Question:
I WONDER WILL IT CAUSE PROBLEM WITH MY BOYFRIEND, BUT HE IS ALL FOR IT

   — aprilbrown (posted on January 9, 2008)

January 9, 2008
Hi April, I assume you mean will having weight loss surgery and losing weight cause a problem? We have covered this extensively in my WLS support groups, and some couples have had difficulties after the surgery, especially if the other is also overweight. But they also say that the relationships that seem to run into trouble are the ones who had problems before the surgery and then had this additional stressor. They say stable relationships with suppurtive significant others are usually OK. I think this may be so as evidenced by the many supportive partners who attend both pre- and postop meetings.
   — obeseforever

January 9, 2008
Hi April, I can completely relate to your concern. I am six days post-op now-Lapband-and back in September when I was doing my research, I asked him what he thought and I must say he wasn't very happy. I felt as though he wasn't being supportive at all. We had alot of arguments over this and I even accused him of perhaps being insecure and perhaps afraid of the change. I thought maybe he might be too jealous once I lost all the weight. He said that wasn't the case-it was that he was just concerned with the actual surgery and the long-term affects of the surgery. He didn't want to see anything happen to me. As time went on, and he went with me to my consult with the surgeon and other doctors, he began to feel a little more comfortable. Although he really didn't talk to me much about the surgery which made me feel like he really didn't care I kept going forward with the process and wasn't going to change my decision for anyone. April, I'll tell you this, don't underestimate how much your boyfriend loves you although he may not say much about it because I'd never seen how afraid he was of something happening to me and the worry and love in eyes like the day before my surgery. We both cried. It was pretty emotional for us...So bottom line is do it for you and you only because you may or may not always wake up and go to bed with your boyfriend, but you do with yourself and only you knows how your weight affects you and how this surgery will change your life forever for all the best. I don't know what stage of the process you're at, but whatever it is-keep going. don't stop and if he's all for it then that's a blessing...the only problem it might cause with your boyfriend is that he won't want to let you out of his sight!!! LOL Good Luck! (sorry for the long reply) hope it helped.
   — natalie117

January 9, 2008
I did in fact lose my boyfriend after I had surgery. But in the process I gained a devoted husband and 2 beautiful babies!! So your life may lead you in a different direction after surgery, so be prepared for anything. My EX is dating a big girl now (I guess that is what he likes). But we had so many problems before the surgery too. I was just not brave enough to let him go.
   — GAYLE CARMACK-LYONS

January 9, 2008
My honey and I were b/f & g/f when I first started the process. He was supportive. We got engaged and then I had the surgery. He is still supportive and we are planning on marrying in Nov 08'. So it can work out, too if it is the right man to begin with. I have heard both sides of the coin and all of the crazy twists in the middle. I think if you are open, honest, communicate and include them - it will work out. Did for me. Couldn't be happier with my decision or my honey.
   — jammerz

January 10, 2008
I HAVE TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, YES IT WILL BUT IF HE REALLY CARES ABOUT YOU HE WILL ACCEPT THE THE NEW CHANGES IN YOU. I HOPE YOU ARE DOING THIS FOR YOU AND NOT HIM, I'M SURE YOU KNOW MEN COME AND GO, BUT THE GOOD ONES WILL STAND BY YOUR SIDE.
   — mommamai

January 10, 2008
My husband was very supportive. He actually gets jealous now. It is great! LOL!! If your boyfriend cannot deal with the new "Hot You". Get a new boyfriend.
   — Carlyn M.