Question:
Doctor said no?

I have done all but 2 of my pre-op appointments. Everything has gone very well until yesterday when I went to get my physical. My primary care doctor has a doctors assisstant who usually sees me. The assisstant did my physcial and was very impressed with the research I had done and said she would have my letter typed by the end of the week. I got a call today and she told me that my primary care doctor told her that because I am 20 I need to try dieting again! This woman is skinny as a rail and I'm sure she has no idea... I guess the thing that bothers me is that last year, she also told my mom she shouldn't get a hysterectomy (sp?) even though my mom was in pain and her gyno said she should. Her reasoning? she doesn't like surgery?! Dr. Pearlstein who I am going to for the Bariatic requires that you have been with your Primary for 6 mo. My insurance only covers me in NY and I live in VA. I purposly came home for this. Can she really say no after all I have done? I know she doesn't have to like it but can she really do that? Im so frustrated and upset, if anyone has ANY advice please help!    — emilena (posted on June 22, 2006)

June 22, 2006
That really sucks! Have you tried discussing it with your primary care doc and see if there is any way she will waver on it? If you have done previous documented dieting it would be good to show her proof of that. I have had to go through a 6 month class and a couple months of waiting with paperwork and lab work. I keep reminding myself that I've been over weight 15+ years, that a year of waiting is going to be worth it and in the long run not much time. You may just have to get a new doc if you try every avenue and nothing works. I wish you the best of luck!
   — [Deactivated Member]

June 22, 2006
That really sucks. I would try getting as much hard evidence as you can possibly gather; statistics, your personal weight info (although she already has it), risks that you may encounter in the future, etc. and present them to her and plead your case to her. If that doesn't work then try to find a new doctor. Isn't it worth waiting a few more months for a lifetime of happiness?
   — Jaime Moore

June 22, 2006
SEE THE PCP DIRECTLY, tell her she is a roadblock, and you will changge PCPs over this! Remember you are a CUSTOMER and she is making bucks from YPU! Let us know what happens and call your surgeon under the circumstances they will likely waive the 6 month rule, and refer you to a WLS friendly and experienced PCP which has the skills to care for you better anyway!
   — bob-haller

June 23, 2006
Take your research and show it to the docotr. Many docotrs do not realize that obesity is a disease, and sometimes we need medical intervention. We have plenty of will power! If you really have tried exercise and dieting, and it does not work (as opposed to you don't foloow it) then you need the surgery!
   — Novashannon

June 23, 2006
Sorry you are going through this, but very impressed that you did all your research and that is an Ace in your pocket. I'd talk to your dr til she gets blue in the face. Take it from someone who has been MO since age 6. Tried many MANY times to lose weight over the course of time. Each time it only came back worse than before. I Didn't have WLS til I was 45 and close to 400 lbs. I lost 120 lbs but so many factors including my age, menopause, affect metabolism and I am having a hard time losing any more. So ask your dr. to tell you specifically how many dieting attempts and for how long before she is satisfied that WLS is your best option. Are there any comorbidities that run in your family, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart attacks, that you would be at greater risk of developing in you remain obese. Hit her with the research that has been done on the effects of YoYo dieting. The more times you go up and down on the scale the more sluggish and confused your metabolism gets. I would now have given anything to be able to have had WLS in my early 20s! Dont give up! Ask her what she thinks one more dieting attempt prove in the long run, In my opinion you would have to keep that weight off for at least a year to be able to prove that dieting worked for you. YOu must also convince her that you know very well that WLS is not a magic solution to weight loss. Once you are past that Honeymoon stage of rapid weight loss that if you are lucky lasts about a year, you have to work just as hard as you would with any regular dieting attempt to control cravings and exercise to keep the weight off too. Realizing and committing to that isn't determined by age. I was 40 when I had WLS and didn't fully understand it, sure I kept hearing it. But I didn't take ownership of it, in my feeble brain was the idea that I was going to be the one to breeze my way on down to goal with no problems, I would never again have trouble resisting a twinkie. Boy was I so wrong and I wrestle with the demons of food cravings every day and the defeat of feeling unmotivated because I work long hours and have knee problems and 100 other things that keep me from regular exercise. Maybe just maybe at the age of 20 there would have been less factors to influence my noncompliance. Being single and having much more energy at 20 would have been a big plus. I'm crossing my fingers and toes that you will be able to convince her. Good Luck! If you cant, then get beyond the disappointment, look for a WLS friendly PCP in your area and start the process over. You're young and time is on your side!
   — SARose61

June 23, 2006
Emily, Sometimes PCPs are no help at all. In all honesty, most of them I have met/dealt with (in my short 22 years!) have been clueless about a lot of stuff. I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but they really are just regular people like you and me, and sometimes, WE are smarter and more well-informed! You do have options though; several: 1) change PCPs (yeah, I know... another 6 months and the fact that you are taking time off school for all this) 2) change surgeons. Though you do love your soon-to-be WLS surgeon, there are MANY good ones out there, especially in NY. Maybe some others won't have as many requirments. I know my surgeon wanted a letter from my PCP, and I was able to (just barely!) supply that, but he totally understood the bias that many people have against WLS (Yes, even other medical professionals!) If your surgeon doesn't understand the whole story about your PCP being so stubborn (have you told him/her about your PCP troubles?) then I would look for a new surgeon. And no, your doctor cannot not let you get WLS. Yes, she can refuse to write you a letter, or recommend it, but it is ultimatly your decsion. If you wanted you could go tomorrow and self-pay and she couldn't say a thing. You are her pay check. If she doesn't listen to you (and that's what doctors should do!) then please find another... because you will (I am for certain on this) be having problems with her in the future on other issues. Good luck to you, and I hope it all works out. Need anything? email me. =) ~Amanda in Akron (Ohio)~ (Sorry for the spelling and grammar errors, I am in a hurry and not going to edit this at all!) ;o)
   — AmandaLeigh =)