Question:
I Have 2 Small Children Should I Have surgery Now Or Wait?
I have a 15 month old & a 5 year old everyone is telling me not to do it now because it will be to hard on my children.Does anyone have advice for me? — melisa240 (posted on December 16, 2005)
December 15, 2005
I also have 2 children and am about to take the "leap" to the
loser side. My son is just about 4 months old and I have a 4 1/2yr old
daughter. But the way I see it is, i'm doing this for me, and i'm doing
this for them. I need to be healthy, I want to see my grandkids some day!
— [Deactivated Member]
December 16, 2005
When I had surgery 4 years ago my children were almost 2 & 5. (I was
actually in the hospital for my son's 2nd b-day.) The oldest was great,
she was concerned with my well being and was most helpful with everything.
The little one really had no clue what was going on but took everything in
stride. Honestly, 3 months later neither one remembered the incident. I
do remember showing the kids a 'fat' pic a couple years after the surgery
and neither one recognized their own mother in the picture. LOL Anyhow,
barring any major complications it shouldn't be hard on your kids at all.
Children are very resiliant. Rebecca
— RebeccaP
December 16, 2005
I say take the leap. If you are not breast feeding it shouldn't be a
problem. I had an open RNY last September and was in the Hospital for 1
solid week (hospital's protocol) and at the time had a 1 year old, 2 year
old and a 9 year old. It was harder for me than them. I don't regret the
decision or the timing of my journey. I can actually RUN with my children
and that is a feeling that makes it all worth it. Life is all about
Challenges, risks, and faith. You do what YOU feel is right and ignore
everyone else. When it comes down to it.... IT'S YOUR LIFE and you DO HAVE
THE RIGHT TO BE HAPPY.... and thin!!!
Good Luck and GOD bless.
Sonja Lima
San Diego, CA open RNY 9/9/04 334/282/ 220/ 164 ~ goal 150
— Son-Son
December 16, 2005
I'm a young grandma, my Lola was born Nov 27, 2004, I had surgery Jan 31,
2005, and still took care of Lola just like before. I had to help a lot
because her mother is so young, and Lola ended up getting RSV, and other
problems. Now every one is different and heals different, but I dont think
if your an average person it will take too much time or attention away from
the kids while you heal, now if your worried about emotional tolls, beleive
me, once you heal your children will love all the energy their new mommy
will have, you confidence will grow and they will reflect that back to you,
its your decision, it should be taken seriously, but your childrens ages
shouldnt hold you back. Michelle
— [Deactivated Member]
December 16, 2005
Hi Melisa~
I will tell you that I research weight loss surgery for a very, very, very
long time. At the time my twins were 2 1/2 years old. My parents begged
me.. please wait to have surgery until they are older...
I will start by telling you that I had the MINI GASTRIC BYPASS(MGB). I had
researched this for so long and did the comparison's and felt that the mgb
was in MY best interest for several reasons. 1, it was less invasive that
the RNY. 2, my surgery took 1 hour due to scar tissue. 3. I was out of the
hospital the following day. 4. The risks were much, much, much less than
the RNY. 5. My surgery is reversible should it need be. 6. and the death
rate is by far what caugt my eye.. 2 in almost 4,500 patients. With this
said, again, my parents, begged me to wait.. I sat down with them and
showed them the comparisson of the two surgeries.. I think that the death
rate elevated alot of their worries.. however, I knew in the back of my
mind what they were thinking.. that if I should die, they would have to
help my husband raise our twins. They were scared to death. Now, getting
back to waiting until they are older.. NO.. do it now that they are young..
so that youhave the opportunity to get on the floor with that precious
little 15 month old, do it now that so when you can to your 5 y ear old
school conferences and actually FIT into their tiny chairs that are not
made for ADULT butts(lolol). so that you can run up adn down teh sidelines
at your sons soccer game when he scores and screw..
wwwwwwwwwwooooooooooooooooo, wooooooooooooooooo!!!
I remember going to one of the stepchildrens parents/teacher conferences
wtih my husband when i was 288lbs.. and having to try to "sqeeze"
into that desk.. I TOLD MYSELF.. NEVER AGAIN, WILL I BE HUMILATED LIKE
THIS... thinking about the things I couldn't do because of my weight brings
tears to my eyes. For the first time in over 10 years.. my husband and I
took our(his) older three to six flags.. and I rode that darn batman ride 5
times, YES, 5 TIMES.. you know why.. BECAUSE I COULD FIT!!!!!
Do you research, pray and find the solution and I wish you the best of luck
on your weight loss journey.. if you would like to talk or e-mail feel free
to shoot me an e-mail at [email protected]
DS
— ds
December 16, 2005
I would definitely go ahead and do it now. It will take some adjusting for
the kids for a little while, but they are so young, they will probably
never even remember it. My son is 9 years old, and wish I would have done
this so much sooner! We were riding in the car yesterday, and my son said
"mom, when are we going to be able to play soccer?" My husband
said "it will be a little while." Then....my son said
"that's ok, I have been waiting 9 years, I can wait a little
longer." Don't make your kids wait any longer to get their mommy
healthy than they have to. Sandra Martinez
— Sandra.M
December 16, 2005
I had RNY on 10/18/05 and I have a 17 month old and an 8 year old and
neither the kids or I have had any problems.
— jengriggs01
December 16, 2005
My son had just turned 2 when I had surgery. It was the best time for me
and I wanted to enjoy the rest of his toddler hood. Now down 103 lbs, I am
more able to enjoy my interactions with him, get on the floor and play with
his toys and chase after him on his bike. IT is the best!!!!
— ppaige
December 16, 2005
My kids were almost 5 and 2 and it was the best thing I could have done. I
use to parent from the couch, and now I can keep up with them, not to
mention take care of their needs much more easily. I use to worry about my
oldest starting elementary school and having the kids tease him about his
"Fat" Mom. I was thin by kindergarten :) It was not hard on
them at all. I didn't let the surgery slow me down so they didn't know the
difference. They just thought Mommy was on another diet. I totally
disagree that it would be hard on the children, especially if you have a
supportive husband.
— mom2jtx3
December 16, 2005
Hello,
Only you have control over your final decision, but I must say I have a 2yr
old and 12 yr old. I had RNY this year and my only regret is that I did
not doing it sooner. I was off my feet (as much as I could) for 1 week.
Then I began to enjoy life all over again with my children. I can go up
and down the stairs, sit on the floor indian style and alot of other stuff.
Also, I have to share, my son said, "Mom I can tell that you lost
weight, when I hug you I can put my arms all the way around you". Now
if that is not worth it, then I am not sure what is. Hope this helps!
— Slimming Down
December 16, 2005
I think that you should go ahead and have the surgery now. The reason I
think that everyone is telling you to wait, is in the begining I was told
that I couldn't lift anything heavy.
— Kathleen L.
December 16, 2005
Now is the best time, you are young as you will ever be, health as ever,and
will be best able to enjoy their live the most, thats what its all about.
not being a side line invalid,
I suggest that you check out all surgery types, including the DS, go to
the DS forum, ask , its hard to get, but life after wards is quite normal .
no dumping and no pouch rules, only 12k in mexico
— walter A.
December 16, 2005
I've already responded to this question but thought I should add this.. I
was 5 years old when my mother had gastric bypass surgery....I don't even
remember it.
— RebeccaP
December 16, 2005
I don't have any kids, however, it sounds like a good age to me. If you
don't do it now, somebody is going to have another reason or excuse as to
why you should wait. Do it now while the kids are young -- by the time the
5 year old is 7 years old and want to play little league something --
you'll be able to keep up. Do it now while they are young and they can
grow up with the memories of Mom being able to play with me --- go for it.
— the7thdean
December 17, 2005
Have the surgery now...do not wait! Children are so able to go with the
flow and you will be so glad you did! I have two kids, 6 & 8, and
although surgery wasn't an option when they were much smaller (I wasn't as
big then as I am now) if I could have had surgery then back then I would
have! Even though children love their mommies no matter what you always
wonder if some wisea** from the playground might make a comment that might
hurt your child's feelings. Also, as moms we tend to put our needs last,
and if you put off surgery now, what makes you think having a 4 year old
and a 10 year old will make it easier? GO FOR IT!!!!!
— Mrs. Crabapple
December 17, 2005
Wait for what? For them not to miss you while you're in the hospital? Not
being able to pick them up? Seems silly to me... it'll still be hard on
them 5 years from now. Do the surgery when YOU want to do the surgery.
— SJP
December 20, 2005
Why do you have to wait? My daughter was 5 years old when I had my surgery
done 9 years ago. It was the best decision of my life. I will do it again
if I have to.
— Dani96
January 3, 2006
My greatest regret is the years I lost to morbid obesity. I so wish I would
have done it while my kids were little. I was not a very good mom when I
was so obese because I simply did not have the energy to do what I should
have been doing. I feel very bad about the teasing my kids took for
having a fat mom. My oldest punched somebody in Elementary School for
insulting me. Fortuantely the school he was in at the time ( A private
school with an emphasis on Character values) Saw that he was defending me
and punishished the teaser for talking mean , and gave my son a time out
for hitting (which is wrong whatever the reason)
I am a primary caregiver for my grandson. He was 4 when I had surgery. I
explained to him before that the dr was going to operate on me to fix my
tummy. Weight was not mentioned as I do not feel it is appropriate to
start putting thoughts in a 4 year olds head that size of a person matters.
Only what is inside is what determines a good person. After surgery he
wanted to see my OWIE and I let him look. he had to check it every day to
be sure that it was getting better. He knew it hurt and he was very gentle
and especially well behaved while I was recovering. 3 years later, he was
looking at some photos and saw one of me at 260 , he said "oh that
is a very old picture Gramma" he sees the difference, but I am still
the same person to him, but one that goes down the slides with him and
climbs thru the tunnels and runs and plays with him now. I am a lot more
fun than I used to be.
— **willow**
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