Question:
Everyone says I look great but are quick to tell me they

think I am losing to much weight. I weigh in at 142 and I want to lose another 10 lbs, most of that will be skin so I am not to concerned..... But I think I look okay.... But everyone tells me that I am too skinny. Maybe I am. I am afraid to eat to much.... I am terrified of eating and gaining back my wt.. I don't want that. I want to live a life where I can be happy and I am happy now. I look good in my book. My face is a little small but that is okay... HELP>>>>>> How many calories and all that should I be consuming at a year out? To maintain. I guess I need to stay where I am wt wise....    — TONYA B. (posted on October 26, 2002)

October 26, 2002
I think a pat, "Thank you for your concern" hits the mark. EVERYONE has an opinion, and people don't realize what an impact they can have on self-esteem that has finally been allowed to bloom. I wouldn't get involved with people and their comments, unless you have friends who've gone through it or people who are non-judgmental. Just my 2 cents.
   — Marti R.

October 26, 2002
I hope you will not think I am being critical of you, because that is not at all my intention...If more than a few people are telling you that you are too skinny, you just may be. Is healthy to eat or you will become ill, both mentally and physically. You need to take in enough nutriunts to keep your body functioning; to keep your hair, skin, and nails healthy(not brittle and dry), and so that your organs can work properly. I understand why you say you are afraid to eat but that does not sound healthy. After having had the surgery we have had, and after having lost most of the excess weight, our bodies need to take in more calories(which is healthy) to normalize and maintain our health. just because you have increased your calories does not mean that you will gain back the weight, as long as you maintain healthy eating habits. A normal person would consume anywhere from 18-2400 calories, depending on your body. I hope this is a little helpful. Good luck to you.
   — twenc

October 26, 2002
How many calories you need to maintain your weight really depends on how active you are. Check out fitday.com; they have a calculator that can figure it out for you based on your current weight, age, and activity level. As far as other people are concerned--forget them!! Do what makes YOU feel good about yourself!
   — LLinderman

October 26, 2002
They usually start in about 30# from goal. Your face is gaunt. Haven't you lost enough? Are you sure that surgery is safe? But you gotta remember that we lost is FAST. Everything all falls down. While you're still fine tuning your hips & tummy, all they see is thing face & neck. What Marti said, "Thank you for your concern. My doctor & I I are working on this together." Covers all the bases, it's true & you don't have to argue (no win) as to whether this weight or the one you WANT is right. Take your photo today, again in 6 months, same position, and again in a year. You'll see what I mean about how you don't gain any wt, but you look less angular, less gaunt, when everything has had a chance to settle.
   — vitalady

October 26, 2002
It is human nature to be somewhat unsettled by change. Be true to yourself and the people in your life will adapt. Don't worry about how they feel, rather consern yourself with your health and meeting your personal goals.
   — Carolynn J.

October 27, 2002
Hi. I totally understand how you feel. I had to go through counseling for maintenance, so I would not go way under the goal the Docs set for me (which were higher than the number I had set for myself!). I have been maintaining the same weight for many months now & strive to stay within 145 lbs. as a low...and 149 pounds as the high. The counseling helped for me to put things into perspective. I'm 5 ft. 6in. and almost age 52. The first goal the Doc had set for me was 165 and I absolutely refused to remain at that weight. Not after going thru all of this, LOL...I even think that I could afford to lose another ten pounds, but EVERYBODY--including my d.h. says NOT. So, counseling did help. On the flip side of this, when I weighed 321 pounds, I did not really see myself as OTHERS truly saw me, either!
   — Barbara B.