others keep you from making decisions that are healthy for you. You will have to work with this new tool. It won't always be easy, but if you perservere, you will be healthier and happier.
   — GingerKS

September 7, 2009
hi craissa i am sandy i had the lap band done january 5th 2009 and came through it with no problem my mom was happy with my wanting to have the surgery and i lost 50 lbs before surgery and since january i lost 75 lbs do you have a computer if so you can look up information on the surgery to help put your mom at ease but tell her that the doctors and surgerns take a lot of care to make sure that you be ok during surgery i was scard too but at the same time very happy i found someone that would help me lose the weight and i feel better then i have in a long time . good luck and donit worry you are making the right move take care sandy
   — sandy fairweather

September 8, 2009
Yes, Yes, Yes!!! You are making the right decision ! I am 5 years post op, read my Bldg. This surgery saved my life not once but twice!! I have never regretted it. I love being a size 4 after 17 years of a size 22. Go For It...
   — Kimberly Ten Kate




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