Question:
last night one of my guy friends gave me a
i am having surgery in 5 days now i don't know. never once did he support me in my decision. he talked about the what if's now i am very confused about my decision to have the surgery the only thing he talked about was not making it through. he told me i was fake to even think about having surgery and this is the way GOD made me. i was at peace with my decision i know that GOD is on my side with this decision. my mind is wondering now. did he tell me this in good faith or was this plain old mean — LUKESHA C. (posted on March 1, 2003)
March 1, 2003
If your friend values your life at all, he'll be thankful that you had
surgery and prolonged your life. He's just scared. You do this for YOU, not
for anyone else. If he's truly your friend, he'll be there when it's all
over and one with. And I agree with the previous poster. If he's had
ANYTHING done to him, even taking out a diseased gall bladder or appendics,
then he isn't the exact same as he was born. Don't let this affect your
decision. Do what's right for you, and save your own life.
— Diana L.
March 1, 2003
If you feel peace with your decision I wouldn't let your friend confuse
you. Everyone has their own opinions but you are the only one who walks in
your shoes. You know there are risks with any surgery. But there are just
as many risks with getting up in the morning. I will be praying for you.
Godspeed.
— babybear67
March 1, 2003
Ditto Donna Brandt (your 1st reply below). I found Jeremiah 29:11 when I
was pre op...For I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and
not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. If you have peace of
mind about your decision thats all you need.
— Denise W.
March 1, 2003
I agree with everyone else. We have the power to correct problems. True,
God made you this way, he also gave us the knowledge to do this surgery. I
can't beleive that your friend researched this surgery at all and probably
doesn't know that much about it. My friends were very scared for me when I
had my surgery but none said don't do it. They did ask the obligitory
question, "can't you just diet or exercise" but that just showed
their ignorance of my situation. They never saw the diets and exercise I
had done in the past. Thin people have absolutely no idea what it is like
to be fat, or the hell we go through to be like them. This surgery is for
you, and no one else. If you are comfortable with the idea of surgery and
the changes you will have to make, then no one else matters. Go for it you
won't be sorry. I'm not!! Open RNY 11-11-02 down 100lbs!!!
— dkinson
March 1, 2003
Hmmmm. Let's see... Jesus healed someone who was blind from birth. That
means he changed what God had created. Lets see again, he raised the dead
when their number was up. What a bad person he was to go messing with God's
creation. So ether Jesus was a sinner to do those things, or your
"friend" (who needs enemies with friends like him) is a cruel
rotton horse's A, or he is just plain ignorant. In ether case I'd stay away
from someone like this. Bet if it was him suffering, he would'nt take his
own advice. ;)
— Danmark
March 1, 2003
A co-worker of mine who has "found" God, told me that I was gonna
burn for having WLS. She said I insulted Him by not having enough faith in
Him that He would help "cure" me by diet and exercise. I
destroyed His temple (my body) by having a mere man undo what God had done.
It really hurt me to no end that she would say those mean and hurtful
things to me but I just smiled and said thank you for your concern and
walked away. I KNOW in my heart and soul that WLS was best for me. And I
know He knows too. You can not fight people like that so I dont even try.
She is the second "friend" that I have lost because they didnt
agree with me but if they were my friend, they would have at least been
there for me. Its their lost. Sidney Open RNY 10-23-02 70+ pounds gone.
— Siddy I.
March 1, 2003
Where does your friend think we got the knowledge and capability to find a
safe way to do this surgery? Or the treatments and surgery for cancer,
aids, and thousands of other diseases ( Obesity IS a disease). I feel we
were giving the opportunity to research and find the answers, by, you
guessed it, GOD. :-) We are given free will for a reason. To find the
answers ourselves, WITH the help and Blessing of GOD. Don't let his
ignorance bother you. Have a great Day.
— KellyJeanB
March 1, 2003
Girl, you friend said that you were "fake to even thing about having
surgey and thi is the way GOD made you"??? Now i'm not trying to be
rude, but your friend is fake for even having that conversation with you.
I think his concern for you was really more of an overreaction to not
knowing about the surgery, and as far as god, or a higher power making us
the way we are, I agree but GOD has also selected certain men and women who
perform baratric surgeries to come to our aid and to guide us through this
process. Lakesha, you need to inform your friend of the surgery that you
have having include him in your research (if you wish) and let him see and
know what you know. I know he has a right to his own opinion but you need
to make up your mind for yourself and pray on it girl. A lot of people
suddenly "find god" to tell their friends that they are wrong
about making a personal choice for themselves. I'm sure that GOD gave me
this life for a reason, but I'm almost certain that he/she does not want me
to contine to be uncomfortable, I'm sure he/she wants me to be at my very
best and that's why I choose the surgery.
— Heather S.
March 1, 2003
First of all I am sure that God has your name, address and phone number if
he really truly wants to tell you this info directly. (Sorry, being
cynical) I too briefly struggled with this decision from a faith stand
point. So I decided to turn it over onto God's hands. If it was not meant
to be and there was another way for me, than I was confident that he would
provide a way of escape. All of the doors for me to get this surgery
opened without a hitch. I had the surgery and have never felt more at
peace that it was the right decision. You will not believe how many people
have said that me getting this surgery had been an answer to thier prayers.
Trust me it takes a lot of faith to trust a doctor to alter your body
permanantly. I am confident God can work through surgeons. It is a huge
step to admit that we can not control our weight on our own and have to
trust in something as serious as surgery.
— igot2lose
March 1, 2003
Does this "friend" of yours also seek out people who have heart
bypass surgeries, organ transplants, gallbladder or appendix removals, all
other surgeries that modify the body?? Or does he save his advise just for
his fat friends?
— Shelly S.
March 1, 2003
How does this so-called friend know what God wants for you, Lukesha? And
why does he think he has the authority to speak for God? Maybe your
"friend" should worry about his own spirituality instead of
spewing hurtful judgements onto others in the name of religion. Good luck
in whatever you decide, hon.
— Mea A.
March 1, 2003
Personally I think God helped the surgeons invent the surgeries. God gave
the surgeons their skill. God helped me hear about the surgery (lap band
for me). God helped me figure out a way to pay for the surgery. God gave
me a sense of peace about the surgery.
Get away from that guy. Sounds like a complete loser.
— M. B.
March 1, 2003
When I was 440 lbs 2 yrs before surgery, I was hospitalized twice in 3
months for serious lung problems caused by my weight. (my lungs could not
expand properly due to my weight and I ended up with pneumonia and
respitory failure). In the hospital I was praying and God let me know that
he was with me and I would find the way. I did pulmonary rehab and lost 70
lbs. WLS was not an option at that point because the hospital I worked at
did not cover it. Then in January of 2002 our hospital added coverage for
WLS and I had my surgery in June 2002. I knew that God had this in plan for
me. He knew I needed to do the pulmonary rehab to get my lungs and body in
shape to be able to survive the surgery. I went into surgery at peace and
calm. I have lost 150 lbs in 9 months and feel wonderful. I thank God
everyday for opening this door for me.
— karenrose
March 1, 2003
this is a case where I really wish I knew exact scripture perfectly but I
don't. My view is this. God did make the human body perfect. The way we
function and heal and rejuvinate is nothing short of amazing. Baby's are
not born morbidly obese so God didn't create us obese. We fed our faces. We
made ourselves obese. That is because of free will. We are gifted with
choices and some that we make end up being to our detriment. God said and
this is where I wish I knew exact word for word scripture that we wouldn't
face any temptation that he would not provide away to get out from under! I
know someone out there knows what verse I am thinking of. Amazingly our God
not only created our bodies so perfectly he created the wisdom and the
knowledge that our physicians have so they could help us. Certainly Weight
Loss surgery is not going to save every life of every MO person. There will
be lives saved and lives lost. Our days are predestined. God knows when we
will come in and also when we will go out. No where in the bible have I
read that if you have surgery to loose weight you will burn in hell. Our
body is God's temple and if someone things WLS is messing up the temple.
How about it is fixing what we already sinfully messed up by overeating.
Just my thoughts.
— Carrie D.
March 1, 2003
It continues to amaze me how people "think" they know what GOD
has in store for OTHER people. Like one poster said, GOD can & will
speak to you directly. For years I prayed for help on losing weight. Then
this "tool" was revealed to me. GOD gave the power heal to
everyone including the DRs. He also gave us freewill. Some of us had
medical conditions that caused us to be obese, some a dependency on food,
etc. The point is throughout the bible there are numerous scriptures that
state how GOD healed infirmities and diseases. In essence your friend is
saying the GOD made a mistake with those who were born sick or became sick.
Maybe you should suggest to him that he go back and ask for forgiveness for
being so judgemental. What I suggest you do is pray for him.
— Monique W.
March 2, 2003
God did not make you fat. God made you human. OUr humanity makes us
vulnerable to many things...such as obesity, drugs, alcoholism, and whole
list of other diseases. God cares about you and wants you to be healthy.
God gave humans the understanding of the human body and the talent to be
surgeons. If you have need of a life saving organ transplant or a heart
by-pass surgery, or cancer treatments, you would have it wouldnt you???
Would your friend not want you to have that medical care as well?? Seems
to me your friend has a poblem with weight loss surgery. He is confusing
his ideas and opinions wth Gods. Dont let him and his opinions keep you
from getting a life saving medical treatment. I started out at 388 pounds
and have lost 80 poundsin 4 1/2 months. It is saving my life as we speak.
Terri
— cherokey55
March 2, 2003
Your friend may actually believe what he said to you, however, I believe
that GOD speaks to each of us, and if you were at peace with your decision,
and had been in conversation with GOD throughout your journey to WLS then I
think it is safe to say that, you should continue on the path you are going
on to better health. The Lord created the body, and wants us to treat it
as a temple to him (which to me means as healthy as possible to be able to
go about doing his will). The disease of Morbid Obesity is not from GOD,
as GOD does not create anything that is not GOOD. I would like to think
that your friend wasn't trying to be mean, but maybe he is saying these
things because he is scared for you, or maybe because he is afraid that
your relationship with him will change. Change is difficult for everyone,
and there is no getting around the fact that things will change after you
have WLS, it has to because you will not be the SAME person, you will be
more confident, self-assured etc., and that will make you a different
person. I pray that you will stay the course you are on cause I believe
that you know that GOD is with you in this, and he won't let you down. He
will bring you through this because he brought you to this place, and he
NEVER gives us more than we can handle. Just rely on HIM. Be assured of my
prayer for you as you continue your journey. Soon you will be joining us in
the LOSING side! God Bless, Love, Leslie (RNY 9/20/02 -85 lbs)
— Leslie A. J.
March 2, 2003
Darlin', don't give this this small minded, self-righteous individual
another thought except to evict him from your head and heart! Forgive him
on the way out, so you aren't wasting time and energy on him.
Genetically, you are prolly programmed for obesity, but God didn't make
that, that's an evolutionary adaptation. Our bodies are are wonderful and
strange things, and you can't blame God for what they have done on their
own. :o)
Besides, remember - your Bible says "the Lord helps those who help
themselves". Meaning that the obese who stay home, lying in bed,
eating, will not be favored with God's help; rather you and I, who seek out
surgery, eat right, exercise, will. Right?
— RWH G.
March 2, 2003
I think he is afraid of what you will be like after you loose all the
weight. I went through this with my ex husband. Every time I went on a
diet he would tell me I am perfect the way I am. He would say if he is
happy with me what does it matter what other people think of me. He even
told me that God made me this way. And I am perfect. He wanted to know
why I would change what God created. So I gave up on all diets. I later
found out he was afraid I would loose weight, find someone who would treat
me better, and leave him. Guess what? He and I are no longer together.
And now I am still overweight. I am the one left to deal with the
consiquenses of being overweight. I thank God that my current husband is
supporting me in my quest to have WLS. He loves me just the way I am. But
he knows if I do not loose weight then I will not live a long, full life.
So he does not worry about the what ifs. He knows that WLS is the best way
for me to become healthy. I think if your friend was really a friend, he
would support you 100%. Do not let his thoughts change your mind. You
know what is best and if he cares about you he will be there for you every
step of the way! Good luck. I will keep you in my prayers.
— Maria S
March 2, 2003
Oh wow, I went through the same thing with a few of my friends. The thing
is, if he had cancer, would he be so quick to denounce surgery? Or if his
Mom, sister or wife had to have a C-Section or die, would he tell them,
hey, this is the way God wants you to go? Would he feel that way if surgery
was the only way to keep him from being paralized?
Tell him to get the hell over his self rightous ways. OK, well maybe not
that. I told one of my brothers & ex-boyfriend, who both gave me a
similar speach, that they didn't have to agree with my decision, they just
had to respect me or get the hell out of my life. I'm tired of
"listening" to other people try to make my decisions for me. They
aren't doing so well in there own life, so who are they to tell me what to
do.
Anyway, I don't think he was being mean, or was correct for that matter. I
think he's ignorant. & has issues with control. He's never had to walk
in your shoes, or in your body for that matter. He's never had to feel what
you do. He can't. He may be sympathetic, but can never be empathetic
(spelling is off today, sorry).
This is your life. Period. No one else can live it for you. You are a grown
woman in charge of her own life. Live it! I'm behind you whatever decision
you make, honestly. You can email me anytime &/or call. Ask your heart
what the answer is. God speaks to our hearts. We have the answer inside if
we can get past the false ego & negative thoughts. Behind the fear
& the pain, is the answer. My talks with God were pretty funny. She/He
seemed to push everything along pretty fast. It was intense & a
blessing for me. Peace.
— LionGirl2k
March 2, 2003
Carrie, the verse you are looking for is I Corinthians 10:13. TO RHW.. the
Bible doe NOT say "the Lord helps those who helps themselves".
People have been saying that for so many years that they take it as gospel.
It is NOT there. ;)
— Danmark
March 2, 2003
If He brings you to it, He will bring you through it. Go with your gut.
What is meant to be will be. God Bless.
— wiggie34
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