Question:
psyc told me I was a failure

had the first psyc consult, therapist told me I was a failure and I had cyclicle dieting patterns. I have to see her again tomorrow. curiois as to what to do next. did anyone else have a horrific time at there psyc consult. I did call the Doc's office and told them what she said they told me to wait to the final report.    — tobys-mom (posted on September 28, 2008)


September 28, 2008
I'm not sure what you should do next, but maybe you should find another office to work with. It sounds as though this therapist doesn't know how to work with people. Don't get discouraged or let it get you down.
   — sweetcheeks194

September 28, 2008
Many RNY patients have had similar experiencs. Most of the US has tried different diet programs, lost weight, and then regained the wt PLUS additional pounds. So your situation is not unique. Hopefully, you've stayed with these programs for more than a few weeks, exhibiting a real attempt to lose wt. That may be what your shrink is look at, possibly many attempts, but short in duration? My last attempt was in 2002, when I particpated in a program for 8 months, going from 345 to 286. But I was hungry constantly, and my family was going to kill me if I didn't cook anything besides chicken or fish. I gave up finally, and the wt returned. I had RNY some 28 months ago, and have gone from 345 to under 190--doing far better than I ever expected. Even the RNY surgery is only a tool towards wt loss. After 6 months time, the wt loss effort becomes "more mental" where you have to make wise eating decisions, as the body is adjusting to the surgery, and the wt loss is not as easy as the first 6 months. DAVE
   — Dave Chambers

September 28, 2008
i hav'nt had mine yet & i hope it goes better than urs. u no ur not a failure we know it too hang in there soory u went thru that
   — iwantobok4me

September 28, 2008
find a new doctor. I actually went to one that my surgeon recommended me to (never met her before), she asked me a few questions and then cleared me for surgery, was so simple! ask your surgeon if they can recommend a doctor for you. if not, find one out of the yellow pages. it's only one visit.
   — LA2194

September 28, 2008
No you are not alone! You must have gone to the same nut (psychiatrist) I went to. He was so horrible and outrageous. First he makes me "sit" down in a bean bag chair, rants on and on about what a failure I am, and then mocks me because he has to pull me out of the beanbag chair because with my 310 pound body, I couldn't get up. I was so spitting mad when I went to see my doctor. He must have told that nut not to ever send me a bill because I never did receive one, nor was one ever submitted my insurance company. Fire that nut, tell your doctor, and get referrals to a good one. What my doctor told me was that he sends folks to see psychiatrists and feels that all bariatric doctors do the same, not so much as to help the patient but as to get something in the file to support the surgeon in case there is a malpractice suit brought against the doctor. He was most blunt when he said this. By the way, I am 3 yrs 9 months out, have lost 150 lbs and am after an over 2 year plateau, again losing weight and shrinking my body. My health is absolutely excellent, my blood work is excellent, I feel great, have the heart of an athelete (that's what the docs say), and ever so glad I had this life-changing surgery. It is so great being able to easily get up off the floor, putter in the yard, run around the block or whatever, and all the while eating what is right for my body. Hang in there and know that you are not alone. One of these days I will actually post pictures and what not at my profile page -- once I learn how to do it. Again I say, fire that nut. Christine Gibson -- Obesity Help Support Group Coach
   — Christine Gibson

September 28, 2008
Of course we are all dieting failures, if we were successes, we wouldn't need surgery. Sounds like you need to see a new psychiatrist. Dawn
   — DawnVic

September 28, 2008
What kind of help is it for a therapist to tell someone that they're a failure... Isn't it their job to help people instead of put them down? My psych eval went well - I just went back for multiple visits because she was concerned about me being so depressed... I passed for the surgery.
   — ap2008324

September 28, 2008
Wow.... talk about a horrible therapist!!! NO therapist should EVER EVER EVER tell their patient they are a Failure, not ever ever. The first rule in treating patients in the psychiatric field is "Do no harm". This so-called Doctor violated his own code of ethics, in my opinion. Not only should you find another doctor, but I'd report him to whomever referred you to him as well as any governing bodies in your area. And HELLO.... if we weren't "cyclic dieters", we wouldn't be overweight to begin with!!!! Find a new doc, do not go back for a second, and possibly even more humiliating experience with this quack. IN my most **humble** of opinions :) Good luck!
   — oneangelady

September 28, 2008
Hopefully that means you fit the "profile" as having tried and failed WL on your own or in a group...Like all of us who end up having surgery. I just hope it doesn't mean that the doc actually thinks that you won't be able to conform to the strict diet and exercise of wls maintenence...I just can't believe how cruel people can be...especially one who is supposed to be professional. NO ONE deserves that and I'd report him/her to their superior for humiliating you. I had a great psych visit...She just asked me questions on a list and then said..."you are a good candidate for RNY...I'll set you up for nutrition classes" and she hugged me! .....and that was that! No bull! I was 315 lbs and failed at keeping my weight off. I lost large amts of weight with no huge troubles...I just could not keep it off! Plus I wanted the surgery for my health...I wanted to be a part of my family again and be able to go out and fit in a restaurant booth or a movie theater seat....Or fly on a plane without having to buy two seats...I poured my heart out about my fear of dying before I was done living...and of feeling like life was not worth living trapped in that huge body with all the pain and diseases. I didn't know what to expect...I didn't know if they thought I might be suicidal, which I sure felt often at 315 lbs...I was in tears half the psych interview...I couldn't help it...I felt so desperate and didn't have a clue what my behavior might get me. I got approved immediately.
   — .Anita R.

September 29, 2008
Carol said almost exactly what I was thinking. Get a different doctor. I called the local community health center and asked if one the psychs there were pro-surgery. When I was told yes, I signed up, had a great interview. Cyclical? Of course we are! That's why we have the surgery. Keep your chin up and get a new psych.
   — sandra17

September 29, 2008
Find a new dr. No professional should be telling you your a failure. They arw a failure at what they do talking to people like that. Was she fat????
   — Joanc

September 30, 2008
Wait for the final report... despite what the therapist said, you may still qualify.
   — mrsidknee

October 26, 2008
I am so sorry that you had that experience!!! I have psych. problems and have seen many psychiatists and counselors in my life. I have run into some bad ones in my time too. When I do, I never see them again. Do not go back to anyone that makes you feel worse!! I also finally got up the nerve to confront a couple of them on what they have told me. Anyone that would say something like that is extremely bad at what they do!! Just because she is a psych., doesnt' mean that she is good at what she does. This process is not easy, so you need a lot of GOOD support. Good luck!!
   — Jane65




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