Question:
Pre-op PANIC! Need some HONEST Advice! Please.

I am schedule for a rny in 12 days. This is my second day of protein shakes. I have been preparing for this for months. I am 47 years old and have hit an all time high of 420 lbs. I have lost literally hundreds of pounds several times in my life. I made the decision to give up the war, but now I am questioning myself. Is it normal to second guess your decision? Do any of you regret your surgeries? I welcome and need your input please. I am scheduled for preop tommorow. My head is saying go, my heart is saying RUN!    — shirliek (posted on January 28, 2009)


January 28, 2009
Everyone getts scared and wonders if they are making the right choice. I was a nervious wreck before surgery. it was the best thing I ever did. It is hard to explain but even with the problems ( an ulcer)I would do it again in a heart beat. It is so worth it.
   — trible

January 28, 2009
I do not regret my surgery. I am 3 months out and have lost 70 pounds. I am so happy I did it. It is the best tool for me. I too lost hundreds of pounds over the years, only to gain them back. Now, I am eating healthier, feel better, and am absolutely thrilled that I did this. It took me 2 years to make the decision and I do not regret it at all. It was the right thing for me. I think it is perfectly normal to second guess yourself on any major decision. Good Luck. I look forward to seeing you on the other side....The Losers Bench!!!!
   — tchrlisa

January 28, 2009
I think that you answered our own question as to whether you should go through with this surgery or Run. I heard you say that you lost hundreds of lbs but you also gained them back. The weight loss surgery is a tool to help you lose and hopefully never gain it back. I am sure your Dr. has told you that at 420,you are a candidate for a stroke, heart attack and other life threatening medical problems. You should focus on all of the things you will finally be able to do once you get healthy. I want to wish you all the best and take a deep breath because this surgery could be the 1st day of the rest of your life. For me food was my best friend and it was hard to give up this loving friend. I had to look at this friend and what it was doing to me and my health. Good luck and be excited that you chose to live a healthy life. Susan
   — susangielda06

January 28, 2009
Being nervous is normal. I have no regrets, NOT ONE. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Best of luck. Keep us posted.
   — bariatricdivalatina

January 28, 2009
Hi Karen, Its normal to have doubts, but it is worth it. I had my rny on 11/21/08 and have been doing very well, Just remember Protein, Protein, Protein, chew, chew, chew. and water. Just remember this is a new life change, new way of eating. but it doesn't stop you from life, its a TOOL that helps you reach your weight loss goals. Best of luck, and will be waiting hear how everything went with your surgery
   — kmdladyluck

January 28, 2009
What your heart should be saying is run to the surgery. I am almost two years out of lap. rny and it was the best decision I ever made. I thank god everyday for my surgery. It is normal to feel the way you do. I cant wait to hear from you in six months. Good Luck Marian
   — 0204

January 28, 2009
I think many if not all of us have tried and succeeded at losing weight on our own...We KNOW we can do it...but keeping it off is the problem that we all failed at. Having the surgery gives you that extra tool to help you keep it off. It is the MOST rewarding thing I have ever done that is not natural! I am 5 years post op and have had some vitamin problems which I learned to prevent by keeping up with labs, not ignoring symptoms, taking my vitamins regularly, eating healthy...The weight loss was so fast and fairly easy...A year was over in no time. After that you have a healthy thin body and taking care of your health is what you do long term... That and make certain you watch your weight and don't let old habit back as a regular visitor!...Stick to the new life style and you will be successful and healthy and thin for a life long time! My quality of life is so much better now...I have had the best years of my adult life after surgery. I finally feel like my inside matches my outside! I could not be this person that I have come to appreciate , love and respect, without my RNY...Of that I am certain...
   — .Anita R.

January 28, 2009
Karen, I suspect that if you're that heavy now you may have Diabetes? This is the main reason why I am having RNY, to get rid of the Diabetes & then the weight. I too have second guessed myself. Change is a difficult thing to absorb but think about it this way. Picture a scale in your mind, your weight on one side & the RNY in the other & the new lifestyle changes that you will need to make. Which one is the lesser of the two evils? There is your answer. I have prayed & ask God for directtion and feel total peace about this last opportunity to "get out of jail card & stay out". I pray you make the healthy decision. Be well, Ruth
   — Ruth M.

January 28, 2009
yes we all get scare i had my rny done 3-11 08 my daughter just had her rny done 11-7-08 hubby is getting rny 3-2-09 it is the best thing we have done in our life
   — oldpepsilady

January 28, 2009
I had my surgery(open rny) on 1/29/08, Have lost 175#. Only complication was infection of incision after about 1 week. But,this can happen with any surgery. Would I do it again? without a second thought. Best thing I ever did. Being nervous is normal. U will do great.
   — goochlanddaddy

January 28, 2009
Like you, I have been able to lose weight without the surgery, but have always gained it back. You can only stay hungry for so long. I have lost 110 pounds since March 2 with the VSG. This has been the EASIEST way to lose weight I have EVER TRIED! I was frightened before the surgery, too. I figured that I was going to DIE one way or the other, so what did I have to lose? I have NO REGRETS! I am GLAD that I went through with this. I am NO LONGER a diabetic. I can WALK again. I was unable to walk for any distance BEFORE the surgery, since I would tire easily. NOW, I can walk for MILES! I have not yet met my goal, but I hope to reach it by next summer. It has been EASY so far, but my weight loss has slowed considerably since I had the surgery, and now I must WORK at it. At least NOW, I am ABLE to do so. Before, I had given up. My stomach was THREE TIMES as large as it should have been. I asked my surgeon how big it was when he removed it (that is part of the procedure for the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy). I also asked him how big it SHOULD have been. He told me and showed me a comparison using sheets of paper. My stomach was as big as a FULL SHEET of printer paper when it was removed. That was what the doctor pulled OUT. What I should have had was about the size of my FIST and should have held at MOST about 12 to 16 ounces of food at one time. What I HAD held at least THREE TIMES that. Most of that stomach contained cells that produced the hormone ghrelin. THIS is one of the MAIN hormones responsible for making a person FEEL hungry! As I had stated BEFORE, you can only STAY hungry for so long! By removing that part of my stomach, the surgeon REMOVED most of my feelings of HUNGER! WHAT a BLESSING! I am no longer a SLAVE to my stomach! The Gastric Bypass helps to do something similar by disrupting the PATH that ghrelin takes from the cells that PRODUCE it to the receptor cells at the BOTTOM of the stomach. When the pouch is created at the top, the cells that produce ghrelin are isolated for the receptor cells, and the hunger signal is not triggered. The Duodenal Switch also has a similar effect as the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy since both surgeries use the "Sleeve" as part of the surgery to restrict the consumption of food, and thus help the patient lose weight. The Lap-Band and most other surgical weight loss options do NOT offer this benefit. They achieve their results using DIFFERENT means. I think that the disruption of the ghrelin hormone is probably one of the biggest reasons that the Gastric Bypass, the Duodenal Switch, and the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy are the three most effective methods currently known today for surgical weight loss. I hope this helps. Hugh
   — hubarlow

January 28, 2009
oh honey, you are SO normal. I am 25 days post-op open rny and I was terrified. I mean, I wanted to make the change, because I am to young not to. I weighed 408 when I started my journey on Dec 7th. I had to do a 4 week protein shake diet prior to surgery and I thought it would kill me. I thought about backing out several times, but knew that if i didnt have the surgery, I would surely die. As a matter of fact, when they were prepping me for surgery, I was so scared that I almost walked out of the room. They had to give me some liquid "courage"(valuim) to calm my nerves. After that it was smooth sailing. I didnt wake up in pain, just sore. I chose to have the pcp morphine pump, and I was very pleased. Now, i will be honest, you will have some pain, but it wont be like you think. Its mainly soreness. And when they say the more you walk the better, they are telling the truth. I think you will do great, and 4 weeks from now, you will be so happy you did it. I currently weight 358 and wouldnt change it for anything. Sorry to take so much of your time, but you will do great. Trust God, and he will bring you safely throught it.
   — jackie L.

January 28, 2009
I had my surgery dec 11/08 i was terrified too. and to be honest i wish i had never done it. i had many complications and begged for them to reverse it. I wish i had listen to my heart instead of my head and not done it. My head my all the reasons to do it but my heart said dont, run.
   — pinky_711

January 28, 2009
This is the best thing I ever did! I had RNY in August and have never looked back. I second guessed my self a few days before surgery but went ahead with it. It's been great. 82 pounds off since August. You hang in there. Just think where you will be next year at this time.
   — katiecakes

January 28, 2009
I would say that is totally normal. I ended up being dropped off at the hospital - I had to go three hours out of town and didn't know anyone who could come and stay - so I ended up PANICKING, and had no one there to calm me down. I didn't back out. I knew I was going to go through with it, but I was so scared. It's not easy. I've had people tell me how lucky I am that I get this surgery, because they've struggled with the same 20, 40, 50 lbs or whatever for years, and this is such a "quick fix"... Ugh. If only. So, as long as you're realistic, and I would imagine you are, given you've been preparing for months, you should be fine. You can do it. I can't tell you how terrified I was right before the surgery. I just started crying and could barely speak for fear of REALLY losing it. The nurse told me a few times that it wasn't too late, I didn't HAVE to do it, no one would be mad, etc. But I'm glad I did it...I'm only two weeks out and I'm already so much better than I was before surgery, diabetes-wise, and I've lost about 25 lbs. I suppose what you really need to consider is why you're scared. If it's surgery in general that scares you, I'm with you. If it's that you don't know if you can stick with the post-op diet and exercise requirements, then I'd consider postponing it to be sure you can commit to that. It sounds to me like typical pre-surgery jitters. Good luck to you. I'll be thinking good thoughts for you!! And please remember, this is all about you. If you DO need to postpone or cancel your surgery, don't worry about doctors or friends or family and what they'll think. However, I'd bet you can and will go through with it, and you'll be just fine. You have my sincere best wishes.
   — rachieo

January 28, 2009
Absolutely you are going to get nervous and wonder if you are going to have complications, whether you are even going to survive the operation! Don't worry! You are doing a wonderful thing for yourself, and you have NOT lost the war nor have you given up! You have gotten very smart! Good Luck!
   — cydthekid50

January 28, 2009
You need to run right down to your pre-op appointment and make it the new beginning that you are looking for!!! I will admit that, for me, the first 6 weeks after surgery, I regretted having it... BUT, not for a moment since my recovery time and getting off of the liquids and soft diet. I eat what I want (just in the now correct portions) and have lost 93 pounds in 6 months. NO, don't regret your decision!
   — pattschiele

January 28, 2009
Hi Karen! It's normal to be frightened and doubtful. I had Lap RNY 12/9/2008 and felt the same way right before. I wanted to run and hide, but I am glad I didn't. I was 398 prior to surgery and have lost 65 lbs with no complications from the surgery at all. I have more enery than I thought I would ever have again. I am 44, so we are in pretty similiar situations. This site helped me tremendously and so did my local support group. I don't regret having surgery one bit. I been losing weight, getting re-aquainted with my feet and ankles, and chasing my 3 year old around the house....life is good! I wish you the very best of luck! Drop me a note and keep me posted! LisaRae
   — Fircrkr64

January 28, 2009
I echo everyone else's answer by saying that it's very normal to second guess yourself right before surgery. I wondered if it was the right thing in the last few days leading up to the surgery. I couldn't believe I was actually going to do such a major and permanent change to my body. It was as if I hadn't even thought about what I was doing, even though I had gone through the program and thought about it a great deal. I figured however that I had three choices - 1)lose weight the traditional way. Well, how many years of morbid obesity was it going to take for me to admit that wasn't going to happen? or 2) die young (not a preferable option!) or 3) have the surgery. So I had the surgery. And I always say that it is not the easy way out, it's a different way out. I had RNY in mid-September. I lost 25 lbs. before that and 48 since the surgery. I NEVER could have lost 73 lbs otherwise! I feel like a different person. I'm a little more than half way toward my goal. I am VERY GLAD I had the surgery. I feel like a different person inside and out. By the way, my second guessing disappeared almost immediately after the surgery which I imagine is also common. Best of luck to you. I hope everything goes very smoothly. And welcome to the loser's bench!
   — Andrea F.

January 29, 2009
I was feeling exactly that way right up until the day of surgery. Run or stay? I stayed and I feel better than I have in years. My surgery was in Dec 08 and have lost 43 pounds and am off all medications. Hang in there, it is normal to be scared of the unknown, but you will do great. Cathy
   — brindledanes

January 29, 2009
Hi fellow OH member, Please don't look at this decision like "you have given up on the on the war". In reality, the battle has just begun. You actually made the decision to go to war. This battle that we fight, we will always have second thoughts. However, we have to remain steadfast and faithful that we doing this for our best interest and for the best interest of our loved ones. You are completely normal and don't second guess yourself. To be honest, I am working on my mind and I am 6mos postop. My mind play games all the time. Its my mind that tells me to eat the wrong things. So, pleas don't believe that war is over because you chose WLS. No, its just beginning. Good Luck and you are very brave! Lakia
   — lakia1908

January 29, 2009
My lap rny was July 30, 2008 and I do not regret having given myself another chance at life. I spent 2-1/2 days in the hospital and then another 9 at home and then was back at work and feeling well. For the week I spent at home after surgery I was inundated with pizza commercials and had begun to think "what did you just do to yourself" but that only lasted a few days and from then on it's been clear sailing. You said yourself you've lost and regained hundreds of pounds, as we all have, but now you have a chance to get your life back. Prior to my surgery I was out of breath just walking in from my car, my feet and ankles were always swollen, I felt ugly, I knew if I got down on the floor I wouldn't be able to get up. All these things have changed. This is a tool that will allow you to feel better, be healthier, and look amazing. I can promise you that you will not regret what you are about to do. Currently, at your weight you at a huge risk for heart disease, stroke, diabetes and so many other things. You are making a choice to get better and yes, it would be wonderful if you could do this on your own and keep the weight off but you can't, I couldn't and everyone who has had this surgery was the same. Good luck and in 12 days you will become a Loser just like the rest of us!
   — dnefews

January 29, 2009
I was scared to DEATH the day of surgery. I was in the little room waiting with my IV and I turned to my husband and asked if we could leave. He said if you want to leave now is the time to do it but you will regret it. Then the nurse walked in put some "calming" medicine in my IV and all was well. They rolled me back to the OR and I was out. Woke up 8 hours later (once all the medicine wore off) and I was SOOOOOOOOO excited I cried. I do not regret this decision. Surgery 7/29/08 down 120 lbs! This is the scariest time because a lot is running through your head and you have nothing to comfort you but liquid. It gets better and you will do AWESOME! Best wishes to you!
   — bridgadean

January 29, 2009
Being anxious and having second thoughts is normal. Remember, that to qualify for this surgery, the risk to your life to stay as you are is greater than to have the surgery. There's an important reason you're having this, probably many important reasons. Good Luck!!
   — Shirley D.

January 29, 2009
Hello -- i have surgery coming up on the 5th of Feb. and have no hesitation at all. Why ? When there is diabetes and high blood pressure and having this procedure can turn all this around then can only say - i'm ready and the weight loss is only icing on the cake... GK
   — GangaK

January 30, 2009
Best thing ever I have ever done for ME. Keep that in mind you are the key factor. So go do it for you.
   — Scott Ambrose




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