Question:
Why some people think when you go gastric bypass that what i am having. You didnt try other diets wi
— griffith (posted on November 30, 2006)
November 30, 2006
People say things for different reasons. The big thing is you need to make
the decision for yourself. I am 13.5 weeks out and my mother-in-law and
lots of co-workers were like that and I finally had to start telling people
"be happy for me and pray". My MIL was so against it that we had
to tell her that unless she could be supportive she wasn't welcome in our
house because I needed only positive people around me. I am 82lbs down and
had no complications but she still doesn't think I did the right thing.
As long as you and you imed. family are okay then that is all that
matters.
Good Luck and God Bless!
Amy
— Lost4Ever
November 30, 2006
Kathie, I went through the very same thing when family and friends found
out I wanted to have the gastric bypass. I even had one lady ( who I
thought was a friend) calling and telling me I was selfish and that I
didn't love my kids because I was risking death.But ,I told myself that if
I didn't have the surgery I would end up dieing anyway. So the risk I was
willing to take was based on love for my family and finally for myself
I would rather die trying to be an active member in my kids life that to be
suffering every day of my life with obesity issues and die miserable.
People don't see what pain we suffer on the inside,or how lonely and
miserable we become. If people thought that I was being selfish for
wanting the surgery then it was the first time in my life that I had been
selfish and I deserved it. I just wanted to live a happy productive life
and today I'm 118 pounds lighter and I feel great. I've even returned to
school to finish my bachelors degree in criminal justice. I'm 32 years old
and I'm happy, healthy, and can keep up with my kids 15 and 7. If you want
this, do it for yourself. I'll be praying for you and for your family.
— stephandtim
November 30, 2006
Hello Kathie,
I do hope that your not letting all this stress you out! Until these people
do the research and learn all that we have learned about this surgery, then
they simply have no idea what their talking about. Do not pay them much
attention. If you have made a sound decision to have the WLS and you feel
it is the right decision for you, then go with it. Fortunately I had all
postive reinforment. There is only a select few that I have not told that I
had the surgery, not because I care if they know, but because I (we) don't
owe anybody anything! And furthermore the death rate is not that high,
again, they do not have their facts in order. If you feel this is the best
thing for you, then by all means, have the surgery. Only you can make this
very IMPORTANT decision. Best of luck and may you find peace in all of
this! Jean
— Jean N.
November 30, 2006
Ditto for all that has been said. As you get further along in your
recovery you are going to see that this was not an easy choice. You will
have to keep up with your vitamins, protein intake, doctor appt., and
exercise. You will need to keep an eye on what you eat, how much, and in
my case why. We all got a great tool but if we abuse it it will do no
good. You will always need to be careful about what you eat for all kinds
of reasons i.e. fat, sugar, empty calories, mindless eating, etc. This is
an everyday effort with big rewards if you have done your research and
follow your recovery protocol. You will also see that your friends who are
heavy will treat you different and generally you will get treated different
once you lose weight. You are the one that looks in the mirror every day
and has to live with the decision and outcome not those people giving you
reasons NOT to improve your life. Being overweight all of my life
listening to someone who struggles with 20 lbs. to lose doesn't really
& can't really understand. I am down 130 lbs. and working at losing
another 30 lbs. it has been 16 months for me. I would recommend it to
anyone as long as they know what is involved. Best of Luck it will be the
best ride of your life. :) :)
— 1968 Loser
November 30, 2006
Kathy,
Please think about your family. They are important to you, right? I was
told that if I didnt have the surgery done I was not going to be here with
in four years. I am now almost 5 years out and have maintained a well over
a 100 pound weight loss. I went from taking so many pills for high blood
pressure( nine of them) (200mg of insulin, and 2 1000mg glucophage) plus
all my other meds. I now only take one small pill for diabetes, and one for
High blood pressure.
I am so much healthier now. I weighed 330 and now weigh 179-180 depending
on the day and what I have eaten.
I will pray for you to be able to come through that surgery like I did and
you will be so happy that you are finally on the other side and sliding
down to a slimmer you and your children will be happy to. Good luck and
God Bless you.
— Sherrie S.
November 30, 2006
i have the same problem. im very sensitive to this as well. what people
say, really effect me emotionally. tell them your having surgery to SAVE
your life. if you needed a hysterectomy, you would have one, right?
people can be very judgemental. i wish i never told people. but its my
fault and now i have to hear their wrath. try not to let it bother you and
beware of who you tell. it's really none of their business. don't talk
about it anymore with people who don't understand. good luck.
— DDBEAR458
November 30, 2006
Know this, as with ANY surgery, there is a risk of death mainly because of
the anesthesia. However, most insurances now make you go through a great
deal of approvals -- breath test, stress test, echocardiogram, etc...to
make sure everything will be as good as it can be during the surgery.
Don't worry about what others say...do this for YOURSELF, and tell anyone
that doesn't support you, to go to....LOL you know where...good luck!
— crystalsno
November 30, 2006
Kathie,
Its called FEAR.
My oldest sister is about 5'4 and has been overweight all her life and now
the doctor tells her she has to have a knee replaced. The cartlidge hasn't
worn away from the knee, its OUTSIDE the knee. I told her she might want
to consider the surgery and get that weight off her knees -- she balks.
When I told her I'd been approved for the surgery and set a date -- she
wasn't thrilled --although I'd told her I was planning on having it months
before. Its just fear. We are so used to people being overweight in my
family that now someone is going to change it and they are afraid.
I'm excited, I'm elated, can't wait for Janaury 18th -- but I have to.
Proceed with your plans -- ask your family the question what if I don't
have the surgery and still can't be there for my 3 children. Point is, you
will be there, with, and for your 3 children.
— the7thdean
November 30, 2006
Oh the FEAR:( Over 5 years ago I decided to have WLS, my wife a RN wasnt
happy:( My best friend thought I
was suicidal:(........... IT WAS THE BEST DECISION OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!!! You
can do it too!
— bob-haller
November 30, 2006
Kathie, I wish you the best with your surgery. I am scheduled for mine
Dec. 19. I have decided to have this for my health and so that I can grow
old with my children and grandchildren. Also, so that I can enjoy life
while living it and
not sitting on the sidelines being an observer.
I was hesitant telling some people. But I have been one of the lucky ones
to have support of my family and many of my friends. When I would tell the
people that I was hesitant telling, you could tell by the look on their
faces what they were thinking. I know I did not need to defend myself, but
I wanted them to realize this was not a decision I had made over night. I
would ask them, what are you thinking? With all the research I have done,
and by attending support groups, etc. I was quite often able to answer
their question. I would tell them there are pros and cons to this. I
guess I felt I needed to educate them.
I also have a friend that her sister had the surgery nearly 5 years ago.
She had lost 180 pounds. She has gained back 170. When I told my friend I
was having the surgery, she said I certainly hope it works better for you
than it did for my sister. I asked her why she said that. She said that
her sister has been stopping at McDonald's every night on the way home from
work. Eating what she ordered in the car, and then when she gets home, she
makes another meal for her daughter and herself. I told her, that is not
the WLS fault that is her sisters doing. I also said this is not an answer
to all your problems. If you had emotional issues before WLS, you still
need to seek help for those. I actually feel I did get through to her.
One thing I noticed about your question, you received so many responses. I
read these questions and responses
on a daily basis, and really don't recall another question getting this
many responses. Sure looks like we have all had this issue, doesn't it!!
Again, best of luck to you.
— MJP0520
November 30, 2006
hi Kathie. Some people just don't understand the things obese people have
gone through. Just remember that you are doing this for you - for your
health. Always remember that you are the only one you need to please. I
still have people who turn up their nose when they find out I had WLS. I
feel no need to explain myself - I simply say I did it for my health so I
can watch my children grow up and have children of their own. I was 325
when I started a year and 6 months ago and I am 150 today. I wish you all
the best of luck. - Shannon
— theroses03
December 1, 2006
People are ignorant and misinformed. all we can do is correct their false
assumptions.
— Novashannon
December 1, 2006
How did I diet? Let me count the ways...... When a few inconsiderate souls
asked, "How did you get that big?", I look 'em straight in the
eye and tell them, "Dieting." We all can recite the diets we've
been on, and looking back, did you quit the diet or did it quit you? I can
see some I trashed, but a couple of the big ones, well, I kept doing what I
was doing, but the weight came back ANYWAY. Makes us think we're crazy,
lazy, character flawed and just bad people. And that's not true.
— vitalady
December 1, 2006
Kathie, Don't you know. We took the Easy Way Out.......I'm two years Post
Op and I'm still waiting for it to get EASY. : )
— smparker2
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