Question:
Can you have a normal (but different) life after Roux-En Y Bypass surgery?
I'm seriously considering this procedure after about 30+ years of failed dieting. I'm over 40 now and starting to develop health problems (no diabetes yet, but doctors say it's coming soon). As scared as I am to have the surgery, I'm more scared not to have it. One question for all of you who have had it done... After recovery and you "re-learn" a new eating pattern (and new relationship to food), can you have a "normal" life? By this, I mean, can you still enjoy holiday family dinners, dinners out with friends? I have no problem following the recommended diet and exercise guidelines after but would love some reassurance that "social" eating is still possible within new limitations. — lucy_007 (posted on August 24, 2009)
August 24, 2009
You better believe it. The only thing that will change is your plate size.
If you are thinking about weight loss surgery, stop thinking and get it
done. It is the best decision I have ever made. I had the RNY 3.5 yrs and
no problems post op. Go to www.lapsf.com on the left side blue box click
on "Weight Loss and Revisional Surgeries" then click
"Intro-What Are My Options", scroll down to where you see the
picture of a stomach. Click here to view the surgery comparison chart.
Print this email so you can follow my directions. Will add more later,
gott run.
— Kristy
August 24, 2009
I consider my weight loss surgery (RNY) my second most important surgery
after my cardiac bypass. I wish I had done it when I was your age as it may
have prevented me needing the cardiac bypass. I consider my life to be
"normal" except that I can't eat as much as I did before surgery.
I eat pretty much anything I want just small amounts. My way of looking at
food has really changed since the surgery and I find I don't turn to it for
comfort as I did in the past.
The surgery was not difficult for me and I was back at work seven days
afterwards. I would tell anyone who's thinking about it to "go for it,
and not look back!"
— rkurquhart
August 24, 2009
I agree with Kristy. I regret not having the surgery years ago when I first
wanted it but was denied. I understand your fears, our social structure
revolves around food, we go out to lunch we go out for dinner. It just
takes planning on your part. Go someplace that posts their nutrition info
online so you can scope out your meals ahead of time. I went on a cruise
at 9 months out and still lost weight on the trip. You can do it!!
— ToniLee
August 24, 2009
Life after bypass surgery for me has been different than I expected. I am
much healthier (no more Insulin, no more CPAP, no more Blood Pressure
medicine). My relationship with food is very different. I thought I would
not really have to think about food again, but that is not true. I spend
as much time making correct choices and ensuring that I get enough protien,
water, etc. as I did hating myself for eating 1/2 a bag of cookies. I eat
to live now, not live to eat. I must admit that has taken some getting
used to. I would not change a thing(except having the bypass sooner.. I
was 56 years old). I just have a new "normal" life. Good Luck
— psrd370
August 24, 2009
You sound like I was in 1999 before my RNY. Please take a look at my OH
profile. My ONLY regret is that I didn't know about this procedure 5 years
earlier. One small piece of advise; be aware of why you have the
relationship that you do with food so that following surgery you won't
replace food with another "crutch" to fill in thae void. I wish
you the very best and commend you for doing the research, asking the
questions and being proactive on your journey to the better side of life.
— Pamela Ryan
August 24, 2009
At 10 mths out and about 120lbs lighter than my starting weight of 298 I
have a far more normal life than I ever did before! I go out more, am far
more active, and am so used to my new eating habits that it doesn't bother
me anymore. I go out to eat w/ friends or co-workers, and enjoy holiday
meals w/ no problem. By now the only attention it gets is someone checking
to make sure there's something I can eat on the menu. (There always is!) At
family events I fix my own plate so it's not overloaded, is balanced well,
and I'm get my protein in. If I'm out, I divide my food then box up
whatever I want to take home so I don't graze. My guy friends are
especially happy because they get to finish cleaning my plate most of the
time.
— snickersblk
August 25, 2009
I have a lot of wonderful friends and family so wls did not change my
relationship with them! I still go out to eat but actually save money
because I usually order from the horduerves list or the children's menu
(some places will allow you). If I have to order from a full menu I just
ask them to give me half portions or ask for a "chicken sandwich and
hold the bread". The toughest thing I've run into is the waiters NOT
believing that I don't want something to drink with my meal. They keep
asking, :Are you sure?"
— Muggs
August 25, 2009
Ok I gues I will be the voice of caution. If social eating is a big concern
I have found it very difficult. I don't like people commenting on how
little I eat and they do. Me and my hubby use to eat out a lot we don't now
because it seems a waste most the time. Waitresses get upset or concerned
that I did not like the food. It is just to much fuss for me.
But I love the changes in my life. It is worth it all. I can do so many
things could not. Food is just not that important any more. I hope ti
stays this way but I am just over a year and they say it changes as time
goes on so I will see.
— trible
August 25, 2009
I think our greatest fear isn't really the surgery itself. I think it is
the possibility of losing our best friend "Food". What I did
before surgery kinda not by choice is I just started not liking the foods
that I once loved. I guess you could say I had to sever my tie and love
and contection with food. That is the first key to successful weight loss.
As a previous post mentioned, look at food in a different way. I loved
burritos, chinese food, a lot of other food. The closer I got to my
surgery date, I almost didn't want to eat. Then one day on the liquid diet
and off to the surgery room. So the tie you have with food should be taken
care of pre op. Also, foods that you like pre op, you probably won't like
for awhile post op. You really will have a different connection for food.
Just remember, you aren't having the wls to have a fear of losing food, you
are having the surgery to get healthy and you need food to live, not live
for food. I really hope all of our posts have given you a positive look at
the world of weight loss. The first 4 months are actually the hardest, but
when you learn how to eat again, sip, chew, chew, chew it will eventually
come naturally. After the first year, you will forget about the "pre
op you"
— Kristy
August 25, 2009
I'm the original poster of the question and I just wanted to say the
biggest thank you to all of you!!! I understand that I ( and likely a lot
of people) have an unnatural tie to food - I'm not afraid to break that tie
- in fact, I look forward to it! What I was afraid of was a life of
constant worry, medical issues (initially yes, but not long term) and loss
of the the social aspect of life after. From all of the responses, I see
now that it's almost the exact oppposite - the social side of life will
likely get better. So now I just have to hang in there - have submitted for
funding approval to go to u.s for the procedure (live in ontario) - hoping
to have procedure done in detroit by end of 2009 or early 2010. Like I
said, I know I have to do it, but it's nice to know that i have this light
to look forward to. Thank you all so much.
— lucy_007
August 25, 2009
I had rny 14 months ago and am living a perfectly normal life. Better than
it was before surgery. I am able to eat whatever I want and choose to eat
healthily. I am energetic and doing things I wouldn't have done before
surgery. Life is good and I have been blessed to be someone who has NOT
lost freinds or family over it. It has been an adjustment, but throughout
the year you learn. You re evaluate your thoughts on food and your desire
to be healthy over rides any negative things. I only regret that I didn't
do this sooner. I am 45 now and had many years of unhappiness and
unhealthiness with my weight. Life is good now. Best of luck to all! God
bless and hugs, kim
— gpcmist
August 25, 2009
I am less than 3 months out from RNY and am having a blast. In fact, I
love cooking more than ever. I just look at it as a challenge to cook/eat
healthier. I got some new high protein/low carb cookbooks that help. I
dont' eat out as much but not a problem when I do. With close friends I
just nibble off their plates (with their permission of course). I explain
to waitresses that I just had gastric bypass so I don't usually get charged
for splitting a meal plus they seem less irritated that I am not eating.
It doesn't really bother me what other people are eating. I just tell
myself that already I have lost 45 pounds and feel 5 years younger. I had
46 years to eat whatever I want. Now I need to focus on living well for
the next 46 years!
— lanasmcknight
August 25, 2009
I have been preparing for this surgery for about a year now.I to was
undecided about whether I was going to have the surgery.I think my
indecision was mainly that it is so permanent.I have met 2 women in the
past 2 weeks that had the surgery a year ago at age 66.Without blinking
they both said do it! I have finally made the decision to do because 1 I
had surgery a D & c last week and I have a hernia now so I have to have
it fixed.Your answers here are very helpful for those of us that have yet
to under go the procedure.Thanks for your post!
— ULA_LONG
August 25, 2009
As a fellow Ontarian, I urge you to visit the Ontario Forum here, on this
website...go to forums, then international, then Ontario...good luck....
— missingmanny
August 25, 2009
Just my opinion,the way things were, I was going to have a life style
change anyway, Diabetes means a life style change, heart attack means
having a life style change, etc so forth..I am at this point no longer
close to heart attack or diabetes, I can wear nice clothes, Cheaper too, I
can breath and walk, and when I eat out, they put this huge old plate in
front of me I almost groan, because I don't want it, I don't feel hungry I
just know I need to eat something, then again I also have to be very
careful of the sugar and greasy contents which make me dump,...
Now eating out, to me can be fun or not, depends, I sit and eat teeny
little bites and put most of it on my hubbies plate, unless they let me
take it home, then it will last 2-4 meals mmm left overs..Poor hubby is now
where I was, way over weight...So my opinion it is a personal thing I can
take it or leave it, ppl either accept my changes or don't go with me when
I do eat out, because I am now a very fast eater.. AHem...3 little bites
all done..bye..Kidding...mostly...Good luck on your decision..I love my new
life its great...Hugs Gabby
— gaydria
August 25, 2009
Susan, thanks for asking this question. It never occurred to me to ask,
but the answers have been very helpful to me. I had already decided to
have the surgery, but these answers have made me feel even better about my
decision. I'm submitting my "application" this week. Thanks
everyone!
— Gail T.
August 26, 2009
Great question. I, like the other posters, don't regret the surgery or my
relationship with food post-op ( believe me, it is different in so many
ways and I don't think you can completely relate until you're on the other
end - I never thought I'd turn my nose up to so many things I loved pre-op,
but I just do). As a matter of fact, I wish I had done it when I first
startng researching, though I was MUCH more ready when I did finally do it
because I had done SO much soul searching and also pro-op counselling to
explore the reasons for emotional eating, etc.
Anyway, I am just psat 3 months post op and I still have a rough time going
to just any restaurant and finding something that #1 appeals to me and #2
is good for my way of eating now. I am still pretty fresh out, but with my
job I have to eat out frequently. I do what several others have suggested
- I try to get nutritional info prior to my meal and also try to steer the
restaurant venue toward Sushi so that I have lots of options. But, even so,
I eneded up eating Sashimi 3 times last week (not that I'm complaining, but
even that can get old). I hear it gets better, and I'm sure it will, but
it does still pose a challenge early on.
Socially, it is tough too, because I have been very open about my RNY and
so we all try to schedule a meal together if there are no other options
such as a concert or other event. I know it's tough, but we've actually all
gotten pretty creative to make sure that food isn't the main focus of every
social event we take part of. Even with this being said, my life is far
more "normal" than it was when I weighed 70 lbs more than I do
now and I would get tired and not want to do anything, or didn't feel like
I belonged in certain situations.
Either way, best of luck to you. Go for it and don't look back if you think
it's the right thing for you.
— stellarsan
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