Question:
I HAVE A SURGERY DATE TO HAVE A OPEN RNY

I HAVE A SURGERY DATE IN 14 WEEKS AND SOME MEMEBERS IN MY FAMILY DON'T THING I SHOULD HAVE THIS SURGERY THEY THINK ALL I NEED TO DO IS STOP EATING THEY KEEP TELLING ME I AM OK THE WAY AND THAT THEY DON'T KNOW ANY PEOPLE WHO ARE DOING THIS TO HELP THEM LOSE WEIGHT. WHAT ARE SOMETHING I CAN SAID OR SHOW THEY THAT IS A GOING TO BE ALRIGHT    — APRIL D. (posted on August 27, 2002)

August 27, 2002
hello you are in a tough position my best friend didn't want me to have the surgery either, for several reasons: 1. she didn't think i was "that bad" and 2. she feared i would change and we wouldn't be friends anymore well, i tried to list the reasons i needed the surgery (all the health issues, the inability to walk more than 15 feet without having to stop for breath, sleep apnea, not being able to clip my toenails or put on my shoes!!) she still didn't understand but about 6 months out she noticed that when i got our of her resin outdoor chairs, i no longer took the chair with me as i stood cuz it stuck to my hips & thighs.... search around on obesityhelp.com for reasons for the surgery including preventative reasons and show the lists to your family... please also get some support from either an online support group (lots on yahoo and msn) or in person {{hugs}} kate open rny 6-14-01 pre op: 268lbs goal weight: 135lbs current weight: 130lbs
   — jkb

August 27, 2002
Your family loves you, and they do want what is best for you. Heck, when I first heard that my brother was going to have this surgery, I thought he was Crazy (notice the capital C!!?? lol) But, then I started doing the research and found that the statics are pretty darn good. Buy some books on it (there are several available, new and used thru Amazon.com), inform your family. My husband was totaly impressed with my knowledge when we went to the Dr.'s information meeting and he had already heard most of the info from me. That's when he knew that I really studied the surgery and that it wasn't just a whim. Let your family also know how much you love them and that you are doing this so you can be with them. I am 3 weeks out today (down 29 lbs.) and I feel wonderful! Have patients, your family will feel apprehensive for a while, that is normal, but remember, it's because they love you (and you have to admit, it does sound drastic) Educate them and yourself and everything will be fine. Good Luck!
   — Dana B.

August 27, 2002
I had my surgery on 4/19/02 and couldn't be happier with the results. Your family will see how you do after the surgery and will be so happy for you. This surgery literally saved my life. I had steathohepatitis from being fat and it could have ruined my liver and taken my life...Good luck...
   — Linda {Kati} W.

August 27, 2002
Hi April, I have a suggestion for your family when they tell you all you have to do is stop eating. My answer to them would be--ok, if it is so easy, lets see all of you stop eating for a day or so. Sorry, but stopping eating is not easy even if a person is not overweight. {{{HUGS}}}
   — Carolyn L.

August 27, 2002
Although your family's hearts are in the right place, they don't walk in your shoes. They can't live your life for you. You can't trade bodies with them. And they don't have to feel the pain of your weight problem. This is something that you need to decide for yourself. To be honest, I walked into that hospital on the day of surgery with a heart for the future, and I walked out of that hospital with no regrets. And everytime I step on the scale I thank God for WLS. That scale wouldn't be moving down without it. Good Luck.
   — Sarah K.

August 27, 2002
April, it is obvious that you have done some homework and have decided that this surgery is what you want. Good for you! Unfortunately, many people who do not have weight problems (or even some who do have weight problems) often do not understand how difficult life is for obese people to walk around in public, to move around each day or even to do everyday, ordinary things such as grocery shop or walk around a mall. It might help if you explain to your family that this surgery is not about losing weight to get skinny. It is about losing your excess weight so that you will live a fuller, healthy life. Heck, if it was only a matter of not eating, then why are soooooo many people in America overweight?! It is a problem of epidemic proportions. If you were to put off having this surgery, who knows what medical problems you might develop in the next few/several years and then where would you be? When you talk with your family, make sure you are prepared with plenty of information to share with them. If they refuse to see things from your perspective, then they will just have to "deal with it." And down the road when you are thinner, healthy and happy, hopefully they will see what you saw months before them. I wish you luck. HUGS :o)
   — Jennifer A.

August 29, 2002
I had the same worries pre op which is why I only told my parents, siblings, fiance and daughter..the rest of my family I knew would not be supportive..so they still don't know..even at 5 weeks post op (and 44lbs. gone!)..I just told them that I have been watching what I eat and working out..I told more friends than I did family and some were supportive while others thought I was crazy. As far as them telling you that you should just stop eating..they can't understand what your dealing with..don't allow the negative energy to get to you. What you should tell them is that this is a choice your making for yourself and while you appreciate their concern you are making this choice with must research and education. It's funny because I even heard that I looked great and didn't need the surgery (starting weight of 352lbs. at 5'8..YEAH RIGHT!)...I am proud I made the decision and glad that I kept the drive and positive attitude to take me to the "loosing side" and you WILL too!!!!!!!!
   — Trish R.