Question:
help getting worried
Help I am schedule for surgery in 5 days and my doubt meter is running rampent. From no way can it do this to this will be the best thing in your life. Wife an family are supportive and willing to support me thru. I need so bad to give up my BAD lifestyle of eating. I have a number of health issues driving my decision as well as just wanting to feel better and better about myself. I have an appointment monday with the DR for the last consult before surgery and list a mile long for him but i am still starting to wonder can i do this. is this normal or should i except i will likely feel this way till the day its over. love to here from others for help. — jeffinMI (posted on September 5, 2008)
September 5, 2008
everyone has doubts...trust me this is totally normal. It's a big (maybe
the biggest) step in your life. The results are amazingly wonderful
however there is still adjustment in your life.
You have to want to be healthy and thinner MORE than you want to eat. This
is a hard one....giving up the love/hate relationship with food.
For me it's totally worth it. For people who can't do that I believe they
will eventually not be totally successful.
From now on...after your surgery that is....listen to your stomach...not
your head...and you will do great.
I was crying went I went into the op room...crying from fear and
dissapointment in myself...lots of feelings. Once you get the anasthesia
though...it's all u know 'til u wake up in your room and start the
journey...well CONTINUE the journey I should say.
Good luck.
— cjjordan
September 5, 2008
Hey Jeffrey,
How you feel is totally normal and many of us understand and remember what
you are going thru very well. I dont know what surgery you are having but I
had my surgery 10 days ago and If you are like me you are my worried about
how you will be after surgery than the actual surgery itself. Yes, life
will forever change but I know it will be worth it.l I have been heavy and
been thin and I know I am a whole person when I am thinner and feel good.
Living life as an obese person is not living to the full potential you have
( at least for me). You have so much to look forward to. I know its hard
but think about how much more you will get from your new life instead of
what you are giving up. The reward will be worth it. Good luck and God
bless you and your family.
— trbccowan
September 5, 2008
Jeff-
My surgery was 10/2005 and I do not regret it in the least. My trade off
for the weight loss was debt (self financed my surgery), gas and bloating
and a need for a lot of supplements for the rest of my life. In exchange, I
got my LIFE! I now bike, go to the gym, dance, etc. I am stronger inside
and outside as a result of this surgery. Do I make poor food choices from
time to time? Yes, but at least I can recover from them and that in itself
is empowering emotionally as well as physically. Half of your battle is
your body and the other half of your battle is your mind. I do not know
what kind of surgery you are having but regardless of the kind, this
website is full of people who have made it work. You are ahead of the game
because you have a supportive wife and family. If you want a new life it is
there for you to grab it. I wish you the best of luck.
Resolved VA
— ResolvedVA
September 5, 2008
I am so happy and thankful that I had RNY Gastric Bypass 7 months ago. I
had high blood pressure and was a borderline diabetic. I now have very
normal blood sugar and blood pressure, without taking ANY medications. I
have lost 85 pounds so far, and feel so much healthier and look better too.
I try to stay away from carbs/sugars and eat meat,fish, tuna, eggs, beans,
veggies. I drink a lot of sugar-free Crystal Light and sugar free Lattes. I
drink a Protein drink once a day, I take 2 chewable multi-vitamins a day,
chewable calcium. I have never thrown up or had any major problems. I was
very tired for the first 3 or 4 months after surgery, but that did pass. I
went through the period of missing being able to snarf-down on sweet foods
and other bad foods but I got over that, and am glad I go over that, as I
was eating myself slowly to death! I have small problems, like gas (I take
Gas-x and Digestive Advantage, both sold at Walmart), and I occasionally
feel a little nauseous. To me, that is NOTHING as compared to knowing that
I am not going to develop Diabetes, and that I feel so much healthier and
look better. I am so glad I had the surgery. Yes, I was scared, had doubts,
had second thoughts, but I just told myself, "do it, just do it, get
it over with!!!!!" I went through all of the Doctor appointments
before hand, appointments with the Nutritionist, one appointment with a
Psychiatrist, as was required by Insurance, I just kept on pluggin' along
and got it all done; had an Endoscopy before surgery; it was a piece of
cake, I don't even remember it. You can do it, just get it over with and
soon it will all be behind you, just a distant and you'll be on your way to
good health. I would do the surgery all over again in a heart beat. It was
a big decision, but it was the BEST decision I have ever made. I now have a
second chance at life, and it feels so good to be able to easily cross my
legs, bend over, fasten a seatbelt, fit in to a booth at a restaurant, and
so on. It feels so good to just "blend in" at the grocery store
and feel so conspicuous. My joint pain is almost all gone. I could go on...
You can do it sweetie, just tell yourself, "ok, I'm just gonna get it
over with and it will just be a memory"......
— Gina S.
September 5, 2008
Doubt is very normal. I had RNY on 1/16/08 and can still remember how
scared I was. They wheeled me into the operating table and I remember
thinking "What the hell am I doing?". But now I am down 120lbs
and I feel wonderful. I was 32 years old and weighed 326lbs. I can't
believe I was so big. I can't believe I didn't do this surgery earlier in
my life. Doubting yourself is normal, but you just have to start thinking
differently. Start believing in yourself. You can do this and you will
succeed!! Best of Luck!!
— Shopgrl714
September 5, 2008
Hi Jeffery,
I just asked this same question a few days ago. I asked where is all the
success stories? All I had read was problem.
It was really making me run backwards on doing this surgery.
God bless all the folks (at least 30) that replied and made me feel so
much better.
It made me realize I am not doing this just to lose some weight but rather
to have a healthier life. I';m 53 years old
and if I don't get my weight under control all I can look forward to is
LOTS of health problems. I might fall over dead
of heart attack or get hit by a car but hopefully I will not
have the weight related comorbities. I don't know how old you are but if
you have excesive weight then you are probably
looking at the same fate I am looking at without the surgery.
Looks like there is more nonissue surgerys then there is problem surgerys.
I think perhaps to follow the Dr.'s orders to the LETTER should min. out
risk.
Good luck
donna
— BJW12
September 5, 2008
Hi Jeffrey, I'm in the same boat as you are with the doubt meter. I'm told
that it is perfectly normal to have uncertainties when it comes to having
any surgery. And of course this is a life-long committment which even
makes it harder since besides our spouses and family, food is our
"best friend". Or in my case, STARCH and SUGARS. I'm going to
have RNY surgery on October 1st...9 days before my 43 birthday. I have
several surgeries, but I keep telling myself that the only difference is
with this surgery, I'll actually be able to see some results! And once
it's done, there's no going back. The unknown is always scary. But we can
do this because our gut feeling from the beginning told us to GO FOR IT and
we've come this far! You have the support system there for you and so do
I. We want to live a longer life and do what's best for us physically, as
well as emotionally. So the bottom line is....WE CAN DO IT! Keep me
posted and my prayers are with you.
Sueanne from Saginaw, MI. :o)
— Sueanne M.
September 5, 2008
It was the smartest decision I ever made.
Surgery was 3 months ago and I have lost 50 pounds, no problems, no more
insulin, much healthier, more energy.
— nancycarle
September 5, 2008
Jeffery I was the same way, I absolutely loved food. It was my comfort, my
love when I needed it, I love tocook taste eat go out try new things and
eat until I felt like I was going to bust open! Now I have a whole new
aspect on life and food. You have to really put your mind in a different
frame of thinking, don't think about how hard it will be or how much you
will miss the bad foods you love think about how good you and only you can
make yourself feel. I had the gbs only 15 weeks ago and have already lost
90 lbs. I feel like an entirely new person, at first you may go through
withdrawls from food but after about 1 month of not having sugars and fats
in your food you won't even miss it any more. You will start seeing the
healthier side of life and eating and you will feel good about your
decission and also be glad you did it! Hang in there it will all go away
really soon. Best of luck and be strong!
— carol66
September 5, 2008
Jeff, I am only 2 weeks-15 days out and I felt the same way. I was crying
while the anesthesiologist was putting me to sleep, thinking I wasn't gonna
wake up-why am i doing this? but less than 3 hours later I was awaking to
a new me. I am so happy even on post-op liquid diet-i am no longer on
diabetic shots or high blood pressure meds. If I didn't lose another lb,
just to be free from my co-mors is enough for me, the weight loss is bonus.
Just keep us posted and we will be here for you. Do exactly what the doc
says and you will be fine. Your OH family can help you through
anything-they have helped me every step of the way and I haven't even lost
my 1st 50 yet. talk to you later. Kim
— Godsvirtuoswoman
September 5, 2008
I agree with everyone here. I think everyone, even if they absolutley know
they need and want the surgery, has a few niggling little doubts as time
gets closer to surgery. I had GBS 5-1/2 weeks ago and the first week I
kept asking myself "what have you done to yourself?". Never
again can I overdo at the dinner table, all that wonderful Mexican food I
won't be eating. Oh well. I'll eat better, look better, feel better.
Remember how it is to be so out of breath walking from your car into your
office? That will all go away. You will feel better! Your health will
improve. Isn't that what's most important? If losing weight and keeping
it off was easy we'd all be thin instead of a nation of obese people. I
think once it's done and you get over the initial recovery stages you won't
regret it for a second. Good luck!
— dnefews
September 5, 2008
Hi Jeffrey,
I am 6 years out and still a member of century club. I have had a few
problems here and there but I would do it again in a heartbeat! It has to
be the individuals true decision though. In the many people I have met,
only one wouldn't have done it if they could do things over. Weigh pros and
cons and either back out while you can or jump in with both feet. Either
way, you will trust your instincts in the end. And your family and friends
with support you either way you go. Good luck!
Laurel
— Laurel C.
September 5, 2008
You will have second thoughts ... fears, etc ... that is normal. I was so
scared the night before that I hardly slept. The morning of surgery I
thought I was going to cry ... I stayed strong and held it back ... mainly
for my worried family ... they were so nervous too. Have have 3 sons and I
had to stay strong for them. But I was scared to death. Now 6+ months
later ... 112 lighter ... I would do it all again ... wish I had done it
sooner! Stay strong and know this is the best thing for you and your
future.
— Tammy Cardwell
September 5, 2008
Dear Jeff!
It is natural to have doubts. It is a very big decision, and will forever
change your life as you know it. Remember though, some change is really,
really good!
I researched this surgery for 3 years, and even backed out once. My BMI was
much higher, and eventually, I came to see that something had to change, or
I could not go on physically or emotionally. I tried doing it myself, but I
could not get out of my own way. Finally, I took the plunge. After surgery,
I remember the foreign feeling of NOT being ravenous, the first time I had
that feeling in 40 years. I remember finally feeling free of the spell of
food, and a small portion would fill me up.
I also remember feeling like I lost my best friend in food, and feeling
like I could never eat normally again. I was thrown for a loop, at least
for a while. Then, I began to take joy in other, non-food experiences.
After a few months, my appetite returned, but never to the extreme it once
was. Now, I enjoy normal portions of healthy foods, and have a good balance
in my life. Besides losing over 250 pounds, I have finally gained a good
understanding of what it takes to have balance. Now, it has not all been a
cakewalk. You have to adjust many things in your life, and be very
proactive with your health. Having said that, would I do it again?
Absolutely. Jeff, you can always postpone, attend some local support
groups, and address your fears with people who have actually had the
surgery. In the end, it is your decision, but I am certainly here if you
have any questions or just need an ear. Best wishes, Pam
— pjwilsen
September 5, 2008
Jeffrey I will be 7 weeks out RNY this coming monday and do not regret
doing it. I had the same doubts before surgery and even after surgery but
I have lost almost 40 pounds so far and already feel so much better. Just
remember that you have the support of your family and think of how much
better you will feel when the weight is off and you can do anything and
everything you have always wanted to do.
— STEPHANIEJOHNSON81
September 5, 2008
Jeffery
I am 5 months and 1 weeks out of RNY and i feel like a diffrent person...I
am down from 220lbs to 155lbs and no more meds for all the stuff i was
dealing with before...just my Vitamins...But I feel great and I must say I
am looking good too...LOL !!!
I dont think that you are gonna get too many people that will say that they
would go back to the way they were before the surgery....Yes it is a totaly
diffrent way of living...but I would do it all over again if I had too
I also had doubts up to walking into the hospital the day of my
surgery...and when apon waking up I said to myself....What the hell did I
just do.....But i would never go back to before....
I hope this helps you .....and good luck...Please let me know how
everything goes....
Elisa in Ohio
— british88
September 6, 2008
You can see now that it's perfectly normal to fear surgery...especially one
that alters how your body is supposed to work. But to be completely
honest, my fear was not that something would go wrong...or that I would die
on the operating table...I was not worried about complications...I knew
what I was in for...My biggest fear came from being a true addict of
food...I was most fearful of not being able to eat again...and worse of
all...I was afraid that I would find a way to eat again and fail....like
I'd go thru the entire thing and just gain it all back like every other
derned diet and pill I took ...and exercise I did...NOTHING worked before
to keep the weight off and hard to admit but I would rather had
complications than gain my weight back...Twisted , I know, but that's what
scared me the most. Either way, being MO, I was going to die younger than
I wanted to anyway...and my quality of life SUCKED...(as far as health and
pain goes) Fast forward 5 years...and here I am ...maintaining my weight
for all these years...enjoying food in healthier versions of my old
favs...being off all my meds, no pain...no embarrassment, I fit into seats
and booths...I can go to a restaurant and not have to call first to make
sure they have tables that I might fit at. I can walk without a cane. Hell,
I can run!!!!! So, I have a small cupboard filled with daily vitamins and
supplements and protein powder that I take DAILY...religiously.
I was scared...scared mostly of myself...I did it...and so many others do
to...Yes, it's life altering...and it takes a year to really get the hang
of things and you have to work on it constantly...even 5 years later...but
it gets easier to do. Staying on top of weight fluctuations is easy with
our wls tool. It's easy to get complacent too...That is what I
feared...DON'T ever give up...the tool does it's job, but you have to do
your part in giving it the right choice foods...and the vits and minerals
you will need to take for life and exercise....You can do this...and if you
can't, come surgery day...then that's okay too...NO ONE will blame
you...You have to do what feels right in your heart. Being healthy is so
much fun though...When I woke up in the hospital my first thought was
"Good Lord, what have I done to myself?" My first month I lost
40+ lbs and I just knew I was going to be sooooooo happy in a year and I
was right! Been happy as a pig in ...um..."mud"....ever since!
Just learned I MUST stay on top of my vitamins too...Got that under control
too! Good luck with your decision...
— .Anita R.
September 6, 2008
Hey Jeff, We are surgery buddies, So on Wed am you wont be alone. I had
my doubt period about a month ago. Ive done my research. They reasons I
need the surgery are valid.
I havent met anyone yet that has regreted the surgery. We will be fine. One
step at a time.
PAula
— urbrat2
September 6, 2008
Hi Jeff! Sorry this is a little late I just had rny 3 days ago and I too
had some strong doubts just days even hours before but just try and
remember why you made the decision in the first place. Listen to your heart
and mind and maybe some wise people and you should be seeing clearly again
soon. Good Luck and God Bless!
— hannahsmom1014
September 6, 2008
— Gina S.
September 8, 2008
I am the "Doubt Queen" when it came to my surgery. First of all,
I am 8 months post-op and have lost 99 lb. I do not regret a day of it.
Second, everyone has doubts. A few days before my surgery I was having
second thoughts but afraid to tell anyone. Then the night before surgery
was hell!! I was having panic attacks and crying attacks. I was miserable.
I had finally got to the point of asking my husband if he would be
disappointed with me if I backed out. He of course said no. He also made a
good point. He said to me, "how do you think you are gonna feel about
yourself tomorrow when your surgery time has come and gone? Are you gonna
be disappointed with yourself, are you gonna feel okay being overweight
after all that you have gone through to have this surgery?" I knew I
had to do it, not for him but for me. That morning I kissed my daughter
goodbye and cried the entire way to the hospital. After I got there, the
surgical nurse that was prepping me for surgery made me feel SOOOOO much
better. She was telling about the number of people who have that surgery
done everyday and about how wonderful Dr. Lane is. Even though I cried and
panicked all the way to the surgery room, I am so glad I did it. The only
regret that I have is that I panicked like I did the night before. This
surgery was so easy for me. My recovery time was less than a week before I
felt normal again. I had my daughter via c-section and the GBS was 10 times
easier than my c-section. I love the way I feel, the way I look and the way
others look at me. As a matter of fact, my daughter saw a pic of me before
surgery and she had no idea that it was me. She is almost 3 and hard to
convince when she is set on an idea. And no matter what I said about that
pic she could not believe that it was me. That was a great feeling. I am
off all my blood pressure meds and am fertile for the first time in my life
(we had to use fertility meds to conceive our daughter). I actually jogged
down the bike trail with my daughter the other day and I could do it
without feeling like I was going to have a heart attack. I love my RNY and
wouldn't take one day back!!!!
Good luck to you and God Bless!!
Angie Kimball (sillyguts)
— Sillyguts
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