Question:
Depressed...Want a Reversal! Not even taking in Protein & Liquids. Advice Please!!

   — Anita B. (posted on April 19, 2002)


April 19, 2002
Anita, I totally know how you feel. For the first 2 months after my surgery, the only thing that kept me going was contacting doctors across the country to have my surgery reversed! I couldn't drink...I was always parched. I couldn't eat...I was so weak. I was dreaming about food, and waking up so depressed because I couldn't eat or drink enough (let alone any!). Although I'm still young, I can not think of one time in my life where I felt as desperate and miserable as those 2 months! Everyday I would say "what the hell have I done to myself?" For the first two months I had 4 hospital stays, 2 strictures, a deep wound infection. I had to take a towel with me everywhere I went because I would vomit all the time. It was absolutely horrible! But, one day I woke up and I noticed I could drink double what I did the day before. I could eat a tad more and keep it down. The weight loss started to become evident in my clothing. I started to drive my car again, go to the grocery store---everyday stuff that I always took for granted. I wish I had the magic pill that would make it all better. The only thing I can offer you is the wisdom that things do get better with time. It just will take some patience on your part. By the way, I'm 7 months out, i'm down 153 lbs and I'm only 33 lbs till goal. Would I do it again? Absolutely! If you would've asked me that 5.5 months ago? I would've cried and said Hell no! Actually, I think I told many people that this surgery was actually invented by a psychotic nazi! It does get better, hang in there!
   — Kristin R.

April 19, 2002
Understand. Real food w/real flavor helped. I am 31 days out and just now starting to feel even again on a regular basis.
   — Yvette W.

April 19, 2002
I totally understand, but there is hope! I was nauseaus for the first four months. I couldn't move (literally) without being nauseaus. I spent many hours laying on my couch or on the floor in a fetal position trying to get the nausea to subside. And then around the fourth month, it went away. I was able to eat more and that seemed to make all the difference in the world. I know this doesn't help you at this moment but I want you to have hope that it will get better. I am now 11 months post op and have lost 136 pounds. I feel better than I have in many years! Hang in there!
   — Brenda H.

April 19, 2002
I am not going to try and talk you out of what you feel is right for you- the same way I would never try and talk someone into getting the surgery. You will know what is best for you. I am also sorry to hear that you would have liked an angel and didn't get one. I don't often read the message board- and maybe had one of us done so, we would have been there for you at that time. I definitly feel for you, I sympathize and wish I could take away your pain. If reversal is indeed what you want then I would start trying to get myself ready for that (like you did when you first decided on this surgery). Start researching, preparing your body and mind. You DO need to try and get protein/water in somehow- this affects me even 1.5 years out. I can tell when I feel low, depressed. I start drinking water, eating right and in about a hour, it's like I am a new person. You also need to be healthy to get the reversal! So as simple as it sounds, try and follow your Dr.'s after care program to the T. It will help you come time for another surgery. I also want you to know, my life, and many others were totally different the first 3 months; perhaps it is hard for us to write it all out the hills and valleys we all endured- but we did. Every day, every hour is a new challenge! Once we start feeling GOOD, the negative is not really thought of again. Even after the reversal you may feel crummy due to anesthesia, etc. This could be just the way you expirience any surgery? I know I was horribly depressed after my breast reduction. Then again after WLS- so when I was due for Gallbladder, I was prepared- and told myself, you are going to be wierd Karen- wierd! wierd! wierd!, and you need to call the troops in for help. I did, and they did and it was a nicer, easier time for me. They didn't let me get sucked into my "shell" as I had before- but it took me telling them over and over what I needed- since only I could express that to them- it was up to me to "cry for help". The drugs/depression from my surgery(s) only affected me for about 1 month- so I am hoping for you - you will get some relief soon, in order to get strong enough should you go ahead with the reversal. Do you have a support group? You need some one-on-one with some post-ops- face to face! Is your husband helping? Any family members who you can rely on 100%- I have no children, and I can only imagine the "overload" you may expirience- taking care of your family has probably always came first- now dealing with your own issues- you may feel "how do I do it all?". The first and formost issue is you and your health- the others may have to wait. Please let us know often- daily- hourly- how you are- this may help (you and future posters). Have you any liquid protein supplements? These are easier to get in- and sometimes it's nice to have to make a production about what you're gonna eat, how much protein you are or are not getting in- since all you do it pop a can (Atkins etc.)... as much as you may thinking heading to pureed may help, I think just drinking in your protein for now may be the answer? Just a thought. Take care.
   — Karen R.

April 19, 2002
You sound exactly like me. READ MY PROFILE. I am now 1 yr post-op. I have had alot of complications. I would do it again. I have lost 142lbs. I went from a size 30/32 to a size 14/16. You just have to take it one day at a time. I too wanted a reversal, but as they say "This To Shall Pass" I kept saying that to myself. I was even off work for 6 mos. due to problems. Just look at me now, I even work overtime when needed, I never even did that before the surgery. Chin Up. E-mail me if you want to talk.
   — lynbaby B.

April 19, 2002
My heart goes out to you Anita! On 02/26/02 I also had WLS, and ended up in the same boat you seem to be in. I literally felt as if a black cloud had swallowed me up, and I could not believe I actually had allowed this to happen to me! I immediately scheduled my reversal surgery, and began to feel like my life might actually go back to normal once the reversal was complete. Fortunately, I did NOT follow through with a reversal! I am a Christian, so even in the midst of my darkest times, I sought God and His will (just as I had BEFORE my surgery). During this turmoil, I prayed a prayer standing on God's Word (Micah 7:7&8) over and over believing God would see me through; and all glory to God, He did! Hopefully you have family and friends, and maybe a Pastor to rally around you for support, strength, and prayers. It has been 7 1/2 weeks; I feel wonderful in every way and have lost 36 1/2 lbs! Please give yourself time, and know that I will be praying for you specifically! God bless and keep you! Jackie Gibson [email protected]
   — Jackie G.

April 19, 2002
Hang in there! What you are going through will get better, really! I am praying for you. I am 2+ years out and just had a tummy tuck and am feeling depressed. I was also depressed after my RNY and hernia surgeries- I think our bodies respond to the trauma of surgery that way. It does get better! I am counting on that myself:) Good Luck!
   — M B.

April 19, 2002
Please feel free and email me [email protected], I will be your post - surgery angel... I will give you all the attention you need. Don't worry, things will be much better once you start to mentally accept what has happened to your body. This is a BIG deal, and don't let anyone tell you anything different. You need to lighten up on yourself, and give your self extra time to heal(mentally) and be extra nice to yourself. IF you can try to get some self help books, some meditation tapes, or books, to get your mind off of your surgery.... go to meetings meetings meetings!!! I am sure there are WLS meetings in your area, they are the next best thing to sliced bread! Try to get into come counseling , maby some anti anxiety meds temporarily until you adjust to your surgery.. I am not saying dope yourself up and get numb. Just something to calm your nerves. Also, if you need to be admitted to the hospital, don't be shy be sure to talk to your surgeon, call them at 4 am if you have to. TRY TRY TRY HAS HARD AS YOU CAN PLEASE BE SURE NOT TO OVERLOOK YOUR LIQUIDS.. THAT IS MOST IMPORTANT!!!! I would love to call you and talk to you, if you feel comfortable, feel free and email me and we can email for a while, I don't mind calling you on my expense - I am very willing to be your friend. Sometimes others just don't understand. I hope that you are okay honey, don't worry, things will work themselves out.. You HAVE to give it some time. DONT DO ANYTHING DRASTIC (NOT LIKE YOUR SURGERY WASNT DRASTIC) BUT JUST know in the back of your mind that your doctor will reverse your surgery.. Just remember that is an option. I understand your dispair at this point. BUT, just give it some more time... PLEASE PLEASE EMAIL ME.. I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO LISTEN/HELP/TALK ABOUT ICE CREAM AND PIZZA. TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER.. ANYTHING YOU WANT. Just remember to be kind to your self. Namaste xoxo Kim
   — Kim S.

April 19, 2002
Anita, I too, had problems eating or drinking ANYTHING! Just hang in there! I don't know when you had your surgery, but I had mine 9/27/01, I had to have my stoma stretched due to scar tissue, once that was done, I was fine. Whatever the problem, I am sure it will heal w/time. I thought I would never be able to eat or drink anywhere near normal again, but I can. If you would like to e-mail me, my e-mail is: [email protected]. I will be praying for you! Patti Meadows
   — peppermintp

April 20, 2002
Anita, give youself time ! I went back and forth with foods and what it boiled down to was I wasn't going to be able to eat anything my stomach didn't want.... But as tim ehas went on things are as different as night and day now.. but it took about 3 1/2 months.. I'm glad I stuck with it though, down 122 lbs as of last week (4 months 1 week out at the time) and feeling like a whole new person! Remember, you did this for a reason.. Good luck in whatever you decide!!
   — Elizabeth D.




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